Slow Burn
by gosgirl
Summary: Can personal disappointments and professional danger help two long-standing friends and colleagues set aside their own assumptions and develop an unexpected relationship? First time Tibbs.
1. Chapter 1: Raking Over The Coals

**Slow Burn**

Rating: Eventual MA in later chapters  
Pairing: Gibbs/Tony  
Category: Romance / angst  
Spoilers: End of Season 9 from _Missionary Position_ through to Season 10, _Extreme Prejudice_, with references back to earlier episodes in Season 9.

Summary: Can personal disappointments and professional danger help two long-standing friends and colleagues set aside their own assumptions and develop an unexpected relationship?

A/N: the original prompt for this story came from Kesterpan, so it's all her fault. She has also flung over numerous bunnies and let me bend her ear, as has Gibbsredhoodie. Hugs and cookies and ice cream to them both for the great beta help. And I hope this also cheers up my friend Bamacrush who has been nagging me for this for ages… no change there then! ;)

Each chapter is a mix of missing scenes and tags to episodes at the end of Season 9, and this first chapter starts straight after _Missionary Position._

* * *

**Chapter 1 – Raking Over the Coals**

"I'm giving up women."

Gibbs snorted at Tony's sudden declaration, looking up from the chair he was repairing for Leyla. "That'll be the day."

Tony grinned over at him from his usual position at the foot of the basement steps. "No, I'm serious, Boss, really... After the last few months, I've realized they're nothing but trouble with a capital T."

"You only just workin' that out, DiNozzo?"

"Or maybe it's more like I should give up on manipulative women. I mean it's not been quite like Kathleen Turner in Body Heat or Stella in Streetcar, which may be more your vintage, Boss." Tony shot him a cheeky grin and Gibbs rolled his eyes. "But at times it's felt like a close run thing, if you get my drift."

"Oh yeah. I hear ya." Gibbs nodded, but didn't elaborate, conscious of Tony's curious gaze.

"I mean, don't get me wrong. I love women, always have, always will but... sometimes," Tony sighed, shrugging. "I dunno. With some, it just seems like a lot of effort for... for not a lot of return, you know."

Gibbs shot him a glance but didn't reply, merely holding up the bottle of bourbon. Tony nodded, levering himself up off the stairs and coming forward for a refill.

When Tony returned to sit on the steps again, he went on quietly, almost to himself as he gazed down at his mason jar. "And sometimes when you do put in the effort... that doesn't seem to work either. And it doesn't end up being what either of you wanted or hoped it would be anyway... Damned if you do, kinda thing..."

Tony trailed off and Gibbs let the silence drift for a while, sipping his own bourbon as he waited. He debated letting Tony leave it at that but it was the first time he'd alluded to his recent relationship with Wendy, and Gibbs was concerned for his friend.

Tony had been preoccupied since he'd arrived and Gibbs had assumed it was about the case but maybe not totally.

So when Tony continued to remain lost in thought, gazing down at his drink, Gibbs decided to push... just a little bit.

"You wanna go on?"

Tony glanced up, looking slightly surprised as if he'd forgotten he wasn't alone. He gazed at Gibbs for a moment before replying. "Not sure... Maybe... maybe not. Maybe after another few of these to get my head on straight," he grinned, holding up his drink before knocking back a large gulp.

Gibbs tilted his head in acknowledgement. "Better rack here tonight then."

"Very true, Boss. Thanks. Got my go-bag in the car and it's not a school night." Tony's bright smile reached his eyes for the first time this evening. He was silent for a little while longer as Gibbs continued working before speaking again. "And hey, look on the bright side... maybe this weekend I can work on not being such a dead weight now we're back from Columbia and the mysterious Monique."

_Ah, so that was it... or partly it._

Gibbs had seen Ziva's comment strike a nerve before they left on the mission but hoped Tony wouldn't let it fester. Maybe he should've known better?

Gibbs weighed his words carefully for a moment. "Hey." He waited till Tony's head came up and deliberately held his gaze. "Never that. Ziva's words. Ziva's problem."

Tony stared at him for a moment, his expression softening as if he saw what he needed in Gibbs' eyes. "Yeah, Boss, I know... and I know she didn't mean it, not really."

"No... she didn't."

Gibbs knew Tony and Ziva had their differences and the heated banter was often more like siblings scrapping, but above all, they had each others' backs.

And over the years, Gibbs had often wondered if it would become more than that.

A comfortable silence fell as Gibbs continued working on the chair while Tony sat quietly on the stairs. After a while, Tony finished his drink and wandered over for another refill and Gibbs bit back his surprise.

When Tony came over, his SFA didn't usually have more than a couple of bourbons, even of the good stuff, so the fact that Tony felt he needed more tonight spoke volumes about his unsettled state of mind.

And also maybe how tired Tony was.

Columbia seemed to have taken more out of Tony than Gibbs had expected, although judging by his earlier comments, there was clearly something else bothering him.

Gibbs could see the dark shadows under his friend's eyes, the drawn features speaking of too much stress and too little sleep. Tony was not long in from his flight from Columbia, Chaplains Castro and Wade safely returned, the risky mission completed and he and Ziva back home safe.

So, as late as it was, Gibbs had been glad Tony had turned up tonight so he could see for himself that the younger man was okay.

It hadn't been long after Ryan left tonight that Tony had arrived. If he was honest, Gibbs was glad of the distraction from his concerns over Ryan's behaviour on this case, about how she'd withheld information and played mind games when his team was in danger far from home.

He'd experienced her brain gamer stuff previously before they'd become involved but had hoped that now they were... whatever it is they were doing... that Ryan might dial it back a bit.

She hadn't… and that both worried him and pissed him off.

But it was still early days in their relationship and he did like Ryan, finding her enough of an intriguing challenge to want to try to work it out, at least for now.

So Ryan's visit tonight had ended with them in bed, Gibbs choosing not to examine her motives too closely and from the way she eagerly distracted him, it seemed she wasn't keen on allowing him too much thinking time either after her admission about Monique, and he'd played along.

Gibbs had the feeling Ryan was testing him somehow.

He sensed there was something Ryan wasn't telling him and suspected it involved her ex-husband, which is partly what made him want to help. So he was prepared to cut her a little slack in their personal life. but he didn't like how it spilled over into their professional lives and endangered his team, as it had done this time.

Not having a sitter for her son, Parker, meant that Ryan left soon after and Gibbs was partly relieved she wasn't staying overnight this time, sensing he might get a visit from Tony when his plane landed. So he'd showered before heading downstairs to the basement to work on Leyla's chair and wait for Tony.

And Gibbs didn't totally buy that Ryan couldn't help the brain gamer stuff. Everyone had a choice how they behaved and she'd chosen that route, for whatever reasons.

So he'd ended the evening physically satisfied, mentally frustrated and emotionally wary. It wasn't a good combination.

Conscious his mind was beginning to run in unproductive circles, Gibbs paused in his work for a moment to look over at Tony, who'd fallen silent again.

"You eaten?"

Tony looked up, startled for the second time that night at the sudden question. "Yeah... got something crappy and quick when we landed." He titled his head on one side as if he was communing with his stomach. "Though I could eat."

"You could always eat." Gibbs grinned.

"It's part of my charm." Tony waited for the eyeroll he knew was coming before going on. "You eat?"

"Earlier."

"But something to soak up the bourbon wouldn't hurt, yeah, I know," Tony finished for him with a matching grin. "Maybe it's too late for takeout, even for us. So... I'll go rummage in your fridge, see what I can rustle up... assuming there's some actual food in there."

Gibbs tilted his head, smirking. "There might be."

"On it, Boss... in a bit. I'll finish this first." Tony held up his jar and then paused as a thought seemed to strike him. "Hey, did Jimmy choose a best man in the end? Damn... that was something else I missed while we were out of the country."

Gibbs chuckled. "Oh yeah... best woman."

"What?!" Tony considered for a moment before a wide smile spread across his face. "Abby."

"Yup," Gibbs nodded. "Good choice."

"That's so cool. In fact, that's real nice." Tony laughed. "Though you gotta wonder what she's gonna come up with for the bachelor party."

Gibbs grinned. "Reckon we oughta check our tetanus shots?"

"You may have a point there, Boss." Tony chuckled softly to himself. "Was she pleased?"

"What d'ya think?"

"I think that she probably knocked Jimmy to the ground when she hugged him..." Tony stared off into the distance for a minute, a smile curving his mouth. "Wish I coulda seen that too."

"Ask her... she'll give ya an action replay."

"Good idea, Boss. Really pleased for our little autopsy gremlin." Tony looked down at his jar, swirling the drink around. "Breena's beautiful, smart, funny... and for some reason adores Jimmy and we all know how he feels about her. Happy for 'em. So it looks like one of us is getting it right, huh?"

Gibbs nodded, watching the thoughtful look on Tony's face. He took a swig of his own drink as he waited for more.

"Got a minor bone to pick with you, anyway, Boss."

Gibbs merely quirked an eyebrow.

"Or should I say Cupid?"

Gibbs sighed and threw down his screwdriver, sensing they were getting to the heart of it now. "Wendy?"

Tony nodded, shifting on the step. "Yeah, Wendy. You know we split up... again?"

"You didn't say till now." Gibbs watched his friend with concern, the fidgeting and leg bouncing nervously all tells that Tony was anxious. "But sorta guessed."

"Yeah, well... it didn't work out. Again. Not for want of trying... at least I don't think it was for lack of trying but..." Tony shrugged. "Was doomed from the start, I guess."

"Why?"

"Because..." Tony ground to a halt and Gibbs wondered if he'd be treated to a deflection, but he was relieved when he got what sounded like honesty instead.

"Maybe partly coz I couldn't be sure what Wendy wanted, not this time round. Last time, it was fairly obvious, y'know... she wanted me, Baltimore, being a cop's wife, eventually a family maybe. We both wanted the same things or so I thought. Her motives this time?" Tony shook his head. "Dunno, Boss. Was it really me Wendy wanted again or a father for her kid?... who seemed to dislike me from the get go, by the way. Couldn't even be sure why she got in touch at Christmas."

Gibbs waited a moment, feeling a twist of guilt as he saw Tony's bewildered hurt before his friend clamped down on it and his face blanked. He waited till Tony's eyes me his. "My bad, Tony."

"Don't need an apology, Gibbs." Tony held his gaze for a few seconds, his eyes serious. "But just wanna understand why you did it? You were there when it went south the first time... not sure it had much chance second time round either."

"Just figured..." Gibbs began before breaking off and averting his gaze for a few moments as he collected his thoughts. When he turned back, Tony had an expectant look on his face and Gibbs took a deep breath, knowing his friend deserved his honesty too. "Aw, hell, Tony... just figured you'd be able to move on, either way. Hoped you'd be happy."

It was a second chance few couples got.

After his near death experience months ago in the diner and seeing his alternative realities, the ones that had hit him hardest had been those where Kate was still alive and she and Tony were married and they had a family. It had partly prompted him to arrange for Tony and Wendy's paths to cross again when the opportunity arose.

Gibbs wanted his friend to have that chance at a normal family again... or to get Wendy out of his system entirely and be able to move on.

Tony stared at him for a moment before nodding. "Yeah, I know, me too... and I can't fault ya for that, I guess... and as pissed as I was with ya back then, I know you had your reasons and I know you've got my back."

"Always, Tony."

"Just chalk it up to another spectacular DiNozzo failure, right? I'm good at those."

Gibbs frowned. "Can't blame yourself all the time."

Tony huffed a soft laugh. "Wish I could be sure of that... but yeah, maybe. She's not the woman I remember, that's for sure, and I don't think I'm the man Wendy remembered and thought she was getting back either," he finished softly, almost to himself before summoning up a smile. "Hope yours is going better, with Dr. Ryan, I mean. Well, I guess it couldn't be going worse, could it? So I hope it works out, y'know. You deserve that. I, er, saw her leaving as I was arriving tonight... hoped I wasn't interrupting anything."

"Nope." Gibbs sighed. He was silent for a few seconds. "Like her. Not sure I can trust her."

"Yeah?"

Gibbs nodded. "Yeah... she held back some things about the case. Things that may have put you and Ziva and the Chaplains at risk."

Tony stared at him, brow furrowing. "Didn't realize that. That's not good and I bet that pissed you off."

Gibbs tilted his head. "Oh yeah."

"Back to manipulative women again, eh, Boss?"

"Ya got that right," acknowledged Gibbs.

"Gotta be able to trust 'em, right? To let 'em get close. Trust 'em with your heart." Tony finished softly.

Gibbs stared at Tony, concerned at the hurt he could see close to the surface. Anyone who didn't know Tony well wouldn't see it but he could read the signs.

"Yeah... trust is important. And loyalty."

"Works both ways, Boss, doesn't it, and when it's not there in a relationship, it's a big problem... a bigger problem than being incompatible, I guess. That you can get round if you really want to."

"If it works in other ways, yeah, you can."

"Yeah... and you gotta have trust in the bedroom too. Don't want manipulation or brain gaming in bed either." Tony shot Gibbs a cheeky grin as he looked him over. "But you seem to have escaped intact... so far. Don't see any obvious signs of injuries."

Gibbs snorted. "Not yet anyway."

"But watch this space, huh? Hope I can say as much." Tony slugged back the last of the bourbon. "It's a good job we can trust each other, right, in everything? At least we got that."

Gibbs smiled, nodding. "It helps."

"Balances it out a bit, I guess." Tony stood and stretched, easing out the kinks in his lower back. "Knowing we can trust each other and have got each others' backs. It's a good feeling... seriously, Gibbs, it feels good."

Gibbs chuckled. "Maybe we oughta sleep together then?"

He saw Tony freeze and shoot a glance his way as he replied quietly, "Maybe we should."

Before Gibbs could reply, Tony had turned and began taking the stairs two at a time. Slightly stunned, puzzled, and more than a little intrigued, Gibbs processed the glimpse he'd had of Tony's expression.

He meant it as a joke but could see by Tony's reaction that he'd gotten a semi-serious reply... his face open and honest, the striking green eyed gaze level and serious.

_What the...? _

* * *

Tony stood in Gibbs' kitchen, cursing himself, feeling the buzz from the alcohol in his system.

_Way to go, Anthony. _

_You just had to say it, didn't ya? Just coz you're tired and a bit pissed off, you had to let slip an honest answer instead of thinking first before opening that big mouth. _

Tony was tempted to kick the crap out of the chair he was leaning on but figured Gibbs wouldn't be too pleased at fixing two chairs in one night. So before he could give in to it, he started pacing instead.

For years, he'd kept a lid firmly fastened on the box of his attraction to his Boss. Battened it down shut and parked it in the too difficult and definitely don't go there, Anthony, category_. _

Don't think about how Gibbs was just about every example of what he found attractive in a man, or how he trusted him more than he'd ever trusted any woman... and how he'd always felt more comfortable and at ease with Gibbs than with any other person in his life.

Tony could only guess and worry over what his Boss and friend had made of his comment just now.

Gibbs didn't know... or at least Tony thought he didn't know... that Tony was bi, and that lots of his short term flings and one night stands were with as many Johns as they were with Joannas.

But revealing that to his straighter than straight Marine Boss and best friend was a whole other ball game, especially if it meant that Gibbs also realized Tony was physically attracted to him.

Besides, thinking about what he might really want in life and which was well nigh impossible anyway wouldn't get Tony anything other than a lot more heartache, and he'd had enough of that lately with round two with Wendy.

So... best just concentrate on safe things, like what's in the fridge and brewing coffee, and not on a startled Marine with those blue eyes that could see everything, staring after him as Tony made his rapid escape from the basement.

As he put together enough leftovers from the fridge for a couple of sandwiches each, Tony reflected back on ten years of pushing away that attraction. His friendship with Gibbs was the most important in his life and he wasn't about to risk that by letting the guy realize what had been bubbling under the surface for ten years.

If he couldn't have Gibbs in his life as anything other than his Boss and friend, then so be it.

But had he just sunk that particular ship with his loose lipped comment?

Time to sober up and fast, lest he make it worse.

It was the first time he'd talked to Gibbs about the failure of their second attempt at making it work, he and Wendy. He'd wanted to before now but given how the Marine had obviously made efforts to set them both up, in a daft way it had felt like he'd failed Gibbs too... which he always hated doing.

He heard Gibbs' footsteps on the stairs and reached for the coffee mugs.

"Hey, Boss," he greeted Gibbs cheerfully as he came through the door, keeping his attention on the coffee pot. "Good timing, but then you always have good timing. I swear you can smell when the coffee's just brewed right and not a second before."

Conscious of Gibbs' eyes burning a hole in his back, Tony busied himself pouring coffee and picking up the plates. Taking a deep breath, he turned and shot Gibbs a quick smile, making eye contact briefly, seeing the slight intrigued watchfulness in his expression.

"You done down there?"

Gibbs nodded. "Yeah... you wanna catch the game or you had enough?"

"No... the game would be good." Tony led the way into the living room, Gibbs following behind...

… both men ignoring the slumbering pachyderm in the corner.

TBC...


	2. Chapter 2: Kindling

**Slow Burn**

A/N: Spoilers for _Rekindled._

Many thanks for all the alerts and favs and reviews – the system won't allow me to reply to guest reviews but please know that I appreciate every one. And a prod to my friend Ziver 69 for her lovely reviews and mammoth read of chapters lately, and unrelated Gabby bunnies… and she really, really needs to update her own Tibbs story coz I miss it! Once again, I couldn't have done any of this Tibbs story without Kesterpan and Gibbsredhoodie.

* * *

**Chapter 2 – Kindling **

Prodding the steaks sizzling over the fire, Gibbs smiled inwardly as he heard the front door open and close, followed by the thud of a backpack hitting the floor in the hallway.

He glanced up from his position in front of the fireplace as DiNozzo appeared in the living room doorway, leaning on the doorframe and throwing a brief tired smile his way. He'd clearly gone home to change before making his way here as Tony was now in jeans and a sweatshirt.

"Hey, Boss."

Gibbs nodded a greeting before turning back to the fire.

DiNozzo pushed himself off from the doorframe, shrugging out of his jacket and moving back into the hallway to hang it up, and Gibbs heard his voice drift through. "Was gonna suggest takeout but you're way ahead of me, as usual. Cowboy steak is good... in fact, it's better than good."

"Better than pizza?"

That got him a quick but genuine smile as DiNozzo reappeared. "Oh yeah, even better than pizza."

Gibbs smirked and nodded towards the kitchen. "Grab a couple."

Moving almost on auto-pilot, DiNozzo detoured to the kitchen and retrieved two beers from the fridge. He popped the caps and dumped one bottle on the coffee table near Gibbs, before flopping onto the couch with a tired sigh.

Gibbs eyed him, feeling a twinge of concern as he took in the drawn face, the tightly wound body language and weariness that hung around Tony like a cloak. Gibbs knew it wasn't the physical strain of the case that had produced the obvious signs of tension he could see.

It was the mental stress that had taken such a toll on his friend.

He'd been worried about his SFA throughout this whole case... and not just because of Jason King's obvious hostility, but also the painful memories it had clearly stirred up in Tony.

It hardly needed Jason's help to make Tony's demons rise to the surface again.

And Gibbs knew a thing or two about the impact the past could have.

It didn't help that Tony had had to run the gauntlet of McGee and Ziva and their curiosity to find out what had happened. Gibbs usually let them fight their own battles but he'd been moved to intervene when his junior agents jumped to the conclusion that Tony's connection with Jason King must have been because of a woman.

Tony's self-reinforced reputation coming back to bite him in the ass again.

And it was a testament to how unsettled Tony was that he was quiet as he sat on the couch, his gaze inward as he sipped his beer. As much as Gibbs wanted to ask Tony how his conversation with Jason had turned out, he remained silent, letting Tony work it through in his head in his own time.

He'd talk when he was ready… if he talked at all.

They were a lot alike in that respect.

When Tony had come back to the bullpen after his ride down in the elevator with Jason, one of his many masks had been firmly in place. The one that said, _everything's fine, no problem, I got this under control_.

Tony had merely nodded briefly in Gibbs' direction, not making eye contact for long enough for Gibbs to read him clearly, which he suspected was deliberate.

Before Gibbs could work out how to tackle getting through that wall or whether it was best to leave it till later, he'd been called up to Vance's office. When he'd returned, it was to find Tony already gone, paperwork completed and on his desk in the now empty bullpen.

The folded note on top of Tony's paperwork that just said _Thanks _in Tony's distinctive handwriting gave him some hope that something positive had happened in the elevator.

When the meat was ready, Gibbs picked up the plates from the coffee table and dumped the steaks on them, handing Tony his as he sat next to him on the couch.

Tony automatically toasted him with his beer and they ate in silence but as always between them, it was a comfortable one. Gibbs suspected that some people who thought they knew all about Tony would be surprised at how quiet the voluble man could be and how still.

And little by little, Gibbs could sense Tony relaxing next to him and when Tony placed his empty plate on the coffee table, he sat back with a satisfied sigh. Leaning his head against the back of the couch, he rolled it sideways to look at Gibbs.

"Thanks... Guess I was hungrier than I thought. Was gonna ask how you knew I'd be here tonight but I gave up trying to second guess your second sight a while back."

Gibbs shrugged, trying to play down his concern. "Figured you might need feeding."

Gibbs was glad Tony was here tonight.

If he hadn't turned up, Gibbs was going to drive over to Tony's apartment after he'd eaten and try and track the younger man down, just to check he was okay.

"And you figured right." Tony smiled and the green eyes lit up briefly before he sobered and studied Gibbs thoughtfully. "Spoke to Jason. Well, of course, I spoke to him, you saw me race after him and the elevator doors close... hard not to speak to him in a confined space."

"Did ya help him see?"

Tony shrugged, averting his gaze and looking down at his beer, picking at the label on the bottle. "Maybe... Dunno." When he looked up again after a few moments, his voice was more confident. "Yeah, maybe I did."

"Good." Gibbs gathered the plates, waving Tony back when he moved to help. As Gibbs set about making coffee in the kitchen, he let his mind wander back.

They hadn't talked about it in a while but Gibbs knew the pain and guilt Tony carried around over what had happened to Jason King's sister. It cropped up now and then when they had similar cases.

Gibbs remembered the night Tony had told him the story of the fire and how that incident had changed the course of Tony's life in so many ways. He'd learned about it after a similar case years ago where a Petty Officer had ended up sacrificing his own life in a vain attempt to save two kids from a fire that turned out to be arson.

The echoes had been vivid for Tony, and Gibbs had sensed something driving him beyond his agent's usual strong sense of justice. When the case closed, Tony had turned up in his basement one night and after a while, the bourbon loosened his tongue enough for the younger man to share what haunted him still.

It had been one of many instances over the years which had helped move them from colleagues to friends.

After delivering the coffee to the living room, Gibbs detoured to pick up the bourbon and two glasses and Tony accepted his shot with a smile, holding it up to the light.

"The good stuff? What's the special occasion, Boss?"

Gibbs shook his head. "Just easier on the head in the morning."

Tony laughed and Gibbs smiled at hearing the familiar sound. "You gotta point there."

Gibbs returned to the couch with his own glass, sitting back, leaning his head back with a sigh. He eyed Tony as the younger man sat forward, arms on his knees, glass cradled in his hands as he stared down at the amber liquid.

Gibbs sipped his coffee while he waited him out, pretty sure there was more to come.

When Tony spoke again, his voice was quiet and thoughtful. "Guess I shouldn't be surprised he still blames me... but I was surprised, y'know, on that boat when I saw Jason. I mean, I understood why the kid was angry with me all those years ago. Hell, I was mad at myself... for years I thought I should've done more. But I guess I'd hoped when Jason grew up, he might've understood why I couldn't save 'em both."

Gibbs nodded, even though Tony couldn't see him. "Especially with his job now."

"Yeah, exactly." Tony glanced at him over his shoulder. "I mean I get why he was mad at me right after it happened. He was only a kid and he'd just lost his baby sister."

Tony's voice cracked slightly and Gibbs felt his gut twist in sympathy. He held his tongue and waited for Tony to recover. Eventually, Tony cleared his throat before continuing. "I'm not exactly looking for forgiveness from him but... I dunno." Tony waved his hand almost helplessly. "Some kind of acceptance maybe... I didn't start the damn fire, after all."

"Reasonable enough," Gibbs agreed. "You were just doing what you thought was right. Jason sure knows more about fire than we do by now."

"A helluva lot more." Tony nodded, taking a slug of his bourbon before placing his glass on the table and reaching for his coffee, which he sipped more slowly. "Everything he's learned about fires with his job shoulda made it obvious there was nothing I coulda done. Nothing anyone coulda done by then. I got there too late… far too late" Tony huffed a soft laugh. "Though I guess it explains why I couldn't get hold of him later on."

"You tried?"

"Yeah," Tony nodded. "I tried contacting him a couple of times over the years when he was older. Wanted to see how he was doing, but he wouldn't return my calls. I even tried writing but... nothing."

That was news to Gibbs.

Tony hadn't said before that he'd made attempts to contact Jason. But it spoke volumes over how much the events of that night had had a continuing emotional impact on Tony's life.

Gibbs let the silence drift for a few moments, before leaning forward and mirroring Tony's position as they sat side by side. He waited until Tony made eye contact before going on. "Maybe he just needed someone to blame, Tony, and you were the obvious target."

"Yeah, I know." Tony shrugged, giving him a brief smile. "In his shoes, I mighta done the same."

"Doesn't make it right but..." Gibbs paused a moment. "Maybe blaming you is easier than dealing with his own guilt for not saving his sister?"

Gibbs had been surprised by the depth of Jason's animosity, still strong after nearly twenty years. Jason was letting his personal feelings override his professionalism.

Transference at its finest.

Gibbs had meant what he said earlier about Tony helping while others didn't. Tony had been barely a kid himself when he'd run into the kind of fire it would need trained professionals to tackle.

"I know..." Tony sent him a rueful look before gazing down at his hands again. "And I'm in danger of being a stuck record… sorry about that, Boss. I know we've gone over this before and you've told me the same thing."

"Hey." Gibbs waited again till Tony looked up. He held his gaze. "And one day you'll believe it."

Tony eyed him steadily for a long few moments before his expression softened and his mouth curved in a slight smile. "Yeah... maybe. If you beat it into me enough times."

Gibbs reached out and whacked Tony lightly on the back of the head and this time, Tony's smile widened. "That's more like it."

The sudden ringing of Gibbs' cell stopped whatever Tony was about to say and, annoyed at the interruption, Gibbs snatched it up with a terser than usual. "Yeah, Gibbs." He listened to the voice on the other end for a moment and Tony saw his expression soften a bit. "Hey, Doc."

Tony made to get up to give him some privacy but Gibbs stopped him with a raised hand, merely turning away slightly and leaning forward, his hand rubbing over his hair. But Tony ignored him and took their mugs out to the kitchen before flipping on the coffee maker.

Tony told himself he wasn't really trying to listen. Really he wasn't. But Gibbs had a voice that carried so he could hardly avoid hearing the Marine's side of the conversation.

"Not tonight, Doc... No... just busy tonight. Yeah, busy... I'll call ya tomorrow."

Tony stared almost blindly at the coffee pot in front of him as Gibbs ended the call.

_Wow_... was that Gibbs blowing off getting laid just to keep him company?

He hadn't thought before coming over here tonight. It had just been instinct... that when he was feeling hurt and unsettled, it was here he needed to be.

It was Gibbs he needed.

But he could kick himself for not thinking that Gibbs might be expecting company tonight already.

Gibbs entered the kitchen and Tony glanced his way as the older man started cleaning up. Tony watched for a moment, trying to read Gibbs' mood, before grabbing the cloth to dry as Gibbs washed the few dishes.

He tried to ignore the warm fuzzies Gibbs' phone call had triggered, feeling obliged to make the offer, even if he didn't want to go. "I shoulda checked before coming if you were expecting company tonight. I'm sorry. I oughta go. Let you get your evening back."

Gibbs shook his head. "No need."

Gibbs didn't feel too guilty about turning down Ryan's suggestion she come over tonight, although she'd sounded put out when he'd put her off. Even without Tony here, he was tired and not in the mood for one of her mental merry-go-rounds.

Gibbs was discovering that Ryan was very high maintenance.

He wouldn't have said no to the physical release but figured his friend needed him more.

When they'd finished up, Gibbs eyed Tony. "You gonna stare at it all night or you actually gonna pour that coffee?" Gibbs smirked as he headed for the living room.

Tony huffed a laugh as he addressed the empty kitchen. "On it, Boss."

* * *

They spent the rest of the evening in the basement, Tony watching Gibbs work, content to sit quietly. There was always something soothing and relaxing about watching the Marine work, patiently crafting the wood and if Tony's gaze lingered on the large hands for too long or the way the muscles of his back moved as he stretched, then he just hoped that Gibbs wouldn't notice.

He'd been sneaking admiring looks like this for years and hoped he hadn't been caught yet.

Although he'd slipped up badly a week or so back with his comment about them sleeping together in response to a joke from Gibbs. Thankfully, the Marine hadn't tackled him about it yet and they seem to have gotten over that awkward moment relatively easily.

So Tony had been extra careful lately in what he said and did around the Marine, trying not to add fuel to whatever might be brewing in Gibbs' head about Tony's remark.

Tony hoped that Gibbs would leave it alone as Tony really didn't want to go there.

Apart from anything else, it would be too hard to lie to the guy.

As Gibbs turned to pick up a tool, Tony moved his gaze elsewhere in the basement in a practised move.

His mind went back to all the hours he'd spent down here. How the place and the man had become as much of a sanctuary for him as a confessional, although he nearly choked on his drink at the thought of Gibbs taking confession. He grinned down at his drink, shaking his head at the image.

Suddenly aware Gibbs was standing in front of him, Tony looked up. Gibbs held out the bottle and Tony glanced at it ruefully. "You shouldn't be encouraging me to drink on a school night, y'know... my Boss wouldn't like it and he's a very demanding guy."

Gibbs grinned briefly, pouring another shot into Tony's glass anyway. "You can always stay here."

Tony gave him a bright smile and toasted him. "Thanks, Boss."

Gibbs eyed him for a moment and Tony caught a flash of something in the blue eyes which vanished before he could work it out. "Not your boss right now, Tony."

Tony thought that over for a moment, then smiled, absurdly pleased with something so simple that meant so much.

"Thanks... Jethro."

* * *

Gibbs wasn't sure what woke him but something had startled him awake and he lay in the dark on the couch, senses alert as he tried to work out what it had been. When the cry came, it was loud and full of pain... and coming from upstairs.

"NOOO!"

_Tony._

Gibbs threw back the blanket and headed upstairs, taking them two at a time, flicking the light on as he passed. He came to a halt outside the closed guestroom door, listening intently but the volume of the cries had reduced and he could only make out the odd anguished word, the rest unintelligible mumbling.

"I can't... Tried... stop. No... Too hot."

Gibbs debated with himself about going in but the distress in that voice drove him to open the door. He could see Tony in the half light from the landing. His friend was moving restlessly in the bed, the covers in disarray, his head thrashing from side to side on the pillow.

Gibbs approached the bed cautiously, calling Tony's name when it became clear that his entrance into the room wasn't going to be enough to pull Tony out of his nightmare.

Still oblivious, Tony continued to shift restlessly and Gibbs' gut clenched at the emotion in his friend's voice. He moved nearer, pausing a few feet from the bed lest he get punched.

"DiNozzo!"

DiNozzo shot into a sitting position, disorientated from the sudden loud yell and stared about him wildly for a second before seeing Gibbs. "Jeez..."

Gibbs moved to stand next to the bed and Tony swung his legs over the side of the bed, rubbing his hands over his face, his shoulders heaving as he struggled to get his breath.

Gibbs hesitated but as he saw Tony's increasingly shaky, almost panicky breathing setting in, he rested a hand on his back, lowering himself to sit next to Tony on the bed. "Breathe, Tony... just slow and easy."

He kept his voice even as he repeated himself until Tony's breathing slowly evened out, Gibbs rubbed soothing circles on his back the whole time, gratified when Tony didn't pull away but almost leaned into him.

Tony ran his hands over his face one more time and up over his hair, leaving it spiky and sticking up in all directions. His T-shirt was soaked through and Tony felt almost too warm but Gibbs didn't remove his hand, leaving his arm almost stretched around the younger man.

Gibbs sensed Tony needed the contact while he settled... ignoring the voice inside that said he needed it as well, to make sure Tony was really okay.

Tony gave a nervous laugh, staring down at his hands. "You scared the crap outta me."

"You wouldn't wake up."

Tony snorted. "Guess I'm lucky I didn't get a 'grab your gear' too."

Gibbs chuckled. "That was next."

"Lucky escape then." Tony shot him a rueful glance and Gibbs caught his breath as he saw the green eyes bright with tears. "Sorry, Jethro... didn't mean to wake you."

Gibbs shook his head. "Doesn't matter."

"Should've expected this I guess." Tony took a deep breath, scrubbing at his face.

"Still happen often?"

Gibbs knew he didn't have the monopoly on nightmares.

It was one of the more unwelcome things they had in common.

Tony had his fair share of nightmares too and the younger man had hinted at the 'kid from Baltimore' triggering more than a few over the years. So it was hardly surprising if the events of the past few days had caused a resurgence.

"No, not for years really. Not about this anyway..." Tony fell silent for a while and Gibbs watched him carefully. "Maybe Jason's right? Maybe I did give up too easily?"

"Tony..."

"No," Tony held up his hand. "Hear me out, Jethro. If I'd have found her first instead of Jason, then maybe I coulda got them both out."

"You knew what room she was in then when you went in?"

Tony shook his head, smiling ruefully.

Trust Gibbs to go right to the heart of it.

"No, but..."

"No buts, Tony." Gibbs interrupted firmly. He moved his hand up to squeeze Tony's shoulder. "Both of 'em woulda died if you hadn't been there. Jason was lucky, even if he doesn't always see it that way."

"My head knows that... the rest of me takes some catching up sometimes."

Tony remembered his words to the Chaplain in Columbia, that you can't keep piling the guilt up till you can't move.

Maybe one day he'd follow his own advice.

Tony straightened slightly and Gibbs moved his arm but remained sitting next to Tony on the bed.

"Still," Tony went on, "at least some good came out of that night in Baltimore... other than eventually meeting Wendy years later, or at least I thought it was good at the time. But lots of big decisions got made coz of that fire and Jason."

"You became a cop." Gibbs finished.

Tony shot him a grin. "And met you. Which you may or may not think is a good thing. Think how much quieter your life woulda been if I hadn't moved from Baltimore to join NCIS."

Gibbs chuckled. "And how boring."

Tony laughed. "Gee, that may be the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

"Don't let it go to your head."

Tony snorted before subsiding and sitting quietly for a few minutes and Gibbs could almost see the wheels turning. "Been over that night so many times. Don't think I'll ever stop feeling guilty."

Gibbs was silent for a while and when he went on, his voice was soft. "Took me years to admit it wasn't my fault for not being there for Shannon and Kels... Took me even longer to accept it."

Startled, Tony stared at Gibbs, taken aback that he was confiding something so private. He'd guessed at Gibbs' guilt enough times but hadn't heard him refer to it directly before.

How could anyone not feel guilty with what had happened?

But the whole subject of his girls was such a minefield that even now, after years of working out how best to navigate his way through it, Tony didn't find it easy not to put his foot right in it sometimes.

But he felt compelled to point out the obvious to the Marine, as so many others must have done over the years.

"You weren't even in the same country, Jethro."

Gibbs shrugged. "Didn't matter. Knew she was gonna testify... knew what was happening. Shoulda come back."

Suddenly catapulted into the middle of that minefield, Tony thought carefully before replying. "Then you might've all been killed."

Gibbs shrugged and Tony caught his breath, his gut churning at the clear implication of _So?_

It was a glimpse into the rawness of Gibbs' pain, of how he'd perhaps wanted nothing more than to join his girls for years. At a loss how to respond, Tony waited for Gibbs to go on.

"Didn't stop the guilt."

"You still think that?" Tony asked after a moment, not entirely sure if he was asking about the guilt for not being there or the wish to join his wife and daughter.

He wasn't sure he wanted the answer to the latter.

Gibbs didn't ask him to clarify, merely shook his head. He remained silent for a few minutes before continuing and when he did, he turned the focus back onto Tony.

"Don't let it fester, Tony... told ya before, you helped. Others didn't."

"I remember... Oprah, Gibbs style."

"Who?"

Tony glanced at Gibbs, ready to tease him for not knowing who she was until he saw the amused glimmer in the blue eyes. Tony nudged him, laughing and felt something ease inside him, grateful and amazed not for the first time how a functional mute could find just the right words at the right time to make such a difference.

Helped of course by the guy's overwhelming presence which Tony was acutely conscious of right now... the shoulder, arm and thigh next to his own where they sat side by side on the bed, the heat radiating off him so it almost burned Tony's skin.

"Thanks, Jethro."

"Any time, Tony."

He reached up to squeeze the back of Tony's neck before standing. "Get some sleep... Don't wanna be half asleep at work." Gibbs paused at the door and Tony saw the crooked grin break out. "That boss of yours is a demanding bastard."

Tony chuckled as the door closed behind Gibbs before saying softly, "He is that... and sometimes he's just what I need."

TBC...


	3. Chapter 3: Faintest of Embers

**Slow Burn**

A/N: Spoilers for _Playing With Fire_ and this chapter is again awash with bunnies from Kesterpan... her bunny canon is out of control... again.

* * *

**Chapter 3 – Faintest of Embers**

When he caught himself glancing across to the basement stairs for the third time in the past hour, Gibbs cursed inwardly in frustration and threw down the tool he was using and reached for his bourbon.

The stairs were empty.

Of course they were.

Tony was still in Naples with Ziva and Stan Burley.

So why he kept looking over towards the stairs as if he expected the familiar figure of his SFA to be in his usual place was beyond him... and only increased his already bad mood.

_You're going soft, Gunny. _

Ever since they'd hit a dead end at Dearing's company earlier today, not so much narrowly missing him but missing Dearing by almost a year, he had been in a foul temper. After the lead provided by his team's good work in Naples, he'd felt they were finally making progress in the case, until they'd been baulked... again.

So when Gibbs finally left the Navy Yard earlier to come home, he'd retreated to the basement to try to calm his mind, expecting the steady and familiar rhythm of working with his hands to work as it usually did. But even after making good progress on the table he was making for Leyla, his mind was still unsettled and the more he worked, the more tightly wound up he became.

Not helped by getting annoyed with himself for his almost unconscious glances towards the stairs as if expecting to see Tony sitting there or waiting to hear his voice.

It would be a familiar sight... and a welcome one.

Since his split with Wendy, Tony had gotten into the habit of spending more time here, provided Gibbs wasn't due to see Ryan, who inevitably came to his house.

...which was another thing that was pissing him off lately.

He still hadn't been to Ryan's house... or met Parker.

Every time they got together, it would be here in his house. And as much as it made it easier for him, it also showed that Ryan still didn't quite trust him. That she didn't want to open up to him... to let him in, while all the time digging away at him to do the same.

So, despite their relationship, Ryan wasn't Gibbs' first choice right now to help calm his mind. It was only likely to make it worse.

His friend was different.

Tony could read him. Knew his 'tells' better than Ryan did.

He knew what Gibbs needed. Sensed when Gibbs was happy to let his chatter wash over him or when he preferred quiet.

Somehow, over the years, Gibbs had gotten used to spending time with Tony outside work. And much more than that, he enjoyed his company.

And it was a disconcerting thought but while Tony and Ziva were in Naples, he'd... _missed_ him. Both at work, where his absence from the bullpen and at his side during the investigation was obvious.

He'd missed Tony's insights... and even his yabba yabba.

And now he seemed to be missing him here at home too.

_Jeez, Marine. _

Since when the hell did the way to centre himself start to become dependent on working in his basement _and _on Tony being present?

Since when did Tony become his safety net?

Over the years, they'd spent a lot of time down here together, most recently after the case with Jason King and then before that, picking apart their relationships with Wendy and Ryan... an evening when both men had been unusually honest with what was troubling them.

It had also been a night when Tony had startled him completely.

Gibbs still hadn't gotten his head round Tony's serious reaction to his remark about them sleeping together if they couldn't trust manipulative women. Gibbs had meant it as a joke but Tony's response had thrown him at the time.

But as they'd carefully avoided the subject ever since, it had allowed Gibbs to put the whole thing to the back of his mind.

Until now.

Surely Tony hadn't really meant it that way?

Tony thought of them as friends, right?

The same as he did.

Didn't he?

* * *

"Tony!"

Tony grunted, fielding the whirlwind as Abby flung herself at him where he and Ziva stood with Stan by the elevators. His mind was still on the end of the briefing they'd walked into, but Tony hugged her back, smiling at her enthusiastic welcome. Abby released him and hugged Ziva before launching herself at Stan, only just avoiding his arm still held in a sling.

"Stan... my man!"

"Hello, gorgeous. See," Stan held up his bandaged arm. "I'll do almost anything to get back to D.C. so I can see you again."

Tony only half listened to the subsequent conversation, tuning them all out. His eyes were fixed on Gibbs where he sat at his desk and Tony's practised eye took in the tense body language, rigid set to the jaw and the thundercloud brewing on the Marine's face.

_What the...? _

Tony watched Ziva walk to her desk and greet Gibbs but he merely gave her a curt nod before dropping his eyes back to the paperwork on his desk. Ziva frowned but used to Gibbs' moods, she settled at her desk without another word.

Tony's attention was drawn back as Abby slipped her arm through his, lowering her voice. "Tony, will you come see me before you go?"

Tony sighed, giving her a brief smile. "I'm really tired, Abbs. Can we catch up tomorrow?" He turned his gaze towards their desks again.

She tugged at his arm. "No, we can't. Tony... it's about Gibbs."

That got his attention and Tony whipped his head back to Abby, seeing the concern in the green eyes as she gnawed her lower lip. She glanced over at Gibbs before going on. "I'm worried about him, Tony. Please."

Tony nodded. "Sure, Abbs. I'll be down as soon as I can."

* * *

Later that afternoon, Tony leaned on the wall at the entrance to Abby's lab, smiling as he watched her familiar figure bustling about.

"Hello again, little lady."

Abby turned, smiling as she rushed over to wrap him in another bone-crushing but thankfully brief hug before grabbing his arm and dragging him into her office.

"Okay, okay... where's the fire?" Tony protested laughingly as she pushed him down into her chair, grabbing the remote and turning off her music and closing her office door.

Tony glanced between it and the dark haired woman as she sat on the edge of her desk, seeing her almost instant change of mood. "Okay, now I'm spooked. What's up?"

"I'm worried, Tony."

Her reply was quiet, her usual firecracker nature subdued and that worried him more than anything and before Abby could speak, Tony sat forward in the chair, taking her hand. "Yeah, I can see that, Abby... what is it? What about Gibbs?"

"I think he's going all Cap'n Ahab again."

It came out in a rush and it took Tony a second to register the words.

He squeezed her hand. "Tell me."

"I came in yesterday, early, you know, as usual and Gibbs was already here." Abby pointed. "He was sat over there, cleaning his gun."

"Well... he's an early bird too, Abbs." Tony shrugged.

"Yeah, I know, Tony but this was different. He was scary. All... broody." Abby waved her hands around in her agitation, leaping to her feet to begin pacing. "I mean really, really broody and he hardly looked at me, barely acknowledged what I was telling him. Gibbs never does that, Tony. He just got the results and shot outta here like his ass was on fire."

"Well, that sounds fairly normal. You know what he's like when he's focused."

Abby rolled her eyes, coming to a stop in front of him. "Yes, I know that, Tony, but I can tell the difference, you know I can and this was totally _not_ normal..." She heaved a frustrated sigh. "I'm not explaining this very well but it wasn't so much what Gibbs did but _how_ he did it... and he's been like that ever since. It's been like some horrible flashback to how Gibbs was when he was chasing Ari. It was that all over again."

Tony ran a hand over his hair. "Oh boy."

"Yeah, oh boy." Abby perched on the edge of her desk again. "C'mon, Tony. You've been up there with him all afternoon... you can see it too, can't you?"

Tony leaned forward, resting his arms on the desk, looking up at Abby. "Yeah... I see it."

He'd been watching Gibbs closely since they got back and it was obvious the guy was royally pissed off... barking and growling at anyone and over everything. McGee and Ziva had kept their heads down, wisely trying to stay under the Marine's radar.

Tony had put today's bad mood down to frustration at the lack of progress.

But he wasn't about to dismiss Abby's opinion.

She could speak 'Gibbs' too.

Between the two of them, they probably knew the Marine better than most, apart from Ducky, and they'd gotten into the habit over the years of confiding and relying on each other when something was off with Gibbs.

Anything to avoid a repeat of the tequila safari.

"You gotta do something, Tony." Abby nudged his shoulder, pulling him out of his musing "You can get through to him. I mean I know he's pissed coz Dearing wasn't there but this is way more than that. He's been even more of a grumpy bear than he usually is."

"Now, you mention it," Tony went on, "on the ship, he did go from interrogation mode one to four at warp speed."

He remembered it vividly. Even on a small laptop screen on the ship, a pissed off Gibbs was a sight to behold.

"Ooh, four... that's hot."

Tony snorted, glancing up to see her teasing smile. "Abby."

"Well, it is."

"Well, it certainly had an effect on our Petty Officer, who was singing like a lark within minutes. The Boss can be fairly intimidating even in miniature."

"Not to mention hot."

"Abbs." He shook his head, huffing a soft laugh, despite his best efforts.

"You know it is, Anthony DiNozzo."

Abby's mischievous grin was the one which usually had him torn between grinning back or running for the hills.

Abby was the only person who knew Tony was bi but as close as he and Abby were, he'd still never admitted his attraction to Gibbs. Nevertheless, from her occasional knowing smile or comment, Tony had a feeling Abby suspected something although, thankfully, she'd never pressed him on it.

Tony cleared his throat.

"Okay... moving on. I hear you, Abbs, but he doesn't need me..." He held up his hand as Abby made to speak. "What I mean is, sure, I can help at work. I can get in front of the bear, no problem. But at home. Well, he's got Dr Ryan to lean on now, hasn't he?"

Abby snorted. "Yeah, right. And if she was helping him, why is he in such a bad mood still, huh?"

Tony shrugged. "I dunno, Abbs. I wanna help him, you know I do but... isn't that what she's for... now they're a couple."

Tony tried not to choke on the word, ruthlessly pushing down the jealousy that had begun to rear up lately when he thought of what Gibbs seemed to have with Ryan... of how she might be the one Gibbs talked to now, if he talked at all.

They hadn't discussed anything to do with Ryan since that night in the basement a few weeks ago when Gibbs had admitted to liking her but not trusting her.

So Tony had assumed things were going well.

Gibbs kept so much close to his chest anyway that Tony doubted he'd have confided any further than he already did. Tony just had to hope that he'd pick up on anything really wrong with the guy.

But he hadn't.

"And you think she understands him enough to do that?" Abby pressed. "A woman who thinks she can get inside everyone's head by talking them to death, trying to help a guy who prefers not to talk if he can avoid it. Yeah, great recipe that is." Abby jumped off her desk again and started wearing another groove in the floor, gesturing as she paced. "I mean I get that she likes labels but you can't stick people in neat little categories like she does. She called me a mapper, even after I told her to get outta my head."

Tony chuckled. "You're lucky, Abbs. She thinks I'm a game show host."

As Ryan had said that to his face, it worried Tony what she might be saying to Gibbs behind his back. Not that he thought Gibbs would be influenced too much by what Ryan might say.

The guy made up his own mind but the last thing Tony wanted was to seem somehow _less_ in Gibbs' eyes.

Abby narrowed her eyes, throwing him a look. "That's just... insulting. And it proves she doesn't get you at all. _And_ she didn't even recognize one of Gibbs' aha moments in the lab, even though it was so totally obvious to me... and you'd have seen it too, Tony. So," Abby stopped in front of him again, hands on her hips, "you gotta do something before it gets any worse."

Tony gazed at her for a moment before shaking his head. "Geez, I've only been gone a few days, how could that happen?"

"Well, duh, Tony." Abby rolled her eyes. "See a connection between those things at all?"

"What?"

"Oh, Tony. You know how to handle Gibbs, how to deflect him and take the edge of that temper... okay, usually by sticking your head in the way, I'll give you that one." Abby dropped into a crouch in front of him, resting her hands on his knee. "But you balance him out."

Tony blinked at Abby slowly. "I do?"

Abby smiled gently. "You do. You know you do, Tony. And if you'd only stop doubting yourself for five minutes, you'd see it... and he balances you out too. Ying and Yang. You need each other and when one of you is away, it just all goes totally hinky."

Slightly stunned, Tony could only stare at Abby in silence.

Abby tilted her head, her smile widening. "Don't look at me like that, you know I'm right." She bounced to her feet, grabbing his hand and hauling him to his feet. "Now, go... shoo... go sort out Cap'n Ahab and find our Gibbs, coz I need him... and so do you."

"I do, huh?"

She unlocked her office door and turned back to him, her smile knowing. "Oh, I know you do... and you know I know you do, and I know you know I know you do."

"Okay, I get it." Tony laughed, holding up his hands and backing away, knowing Abby could go on for some time in the same vein given half a chance. "Alright, alright, I'm going."

* * *

Gibbs looked up as the expected figure started down the basement stairs, balancing a pizza box in one hand and clutching two beer bottles in the other.

"I'm starving. You hungry? I hope you're hungry."

"I could eat." Gibbs dropped the sanding block onto the workbench behind him, running a hand over the table top in front of him, testing for smoothness.

"Well, if you're not, I swear I could eat the whole thing. I've got my appetite back and I gotta tell ya, it was weird on that ship. I got seasick. Me? Seasick? I never get seasick... not even four months as Agent Afloat did I get even the slightest urge to lose my lunch. I think Probie must be rubbing off on me... but don't tell him that or I'll never hear the end of it."

Tony dumped the box on the workbench and Gibbs pulled up a sawhorse, taking one of the beers.

"You think Ziva won't tell him?"

Tony paused as he considered, smiling ruefully. "Fair point." Tony rummaged in the box for a slice of pizza and retreated to the stairs, grinning at Gibbs as he sat down.

He was relieved Gibbs had accepted his suggestion in the bullpen earlier. After his talk with Abby, he'd waited till the end of what felt like a very long day before stopping by the Marine's desk, waiting till he raised his head, the expression impatient and the blue eyes almost glaring.

"Pizza?" Tony had asked quietly.

Gibbs had stared at him unspeaking for a moment before Tony saw the expression soften. The barely perceptible nod was all Tony needed to bring a grin to his own face as he turned back to his desk.

So after work, he'd wasted no time in rushing back to his apartment to change and pick up pizza on the way to Gibbs' house.

Now, speaking round a mouthful of pizza, Tony went on. "Although strictly speaking, if my body's still on Naples time, then this should be breakfast." He waved the slice of pizza. "Maybe that's why I was seasick... it screwed with my body clock."

Gibbs titled his head in acknowledgement but didn't reply.

Tony watched Gibbs for a moment. "Stan's staying with Abby for a few days."

Gibbs quirked an eyebrow and Tony grinned.

"She insisted, said it'd be easier than fending for himself with only one arm... although I don't remember much protest coming from the man himself. She'll be able to let out her inner mother hen. Stan'll lap it up… who wouldn't?" Tony walked over for another slice of pizza, gesturing at the table. "S'looking good. Nearly finished?"

"Uh-huh. Varnish next."

"You wanna hand getting it over to Leyla's when it's done?" Tony offered, wandering back towards the stairs.

Gibbs nodded, sipping his beer. "About another week should do it." He glanced over at Tony. "She might even feed ya."

Tony smiled. "Then count me in... she's a terrific cook."

He went on to talk about Naples and gradually brought the conversation round to the case, agreeing next steps and Tony could see Gibbs gradually relaxing, the tension seeming to drain away, as the pizza disappeared. A while later, Tony munched on the last slice, looking round him at the familiar surroundings.

"You know... I gotta say, it's nice to be back. Although we were only away a few days, I kinda missed this old place, your couch, the fireplace, even that damn TV, the mason jars, the smell of sawdust… even missed you." He reached up to the back of his head, grinning. "Although the time away might've allowed any lingering concussion to fade and the permanent bump to go down."

Suddenly aware Gibbs was staring at him, Tony trailed off, slightly unnerved by the look he was getting. "What? Have I got pizza on my chin or something?"

Gibbs shook his head, looking down at the bottle he was cradling, a slight smile breaking out. "Glad you're here too, Tony."

Tony couldn't help the grin that spread across his face. "I'm glad I'm here too." He hesitated before plowing on. "Been worried about you... and I'm not the only one."

Gibbs looked up. "Abby."

"Yeah,," Tony nodded. "She's worried... and judging by how pissed you looked this afternoon, so am I."

"No need."

Tony sighed, standing up and walking towards Gibbs who watched him with a slightly curious expression as he approached. He rested a hand on Gibbs' shoulder. "Don't wanna have to change my name to Ishmael. I think Tony suits me better and Jethro definitely suits you better than Cap'n Ahab."

Gibbs shook his head, chuckling slightly at the reference. He was silent for a long moment, looking down at his hands and quoted quietly. "He piled upon the whale's white hump the sum of all the general rage and hate."

Tony smiled, dropping his hand and turning to lean back against the workbench. "Ah, 1956 classic, Moby Dick with Gregory Peck... and Orson Welles in a cameo role."

Gibbs looked up, rolling his eyes and Tony grinned, unrepentant as he went on. "Okay, okay... and from the Herman Melville book."

Gibbs took a deep breath, holding Tony's gaze. "Don't think Dearing's gonna be Moby Dick."

"I hope not, Jethro... Not like Ari," Tony replied, pleased Gibbs hadn't shut him down and dismissed his concerns. He'd half expected it.

A shadow passed across Gibbs' face. "No." He sipped his beer before conceding. "Not yet."

"Hey." Tony nudged Gibbs' arm. "Even if he is, I got your back... you know that, right?"

Gibbs stared at Tony for a moment before nodding. "I know."

TBC...


	4. Chapter 4: Fuel to the Fire

**Slow Burn**

A/N: Spoilers for _Up in Smoke._ Huge thanks for all the reviews and alerts and apologies if I've missed thanking anyone – I'm away on a dodgier connection at the moment and also FFNet seems to be having a bad hair day and making it difficult to respond, but I appreciate every one.

* * *

**Chapter 4 – Fuel to the Fire **

"_You smell like someone... who isn't you." _

Tony barely resisted the urge to head slap himself as his mind kept running over the remark he'd let slip earlier.

_Jesus, Anthony, did you have to go and blurt that out? _

_What the hell's the matter with you? Something must've gotten disconnected between your brain and and that big mouth coz saying you know what Gibbs smells like should've been the last thing you broadcast to the whole world... okay, maybe not to the whole world but it was bad enough I said it to these two people... two very observant people. _

_What the hell were you thinking? _

_When Gibbs slipped into the backseat of that damn car with the scent of flowers overlaying that addictive combination of sawdust and coffee that always makes your nerve endings hum, why did you have to announce it, like an idiot?_

_God knows what Gibbs made of it. _

_And in front of Ziva!_

She'd thrown him an oddly withering look at the time but had thankfully not brought it up since, which didn't mean she wasn't biding her time to hit him with it later. He had a sudden mental image of her face if she did know what his real feelings were for Gibbs. It might be one of the few times when he'd be able to render Ziva speechless.

So now, here he was, freaking out in his own shower.

Tony bent his head further under the spray, letting the hot water beat down on his neck and shoulders, hoping it would ease some of the tension knotting his muscles.

After it had all gone pear-shaped at the parking garage, a long evening had threatened to morph into an even longer night, until even Gibbs had recognized his team's exhaustion and sent them home. Hopefully a few hours sleep, some food and a change of clothes would help clear the brain.

But all it had done was let Tony brood about his slip and start to over-think another emotion that was growing stronger by the day.

Jealousy.

Specifically, jealousy over Dr Samantha Ryan's continuing relationship with Gibbs.

Tony had developed a dislike for the woman ever since she'd called him a game show host. The look in her eyes every time Ryan saw him seemed to convey her wariness of him, which he found puzzling, unless his reputation was preceding him... again.

But Ryan just unsettled him... and worried him.

Was Gibbs being influenced by Ryan's opinion of him?

But... Gibbs knew the real him, right?

Surely Gibbs wasn't going to change what he thought of him just because of Ryan? They'd worked together for a long time and that's what mattered, right?

And he couldn't remember Gibbs being led by the nose by a woman before.

And the jealousy?

He wasn't sure when it had begun. There wasn't a single incident that Tony could point to as the start of it, but the strength of that jealousy had taken him by surprise.

He was used to watching Gibbs' various relationships from the sidelines; this one with Ryan was only the latest in a long line.

So why was it different this time?

Was Ryan special in some way?

Was she likely to last longer or mean more to the Marine than the others? Judging by Gibbs' words the other week, he'd been having trouble trusting her, but maybe that had changed since then and things were now going well?

Maybe Ryan was the one Gibbs now confided in, the one he'd turn to and not Tony anymore?

Startled at the pain that thought triggered, Tony braced his hands on the shower wall for a moment as he forced his emotions down. Once he'd gotten himself under control again, he shut off the stream of water and climbed out, grabbing a towel off the rack and starting to dry off.

Not that he didn't want Gibbs to be happy.

Of course he did.

The guy had lived through a world of pain and deserved to be happy. There was just a little voice inside him shouting louder and louder as time went on that Tony wanted that happiness to be with him and not with... _her._

_Yeah... like that's ever gonna happen. Get a grip._

And then tonight, at the alternative bachelor party for Jimmy, all Tony could think about was how Gibbs looked as he played the role of a slightly drunk partygoer having fun.

Tony had barely been able to take his eyes of the guy's face as they'd all bantered, the crooked grin he loved so much breaking out more often than usual. And he thought his heart was going to seize in his chest when the blue eyes full of warmth met his for a brief moment when Tony called Gibbs, 'sniper.'

He'd had to look away, his heart pounding, everything below his belt tightening as he tried to keep his reaction under control, scared it was going to be written all over his face. He'd had to call on all his own undercover skills to try and cover the moment, turning to talk to Dorney as they kept an eye on Jimmy, who was the only guy he knew who could get tipsy on apple juice.

His longing for Gibbs had risen up all over again and with such strength, it floored him completely.

And, as he glanced down with a rueful smile, judging by the way his body was reacting now to the memory of Gibb's face, he was gonna have a hard time – _pun not intended, Anthony_ – getting himself under control again.

He'd spent so many years pushing away his feelings, hiding them away even from himself and tamping down on his attraction for Gibbs, that he thought he had it licked.

_I'm in charge, not my freaking libido. _

_And I had it all nicely packed away in my 'do not go there, Anthony,' box and now out it slithers... and it's worse than I thought._

He might as well face it.

He was never gonna get over Gibbs and it was far, far more than just a physical attraction.

He'd fallen for the guy, hard.

God help him, he loved him, as much more than just a friend.

And his timing sucked, as usual. They were in the middle of what promised to be a really rough case, Gibbs was in what looked like a long term relationship, and he had to pick now of all times to go all... mushy.

Well, there was only one thing for it. He really had to get his mouth and face under control before he said or did something that would make his feelings even more obvious.

He didn't want to alert Gibbs, especially since the guy would never return his feelings.

But if Gibbs did find out, there would go his job, his career and the best friendship of his life. He also had to avoid giving Ziva any more ammunition. The woman was like a bloodhound when she sniffed a secret.

Tony dropped the towel back on the rack and almost cringed as a thought struck him.

_Holy crap, what if I let something slip in front of Ryan?_

The woman would be on it like a limpet.

God, he was so screwed.

_Yeah, right... if only._

* * *

As the team worked through the night following Vance's kidnapping, hitting constant brick walls, Tony found himself keeping an increasingly anxious eye on Gibbs.

The Boss was pissed and worried, that much was obvious and understandable.

Dearing striking at the head of their agency to kidnap Director Vance wasn't something to be taken lightly or treated as just another case. So the whole team working like their asses were on fire was to be expected and with no progress being made as the night went on, the frustration was building.

It had been bad enough before, with Dearing appearing to blame Gibbs for what was happening, and no one knew why.

But this was something else, and Tony couldn't quite put his finger on it.

The guy looked wrung out and seemed almost rattled in his anger, which wasn't like Gibbs at all. Tony was used to the growly grizzly, but this looked more like a hurt and puzzled bear who was nearing the end of his tether.

And it was making all Tony's protective instincts for the man rise to the surface.

Eventually, an opportunity presented itself when both Ziva and McGee were out of the bullpen, and Tony wandered over to where Gibbs was perched on the edge of his desk, flicking through images on the plasma for the umpteenth time.

Gibbs spared him a brief glance as Tony came to a halt beside him but didn't speak.

"Everything okay... Cap'n Ahab?" Tony asked quietly after a few moments.

Tony felt Gibbs stiffen and braced himself for the mother of all head slaps, conscious of the visible effort Gibbs made to curb it. Tony eyed him steadily and Gibbs glared for a long moment before eventually nodding and pushing himself off his desk.

"My office."

Gibbs took off with his usual ground-eating stride towards the elevator and Tony hurried after him, slipping inside just before the doors closed. Tony barely managed a count of three before Gibbs reached across and flipped the switch.

Tony automatically steadied himself when the elevator shuddered to a halt, turning to face Gibbs as they were bathed in blue light. "Y'know, Boss, one of these days someone's gonna get stuck in here when this thing finally breaks down coz of all the abuse you've given it."

Tony expected another glare or an outburst of temper but instead, Gibbs leaned back against the far wall, head going back and eyes closing, breathing deeply as if trying to calm himself.

Tony waited him out and eventually Gibbs spoke, and Tony's gut twisted at the utter weariness in the tone when he expected impatient anger.

"Spit it out, DiNozzo."

"Something's bothering you, isn't it?" Gibbs' eyes snapped open but before he could retort, Tony went on, holding up a hand to forestall him. "I mean, other than the fact that we've lost the Director... I'll give you that one."

Gibbs stared at him for a moment, obviously debating with himself. When he spoke, Tony was stunned by what Gibbs said.

"I'm _this_ close to hauling in Dr Ryan for questioning."

Tony blinked and blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "What for?"

Gibbs waved his hand, gesturing vaguely around them. "Possible involvement in all... this."

"What the hell's happened, Gibbs?" Tony could see the tension in the way the Marine held himself.

The guy was wound up tighter than a spring.

"Think she's been holding something back." Gibbs shook his head. "There's something about the last few days... can't put my finger on it, but she may have known more than she let on."

Startled as much by what Gibbs said as the fact he was confiding in him, Tony listened as Gibbs outlined what had raised his suspicions… how he'd wondered how long Ryan had known about the defects on the Navy vessels and the link to Dearing before she told Gibbs… and the artillery shells theory which Gibbs had to prise out of her and then which proved to be wrong.

As Gibbs related his concerns, he ran through in his head what had driven him to confront Ryan tonight, where she seemed more concerned with being wrong than the implications for the case.

And Gibbs also felt totally off balance with how her mind games were still spilling over into their private life, and he was honest enough with himself to realize that that might be affecting his professional judgement.

He'd gotten mixed messages from Ryan throughout their relationship.

And their argument tonight had veered again into personal territory when he'd accused Ryan of not letting him in and she'd flung it back in his face. There was something else going on though, Gibbs was sure of it. Something concerning her ex-husband but again, she wouldn't let him help.

And Gibbs wanted to.

The situation was triggering all his protective instincts but there wasn't a lot Gibbs could do if Ryan didn't let him.

But the longer they were together, the more it became obvious that Ryan didn't understand him.

It was a small example but her comments about his basement showed she just didn't... get it. Didn't understand what that place meant to him and didn't seem to want to try and understand him. His basement was not a place to 'marinade in it', as she put it. It was somewhere Gibbs could get his head on straight.

But his feelings weren't important.

Not now.

Not with Leon was missing.

His phone call to Jackie earlier, to tell her there was still no news of her husband echoed through his head. Jackie was a strong woman but Gibbs could hear the strain in her voice as she described telling the kids their father was missing.

As soon as they discovered Vance was missing, he'd sent extra protection to the house, in case Jackie and the kids were on Dearing's radar too. But nothing could take away the private worry over a missing husband and father.

Gibbs turned his head to watch Tony working through what he'd told him.

"Wow. I can see why you'd be worried." Tony paused briefly. "But... are you sure?"

"No, goddammit!" Gibbs slammed his hand against the elevator wall. "I'm not sure."

_Okay... asking difficult questions in confined spaces with an angry bear may not have been your best idea, DiNozzo._

At the risk of getting within swinging range, Tony stepped closer. He was silent for a moment as he considered how best to handle this, pushing down the anger at Ryan for so clearly throwing Gibbs off kilter like this, at a time when he needed his focus.

"Okay, what does your head say?"

"That something's... hinky."

Tony smiled at Gibbs' use of the word. "And your gut? Does your gut think she's really involved?"

The blue eyes that turned his way were full of emotion and Tony caught his breath at the rarely seen vulnerability on Gibbs' face. "Can't believe she would be." Gibbs shook his head.

_And your heart?_

The thought raced through Tony's head but he didn't voice it.

"I thought Vance was her friend," Tony stated after a few moments.

"He is." Gibbs nodded.

"Then d'ya really think she could be involved with kidnapping him?"

Gibbs ran his hand over his face, sighing. "Don't wanna believe it... I just feel like I'm being played half the time."

Gibbs was silent for a few seconds and Tony could see him debating with himself. When he spoke again, Tony was surprised by what Gibbs was sharing. "Leon warned me not to trust her. So did Rachel."

"Wow, did she?"

"Yeah... maybe I shoulda listened?" Gibbs admitted wryly.

"Maybe." Tony smiled briefly. "Hindsight's a wonderful thing where women are concerned, but you don't need me to tell you that. Okay... let's work it through. I mean I get that she could be involved from all you've said, especially coming on top of what you said she did while we were in Columbia but... you know her better than any of us. Would she have been able to fool you for so long, huh? You're better at reading people than anyone I know, Gibbs."

"But I can't read her... She's just..." Gibbs turned to lean his arms on the railing running round the elevator, his head bowed. When Gibbs spoke again, his voice was so raw that Tony just wanted to wrap his arms around him and try and take away all the hurt. "I can't read her, Tony."

Tony turned to lean back against the wall next to Gibbs, folding his arms. "Well, if you can't... it doesn't give much hope for the rest of us, does it?"

Gibbs huffed a soft laugh, glancing up at Tony. "No... guess not." He pushed off the railing and straightened, standing next to Tony.

Tony held his gaze, feeling at a loss to how to help Gibbs but wanting so much to try. "But if we do have to bring her in, then okay, I'm right here... right on your six, you know that, right?"

Tony was conscious he was risking opening a can of worms and paused, unsure if he should go on but eventually figured, _what the hell_...

He reached out to rest a hand on Gibbs' shoulder. "On and off the job I got your back, whatever the hell she's up to, just remember that."

Gibbs gazed at him for a moment before his expression softened and he nodded, a small smile curving his mouth. "Yeah, I know... Thanks, Tony."

"Any time, Jethro." Tony cleared his throat and straightened before he did something else too... sappy. "And if we have to haul Dr Ryan into interrogation, maybe it'll be a new experience for her, being interrogated by a game show host."

Tony reached for the switch to set the elevator in motion again, only to be stopped by Gibbs' hand on his arm. When he looked back, Tony's gut tightened at the concern on Gibbs' face.

Gibbs squeezed his arm. "Don't let her mind games drive you crazy, Tony."

Tony stared at him for a moment before chuckling, "Gotcha... coz that's your job, right?"

Gibbs grinned. "You got that right."

Tony flicked the switch and set the elevator on its way again, sneaking a sideways look at Gibbs and watched as the usual mask slipped over his features, his posture straight and the natural air of command settling on his shoulders where it belonged.

_If only Gibbs knew just how crazy he did drive him..._

TBC...


	5. Chapter 5: Baptism by Fire

**Slow Burn**

A/N: Spoilers for _Till Death Do Us Part… _and everything else in this chapter you can blame on Kesterpan's bunny farm.

* * *

**Chapter 5 – Baptism by Fire**

As Dr Ryan moved forward to hug Parker, Tony looked beyond them to where Gibbs stood by the cars, his blue eyes fixed on mother and son. Tony could see the signs of tension in Gibbs' body language and felt a rush of sympathy for the guy.

For some reason, the scene struck Tony as almost a lonely image, as if Gibbs was being excluded from the family moment.

It had been a nightmare 24 hours.

The only positive being that Director Vance was now safe after bizarrely and rather creepily waking up next to a corpse.

Well, perhaps not the only positive, if he was allowed a mental diversion into the personal for a moment.

Tony didn't underestimate what it meant that Gibbs had opened up to him about his worries over Ryan. For a functional mute to not only confide in Tony but listen to him as a trusted friend and then in the midst of his distraction, to recognize Tony's own insecurities and seek to reassure _him_ was… huge.

But now there'd been this threat to Dr Ryan's son.

Leaving Ziva to finish up with the local LEOs, Tony made his way over to Gibbs, who glanced at him briefly as he arrived. "Anything useful?"

Tony shook his head. "Not from the kid, no, Boss. He says he didn't see or hear anything. A couple of the other kids saw the car though and from the description of the driver, it looks like a pretty good fit for Dearing... _and_ he was alone. It seems Dearing's doing his own dirty work now."

Gibbs nodded briefly. "Makes it more personal."

"Yeah, it would," Tony agreed. "And he certainly got Dr Ryan's attention," Gibbs shot Tony a look but didn't comment, "but then I guess something like this would scare the crap out of any parent. Kid doesn't seem too affected by it, which I guess is a good thing, right? Anyway, he's been too busy flirting with Ziva, who was at the grinding her teeth and looking around for a paperclip stage by the end of it, which is never a good sign, as you know."

Gibbs' mouth twitched at the corner and Tony counted that as progress as he went on. "Parker seems to like being the centre of attention though but then any kid would, I guess. At least he'll have a few tales to tell to his school friends."

When Gibbs didn't reply, Tony watched mother and son for a few moments before looking around at the usual bustle of a crime scene. "D'ya think Dearing would've followed through on his threat?"

Gibbs shrugged, his eyes not leaving Ryan and Parker. "Hard to tell."

"Hopefully the call was just that... a warning and a reminder of what he can do." Tony watched Parker gesturing animatedly as he related something to his mother. Tony nodded in their direction. "Kid seems to have a lot of self confidence... either that or he's covering it well."

"His mother's son." Gibbs' words were so quiet, Tony could barely hear them and wondered if the older man was almost talking to himself.

Not sure how to respond to that, Tony felt safer changing the subject.

"Still, at least we know for sure now, right, Boss? That Dr Ryan's not involved in all this. That must put your mind at rest a bit."

Gibbs sighed tiredly, nodding. "Yeah, guess it should."

Tony stared at Gibbs, wondering at the choice of words.

_Should, not does? _

He opted for a neutral question, pushing down his worry for the Marine with difficulty. "D'ya want me to organize a car for them both, Boss, take 'em to your place?"

Gibbs shook his head and his voice was wry. "No. Expect they'll go home. I doubt Parker wants to be somewhere he's never been before, with a guy he only met today."

With that, Gibbs walked off towards Ryan and Parker, leaving Tony to frown after him, trying to absorb this new information about Dr Ryan.

They'd been dating for months, so how come Gibbs had only just met her son?

* * *

Dr Ryan was gone.

Tony gazed almost blankly at his computer screen, trying to process the briefing Gibbs had just completed and its implications.

Whatever strings Dearing had pulled to spring Dr Ryan's ex out of jail had had a dramatic and immediate effect on the woman.

Tony may not have liked Ryan but he felt nothing but sympathy for her now. He could only imagine the kind of fear that could have caused someone as outwardly confident as Dr Ryan to just abandon her life like that.

Whatever the problem was with her ex-husband, it must have been pretty terrifying and the obvious assumption would be some kind of physical abuse... of mother alone, or mother and son?

That was anybody's guess, although he assumed Gibbs must know some of it. But Parker didn't look or behave like an abused kid... he was too self confident and cocky for that.

Although it might explain Ryan's jumping jack personality and need for control.

But whatever the crime, it had been enough to land her ex in jail, and was enough to make Ryan flee now.

And it wasn't even a wait and see what her ex did, kind of reaction. It was an instant run for the hills. She'd taken her son and gotten the hell out of Dodge, leaving behind her work, her home, her kid's school and his friends, her life... her lover.

But why didn't she let Gibbs try to help her?

In a crisis, there was no one Tony trusted more. Gibbs would be the first person he'd turn to if he needed help... had done so more times than he could count.

So after several months of them being together, surely Ryan had learned that much about the Marine? This ex must be one scary son of a bitch if Ryan thought the situation was beyond even Gibbs.

A part of Tony also felt ashamed and mean that he was pleased that Ryan was gone. But did it mean that their relationship was over too, or just on hold?

_Jeez, what a mess._

The Marine' protective instincts were strong and if Ryan had rejected his help, Gibbs must be hurting. Not that you'd have known it during the briefing. Gibbs' mask had been firmly in place throughout, before the Marine headed out of the bullpen in the direction of the break room.

At the risk of incurring his wrath, Tony had to see if Gibbs was okay.

His mind made up, Tony rummaged in his desk drawer to dig out his lunch. Ignoring Ziva's warning look to leave well enough alone, Tony headed for the break room to find Gibbs on his own, sitting at the table, sipping coffee and staring into space.

_God... things must be serious if he's drinking this swill._

Tony poured himself his usual coffee mixture and sat down next to Gibbs, pushing one of the sandwiches in his direction across the table.

Gibbs looked down at the sandwich and then up at Tony, raising an eyebrow.

Tony smothered a smile, shrugging as he removed the wrapping from his sandwich. "Figured you hadn't had time to eat today so got double rations. Gotta keep your strength up."

Gibbs smirked, just a little, and something inside Tony eased at the sight. "Yes, mom."

Tony snorted, almost choking as he took a large bite out of his sandwich. "You know I'm right. Now just eat up... dear."

Tony grinned as Gibbs rolled his eyes before unwrapping the sandwich and taking a bite. They ate in companionable silence for a while and Tony was sipping the last of his coffee before he spoke again.

"I'm very sorry about Dr Ryan."

Gibbs didn't reply, merely shooting him a glance but it was too brief for Tony to get more of a handle on it, but he didn't seem angry at Tony for asking.

"Her ex must be a pretty scary guy to make her leave town like that. She wouldn't be persuaded to go into protective custody, with Parker?"

Gibbs rubbed his hand over his face, shaking his head. "Nope."

The speed with which Ryan left had surprised him.

Gibbs knew how unsettled she'd been after the scare with Parker yesterday, but he hadn't figured on this reaction to Dearing's next play. Gibbs couldn't help feeling upset and more than a little responsible that Ryan didn't feel safe enough with him to risk staying.

But there was also some part of Gibbs that felt relieved that Ryan had left. Maybe now he could concentrate on his job for a while instead of having his head messed with every time they were in the same room.

And Gibbs felt equally guilty about feeling that relief.

Tony's voice brought him out of his thoughts and Gibbs turned his attention to his friend, touched by the support so clearly being offered... surprising himself yet again how at ease he felt with that.

It reminded him of the other day in the elevator. Gibbs wasn't sure what had possessed him to open up like that about Ryan, to let himself be vulnerable in front of Tony.

But it had felt... right... at the time.

And still did.

There was always something settling about Tony's unconditional support and understanding, which was a stark contrast to how Ryan made him feel.

"Maybe she's been looking after herself for a while now and finds it difficult to let someone else do it, even if she shouldn't have to... even if that's our job?" Tony ventured.

Gibbs shrugged. "Maybe. DoD agents'll help get her and Parker safe." He sipped his coffee, grimacing at the taste.

Tony chuckled. "I could go for some of the decent stuff if you want? Or stuff you call decent and the rest of us call road tar."

Gibbs shook his head, smiling briefly. "No time... How you doing with Cole back on the scene?"

Tony allowed him the change of subject, not wanting to push too hard.

"Okay, I guess... He's not my first choice of who I'd like to see back in the building." Tony looked down at his coffee. "It brings up some stuff I'd rather forget, but hey... if it's necessary, it's necessary. And it made sense to try and lure Dearing out like that, even if it didn't work at the coffee shop."

Tony been taken aback when he'd suddenly seen Cole being escorted through the bullpen and had felt unsettled for a while, despite understanding why the guy was here. But the whole thing had happened so fast that he hadn't had time to think about it too much yet...and if Gibbs thought Cole could be a useful tool, then that was fine with him.

"Dearing's one step ahead all the time so far. Gotta turn that around, Tony."

"We do," Tony agreed, gathering up their sandwich wrappers and dumping them in the trash.

He turned back to Gibbs. "And if it means involving Cole in whatever it takes, Boss, then bring it on. I'll be happy to involve whoever you like... hell, I'd welcome even Trent Kort." Tony paused, considering. "Well, okay maybe not Trent Kort... happy and Kort don't belong in the same sentence but Cole? Yeah, if it means we can end this with Dearing, without further bloodshed."

TBC…


	6. Chapter 6: Ashes to Ashes

**Slow Burn**

A/N: Spoilers for _Till Death Do Us Part. _Also a change in canon – I'm ignoring the phone call to Ziva from Eli in the elevator, partly because I need to or the scene below wouldn't have worked, and also coz I never bought that they could have got a signal in that elevator, and certainly not when most of the cell towers in the area were probably overloaded anyway.

* * *

**Chapter 6 – Ashes to Ashes**

"_... without further bloodshed."_

Those words from earlier in the day echoed in Tony's head as he sat slumped on the floor in the stifling heat of the elevator.

God knows how many hours he'd been trapped in here with Ziva after the bomb went off but right now, it felt like a week. But the longer they were stuck and the more they didn't hear any news on their phones, the more convinced Tony became that Gibbs was dead.

He'd tried not thinking about that and that didn't work too well... and now it was _all_ he could think about.

And how many others were dead?

Vance's car had been parked right out front and from the way the explosion had rocked the elevator, for all he knew, half the front of the building may have been destroyed.

Were Abby, McGee and Vance among the injured... or dead?

How many other co-workers and friends were badly hurt or gone?

At least Ducky and Jimmy were safely out of harm's way. It was a small crumb of comfort, no more.

Ziva hadn't talked about the team either but Tony was pretty certain she was deliberately avoiding the subject, just like he was, because the worst case scenario was just too horrible to contemplate.

It was almost like if they talked about it, that would make it real.

But however he looked at it, Tony couldn't imagine any other outcome than that Gibbs and Cole had been killed when the bomb went off outside the NCIS building.

He'd seen the two of them headed for Vance's car as he and Ziva left the bullpen to help with the evacuation. So unless they'd managed to get the bomb out of the car and themselves to a safe distance, there was no way Gibbs would have walked away from that car, even if the bomb was counting down under his nose.

He'd have been right there at the car to the very end.

It would be a very Gibbs thing to do.

And the thought that Gibbs could be dead caused an overwhelming grief to rise up and nearly choke him.

So his thoughts spiralled around in ever decreasing circles until Tony thought he was going to freak out, any second now.

Banging noises and the door opening a crack startled Tony out of his morbid thoughts and when it widened to reveal Abby's smiling face, he felt relief bubbling up at the sight of his friend.

Crawling forward with Ziva, he joined in the laughing admonishment as Abby went into one of her familiar rambles but Tony had to agree with his partner, he'd never been more glad to see Abby's gorgeous face.

And never had he been more thankful to see her smiling.

A sliver of hope was uncurling inside him as he took in her wide grin and listened to her babbling.

There was no way Abby would look that cheerful if Gibbs was... not okay.

Sliding out of the elevator after Ziva, Tony waited until she'd been swallowed up in an enthusiastic Abby hug and when the two women separated, Tony tugged Abby into his arms. Her own came around him and squeezed tightly as she hung on and for once, Tony didn't protest at the stranglehold which closed off his airways but relished the warmth of his friend.

Tony waited until Ziva had walked away with the rescue guys before pulling back to examine Abby's face. She was covered in dust and dirt, her pigtails askew but she looked unhurt, except for... Tony tilted her neck, noting the bandage covering the pale skin but Abby cut him off before he could say anything.

"It's fine, Tony... it's just a cut."

"So glad you're okay. Is..." he broke off, his voice failing him.

He felt her hands cup his face and Abby smiled up at him, leaning in to murmur. "He's okay. Gibbs is okay, Tony."

Tony swallowed around what felt like a boulder in his throat and he hugged Abby close again, closing his eyes as the relief washed over him, needing more than a moment to calm down after the strain of the past few hours.

Abby's arms came around him again, holding him close. "McGee's at the hospital but he's gonna be just fine. He got cut by flying glass but it's only a few stitches. Leon is okay too."

Tony pulled back. "What happened? I thought Gibbs'd be by the car."

Abby's smile was bright, even as her eyes filled with tears. "He saved me, Tony. He came back into the building... left the car. I mean, it was right outside my window… I didn't even know," she finished in a whisper.

Tony tugged her back into another hug, rubbing his hands soothingly up and down her spine. "No way you could, Abbs. It all happened so fast."

"Cole persuaded Gibbs to go back in when they saw me through the window. Like… everyone else is heading outta the building but Gibbs came back in. He rescued me." Tony cupped her cheek, smoothing a smudge of dirt off the pale skin as she went on, her voice small and quiet as she bit her lip. "I might not be here if he hadn't, Tony."

Tony rested his forehead against hers as he took it all in. "Sounds like you saved him too, Abbs. If he hadn't come in to get you..."

"I know, Tony. That's been going around in my head ever since. He was already my superhero before but after this..." Abby waved her arms. "I mean, not that you're not my superhero too, you know that, right?"

Tony chuckled. "Glad to hear it." He kissed her forehead. "Was worried about you... both of you. Hell, I was even worried about McGoo."

"I know," Abby smiled fondly at him, tilting her head. "And Gibbs has been worried about you too. We all have, wondering how badly damaged the elevator was, but Gibbs has been pacing about like a grizzly bear, growling at everyone to get that door open and get you both outta there."

"Where is he?"

"Here."

Tony's head snapped up at sound of that familiar voice.

Never had that deep voice sounded so good or the sight that greeted him as he turned around so welcome.

Gibbs was standing at the end of the corridor, covered in dust, his face drawn and tired but the relief on his face obvious.

Tony walked towards Gibbs, eyes locked on his, not caring what his own face might be revealing. When he came to a halt in front of Gibbs, he felt his vision blurring as his eyes filled with tears and when he spoke, his voice was hoarse.

"I thought you were dead."

Tony stepped forward, letting his emotions get the better of him, and pulled Gibbs into a fierce hug, expecting resistance or, at the very least, tension so he was more than a little surprised when the Marine's arms came around him and hugged him back... hard.

Tony let his forehead drop to Gibbs' shoulder as he drew in a few ragged breaths, trying to get himself under control. He felt Gibbs' hand come up to squeeze the back of his neck...

... both men oblivious to a softly smiling Abby standing watching them at the end of the corridor. She nodded once to herself before turning to walk away.

Eventually, Tony pulled back from the hug, laughing shakily and scrubbing at his face. "Boy... the dust in here sure makes your nose run and eyes water, Boss."

Gibbs smiled softly. "Sure does, DiNozzo."

Tony held his breath as they stared at one another for a long moment, seeing that Gibbs' eyes were suspiciously bright too. He expected Gibbs to pull his hand away any second, but the older man seemed unconcerned that it had slid around to the side of his neck, his thumb now grazing Tony's jaw.

Gibbs' eyes roamed over his face and Tony saw him struggling with something before he eventually spoke. "Thought any minute I was gonna hear that elevator fall."

Tony smiled. "It wouldn't dare... not with the Ninja on board. Looks like it held up to all the abuse you've given it pretty well too."

Tony had meant it as a joke to lighten the moment but instead, he saw Gibbs flinch and felt the hand tighten briefly on his neck. Momentarily startled, Tony stepped closer again. "Hey, you weren't thinking about that, were ya? I mean I know I tease you about all the emergency stops but I really doubt it was a factor in what happened."

"Crossed my mind," Gibbs admitted after a moment.

"Gibbs, don't go there, 'kay? We're both fine. Well, except that Ziva's cranky from being stuck in there with me." He rested a hand on Gibbs' shoulder, feeling the tension in the muscles and squeezed reassuringly. "Abby told me about McGee... he really gonna be okay?" Tony asked, feeling a change of subject would be good.

Gibbs nodded, finally letting his hand fall and Tony missed the warm contact immediately. "Yeah... Tim didn't realize he was injured at first. Hospital's fixing him up now."

Tony reached up to turn Gibbs' head, seeing the blood on his ear. "And you?"

Predictably, Gibbs shrugged it away. "It's nothing."

"Coulda been a lot worse. Abby told me what happened. Stuck in there, I was so sure you were at the car until..." Tony trailed off, unable to even finish the thought.

Gibbs shook his head. "Cole stayed at the car. We saw Abby was still in her lab. She was just yards away from it, Tony. Didn't even know the bomb was in the car. She had no idea how much danger she was in."

Gibbs drew in a deep breath and Tony's heart ached for the terrible choice his friend had been faced with. Tony cleared his own throat against the upsurge of emotion, at the realization of how close he'd come to losing two people he loved.

"And you went back for her."

"Yeah." Gibbs nodded. "Cole insisted I did too, which... surprised me."

"Wow." Tony ran a hand over his head as he processed everything. "Then I guess this time I owe him a big thank you, for saving you... and Abby."

"Yeah, me too but he didn't make it."

Tony stared at him for a moment. "How many more didn't make it?

"Too many." Gibbs shook his head and Tony saw his jaw clenching. "They're still doing a body count... even more injured at the hospital."

Tony blew out a breath. "Helluva day, and I gotta tell you, Gibbs, it's not right up there in my top five."

"No kidding."

"At least Ducky and Jimmy are safely out of it and having a good time, hopefully. Has anyone gotten through to let 'em know, though I guess the phones are down... we couldn't get a signal in the elevator and believe me, I tried." Tony saw the pain flash across Gibbs' face and stumbled to a verbal halt. "What?"

Gibbs swallowed hard and Tony thought he'd never seen him look so... defeated. "Dispatch called Ducky to tell him. He had a heart attack."

Tony felt the shock of that hit him.

_What the hell else was gonna happen today?_

"Oh, jeez... d'ya know how he is. Abby didn't mention it."

"She doesn't know, not yet. None of 'em do. Palmer's with him. I just got off the phone with him. They're gonna operate tomorrow but he's made it this far."

"Ducky's a tough old bird. I'm sure he'll be okay... gotta think positive, right?" Tony reached out to rest a hand on Gibbs' arm, waiting till he nodded.

They stared at one another for a few more seconds until Tony cleared his throat, conscious he was close to embarrassing himself again by pulling Gibbs in for another hug.

"Guess we better get back to work."

Gibbs nodded. "Lots to do. Can you get Ziva and Abby together in the bullpen and I'll tell 'em about Ducky after I've told Vance."

"D'ya want me to tell 'em?" offered Tony.

"I'll do it." Gibbs paused. "Will you take Abby home later? Don't want her to be alone."

"Sure, Gibbs." Tony nodded. "Probably not a good idea to let her brood on... _stuff_. But who's gonna babysit you?"

Gibbs rolled his eyes. "Fornell's hovering like a mother hen already."

Tony chuckled at the mental image. "Okay, I'll leave you in charge of that one. Right, let's get this show on the road, shall we?" Tony turned to go as Gibbs nodded and then he paused to look back at Gibbs. "Scared the crap outta me, Jethro. Thought I'd lost you there... for more than a second."

Gibbs blinked slowly. "Thought the same, Tony."

TBC...


	7. Chapter 7: Spark to a Flame

**Slow Burn**

A/N: Spoilers for _Extreme Prejudice_. This chapter is set later in the evening, the same day as the bombing.

* * *

**Chapter 7 – Spark to a Flame**

Fresh from the shower and continuing to towel dry his hair, Tony walked into Abby's kitchen to see the woman herself seemingly lost in thought standing at the counter, arms folded around herself. Tony paused on the threshold, taking in her body language; her shoulders were slumped and Abby managed to look a lot smaller than her usual tall frame.

It was a neat trick but a dead giveaway as to her mood.

Tony draped the towel around his neck and moved over to Abby, who jumped slightly as he appeared at her side.

She threw him a wan smile. "Hey, you feeling better? You look… squeaky clean."

"Yup, nothing like a hot shower. Best invention known to man or woman in a crisis." After today, his suit would need the dry cleaners at the very least or maybe even trashing.

"You mean other than Ben and Jerry?"

"Okay, I'll give you that one although Gibbs would probably vote for coffee as being the fuel of life." Tony grinned. He looked her over carefully, reaching up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "You look better too."

Which was true, in a way.

Abby had taken first go at showering off the dirt and dust of the day and was now in comfy sweatpants and a T-shirt, her hair still damp and loose around her shoulders and face scrubbed clean. She just looked drawn and tired now, and was probably about as exhausted as he felt.

Now the initial rush of adrenaline that had fuelled them all day was subsiding, it had left him feeling physically drained but with his mind still whirling with terrible images from the day… as well as beginning to dwell on what might have happened today and what they so nearly lost.

At least he was in clothes that didn't release a cloud of dust every time he moved, having now changed into the spare sweatpants and sweatshirt he usually kept at Abby's apartment for their movie nights.

Abby rolled her eyes. "I look a mess."

Tony tilted his head as if considering. "Well, I gotta say it's not your best look, if I gotta choose. Now that little black skirt with the white shirt and the tie in the pocket, now that's hot. Your very best schoolgirl gone very bad look and one of my personal favourites… especially with the big boots with those buckles and the belt with the chains."

Abby swatted his shoulder but he was rewarded with a soft laugh. Tony grinned back before turning Abby gently towards him and tilting her head so he could see her neck, but she forestalled any comment he was about to make.

"It's okay, Tony. I put a fresh bandage on, it's perfectly clean now."

"Good, coz that other one was covered in crap by the end of the day." Tony sniffed the air. "Something smells good."

"It's nearly ready." Abby turned back to the oven. "I was just gonna take it out… you want coffee or a beer?"

"Beer would be good." He peered into the oven, seeing the lasagne bubbling away inside before glancing back up at Abby. "You know we coulda done takeout? I mean not that I'm complaining coz I love your cooking and I know it relaxes you, Abbs, but you're tired enough tonight without doing this."

Abby shrugged and opened the fridge to take out two bottles. "Easy enough. Straight from the freezer to heat up and…" she paused, gnawing her lip, "well, it gave me something to do while you were in the shower. I can't just… sit and relax right now. I can't seem to sit and just… I can't."

Tony straightened up and took the bottles from her, popping the caps. "I know, Abbs. I'm feeling a little jittery myself."

Even on a good day, he'd never known Abby sit still for long and just do _nothing_. They were alike in that respect.

And after the hell they'd all been through today, it was a wonder she wasn't vibrating out of her skin by now. He suspected the lower than usual intake of caffeine and the exhaustion Abby was obviously feeling were partly toning down her usual warp speed nervous system.

He knew the feeling.

All he wanted to do was eat, curl up on Abby's couch and sleep the week away… if only he could stop worrying about Gibbs.

"D'ya think Ducky will be okay?" Abby asked quietly as she opened the oven door and took out the lasagne, her hands protected by her skeleton oven gloves that on any other day always made Tony smile. "I'm so worried about him."

Tony waited until she'd let go of the hot dish before stepping up and slinging an arm around her shoulders. He brushed her damp hair back from her face and pressed a kiss to her temple. "So am I... we just gotta stay positive, if we can."

"I know... it's just... it's hard, Tony."

"As I told the Bossman, he's a tough old bird." Tony reached for plates and silverware, as familiar with Abby's kitchen as he was with his own. "And I'm sure Jimmy'll update us tomorrow."

Abby nodded as she dished up their food. "I know… it's just he's so far away. I mean I now it wouldn't make any difference. I couldn't help much even if I did see him but just seeing Ducky for myself, it makes it easier somehow than what my imagination is conjuring up… and I just hate waiting, you know that. Is there nothing and nowhere Dearing can't reach? And poor Jimmy… and poor Breena."

"Yeah, helluva way to start married life…. Not that I would know what's a good way to start married life. For that you'd need Gibbs. Well… for all of a couple of weeks anyway."

That got him a smile and Tony went on as he took a seat at her kitchen table. "Although obviously I'm not counting Shannon in that… the one and only."

Abby placed a heaped plate in front of him, ruffling his hair fondly. "Sit… behave yourself."

He batted her hand away and tried to smooth his hair down. "Hey… why should I start now?"

"Yeah, I guess that's asking a bit too much."

Tony grinned at her as Abby rolled her eyes and joined him at the table. He fell silent as he tucked into his food, keeping an eye on Abby, who'd gone worryingly quiet again. She only picked at her food and Tony had the feeling she wouldn't have bothered much if he hadn't been here to make sure she did at least eat something.

When she finally pushed her plate away with only half of it eaten, Tony asked, "You gonna eat that?"

Abby shook her head. "You go ahead, Tony. You're a growing boy… just don't grow too much, okay, coz I love you just as you are."

"Of course you do, I'm very lovable." He watched as she pushed herself to her feet. "You heading for Ben and Jerry?"

Abby pulled a face. "Maybe not tonight… don't think it'd be a good mixture and I'm not really hungry anyway. You want some?"

"Nah, I'll stick with this… and things must be serious if you're refusing ice cream." He pushed away his empty plate and started on Abby's leftovers. "This is really good."

Abby hugged Tony from behind as she passed. "Thanks for coming with me tonight, Tony, but you didn't need to, really."

Tony reached up to pat her arm. "You shouldn't be alone, Abbs. Besides Gibbs asked me to."

He smothered a smile as he played his ace in the usual 'how to get Abby to accept being fussed over' argument, knowing what her reaction would be.

"Did he? Aw, that's so sweet." She squeezed again before releasing him and heading over to the coffee pot. "Coffee?"

"Please."

While Abby made them coffee, Tony finished up the rest of the food and then followed her through to the living room, where he found her curled up on a corner of the couch, holding her mug.

He wished he could cheer her up… take that sad, defeated look off her face.

Earlier in the bullpen, Abby had taken the news about Ducky very badly. Her face had crumpled on being told of Ducky's heart attack and Tony's heart ached for her. Gibbs had pulled Abby into a hug and she'd clung to the Marine, her shoulders heaving as she tried to stifle her sobs.

Tony had stepped close to the pair, rubbing a hand on Abby's back as he caught and held Gibbs' gaze. They'd stared at one another over the top of Abby's head and Tony found himself mesmerised by the blue eyes, trying to read the swirling emotions that for once Gibbs wasn't bothering to hide.

Tony shook himself out of his memories and settled on the couch next to Abby, picking up his mug from the table and sipping the hot liquid before sitting back with a sigh.

Abby leaned forward to dump her mug on the coffee table before sliding nearer and leaning against his side, resting her head on his shoulder.

"You should try and get some sleep, Abbs."

"Yeah, well, that's easier said than done, you know that. I've a feeling that every time I close my eyes tonight, I'm just gonna keep seeing and hearing… and feeling the… kaboom." She waved her hands.

"I know."

Tony wasn't sure he'd be able to take one of Gibbs' emergency stops in the elevator for a while without reliving the fear that had gripped him when the bomb went off and the cart juddered to a halt, trapping himself and Ziva inside, debris raining down on them both.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Abby gestured at his cellphone on the coffee table. "You gonna phone him, Tony?"

Tony sighed. "Abbs..."

He didn't need to guess who Abby meant by 'him.'

At the Navy Yard and in the car on the way here, she'd nagged him about calling his dad. He suspected it was partly trying to distract herself from worrying over Ducky.

Trouble was, he knew Abby was right.

Since the bombing, his dad hadn't called and the more time passed, the more his hurt and annoyance increased, and the more he tried to push that feeling away and not think about it.

"What, Tony? Your dad needs to know you're okay, you know that." Abby twisted round to face him.

"Yeah, well... I'm on the end of the phone too, y'know. He hasn't exactly been busting a gut to call me, has he?" Tony averted his gaze, gazing down at his coffee mug.

"And that, Tony, is a really good point but… how do you know he's heard the news today, huh?"

"Oh c'mon, Abbs, if he hasn't, he's gotta be the only person in the whole country who hasn't heard about it." He sat forward, placing his mug on the table, before glancing over his shoulder, unable to hide his hurt. "Why are you defending him anyway?"

"I'm not!" Abby protested, her voice rising, her hands waving. "Look, I know how pissed you can be at him and with good reason, and I'm not gonna take his side over yours but just… this time, there could be any number of reasons why he hasn't been near a TV or a radio or the internet today."

Tony opened his mouth to argue but no sound came out and he shook his head, not entirely convinced but he conceded Abby had a point. He had no real idea where his dad was right now. For all he knew, Senior could be on the other side of the world in another timezone and had slept their day away.

Abby's voice softened and she rested a hand on his arm, shaking it gently. "Think about it, Tony. It's a possibility isn't it?" She waited until he nodded before going on. "And when he does find out what's happened and if you haven't called him by then, he's gonna freak out and think the worst. So you need to make that phone call, Tony. If things were the other way around, you'd want him to call you, wouldn't you?"

Tony ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah, I would... okay, I give in, Abbs. I'll call him."

She slid her hand down his arm to grasp his fingers. "Good. I'm sure he'll want to know, Tony… you're his son, after all." She leaned forward and rested her forehead on his shoulder, her voice muffled. "I'm sorry, Tony. I don't mean to nag but I'm just... today's just thrown me for a loop."

He squeezed her hand. "I know, Abbs. And hey, you can nag me all you like if it'll make you feel better."

She chuckled softly, pulling back. "It doesn't. I'll leave you to it." She slid off the couch and headed for the kitchen.

"You sure you don't want me to clear up out there?"

Abby turned at the doorway and merely narrowed her eyes, pointing at his cellphone.

Tony sighed. "Yeah, I know, do it now, get it over with… nag, nag, nag." He turned back as Abby turned towards the kitchen. "Okay… let's do this, Anthony. I mean, how hard can it be, right? He's either there or he isn't… and he'll either have heard about it or he won't."

Tony picked up his phone and dialled his dad's number, listening as it connected and started ringing. "Hell, I don't even know if it's the same number. We haven't spoken in weeks. If he's changed it, I guess I'd be the last person to know the new number anyway… oh, hey, dad."

From the kitchen, Abby looked up from stacking dishes as Tony greeted his father, relieved that at least he'd managed to get through. She didn't try to eavesdrop, she told herself, really she didn't, but Tony didn't have a quiet voice and the more she listened to the one sided conversation, the more her heart went out to her friend.

"Yeah, I realize you're busy, dad… oh, right, yeah, lucky you on a big yacht all day. Yeah, good… glad the deal went off… No, I'm not ringing for any particular reason, dad, why should I be?…. Just, erm, wanted to talk, I guess… about the day. No, nothing special about the day…"

Tony resisted the urge to laugh at his dad's question, not able to stop the sarcasm seeping into his voice. "It was just a fairly quiet morning at the office, only managed a quick lunch as we were so busy… oh, and then partway through the afternoon, the building blew up, so it was a pretty average day as things go…. No… no, I'm not joking, dad. Trust me, for once I'm not joking."

Tony listened to the silence on the end of the phone for a moment, not deriving much satisfaction from having rendered his dad almost speechless for once.

"Haven't you seen the news? Well, yeah, I know you were on that yacht all day… but don't they have TV on there? Yeah, okay… you weren't watching TV, you were talking, making deals, I get it… yeah, okay, turn it on now. I'll wait. I'm sure they're still covering it… they've been showing nothing else all day."

Tony waited while his dad turned on the TV wherever he was now and listened as he flipped channels, hearing the cursing as Senior finally got to the news coverage. When his dad came back on the phone, Tony could hear the shock in his voice and felt a momentary pang for his old man.

"Yeah… yeah, I'm okay, dad. Yeah, Ziva's okay too…" Tony turned to meet Abby's gaze in the kitchen, rolling his eyes. "And Abby too… yeah, and everyone else… even Gibbs, yeah. No, no… we're all fine, Tim got injured by flying glass but he's gonna be okay… but there's too many others dead and badly injured, but then you'll get that from the news… I just… just wanted to let you know, I guess, that's all. No, we're still working… gotta catch this bastard, he's still out there… Yeah, okay, I'll tell them… you too. Bye, dad."

Tony threw the phone on the table again, rubbing his hands over his face. Abby came into the room from the kitchen, perching next to Tony on the couch and he leaned into her as she put an arm round his shoulders.

"Well, you were right, Abbs. He hadn't heard… or so he says."

She nudged him. "Hey, he's not gonna lie about something like that, is he? You should trust him this time."

Tony shrugged but didn't answer.

"Why didn't you ask him to come here, Tony?"

"Well, he didn't exactly offer to rush over here either from… wherever the hell he is now… shit, I forgot to ask him."

"Oh, Tony." Abby reached up to run her fingers through his hair, unable to think of anything that would make Tony feel better.

"And what's the point anyway, huh? I'd rather lean on you and Gibbs. But dad did ask after you… after everyone. Well, I guess you heard that." He sighed, relaxing into her touch for a moment before sitting up.

Abby eyed him for a few moments. "Talking of Gibbs, I'm worried about him. I mean, I know he's tougher than all of us but he's not… invincible, as magic as he is. I hope he's okay tonight."

"Well, he's got Uncle Tobias looking out for him tonight."

Abby chuckled softly. "I repeat, I hope Gibbs is okay."

Tony laughed. "You said it… but hey, as much as I rag on Fornell, he'll look after the bear. They're close, in a spooky Odd Couple kinda way. And if we can't be there to look out for Gibbs and if Ducky…" Tony paused, reaching out to take Abby's hand, feeling her grip his fingers tightly. "If Ducky's not around, then I'd rather Fornell was there with Gibbs than nobody."

"You should be there, Tony. Gibbs needs you… even if he thinks he's okay alone."

Tony stared at her for a moment. "And I promised Gibbs. He asked me to look after you… and I already told you, you shouldn't be alone tonight, Abbs. I wanted to be here anyway but I'm not gonna ignore a direct order like that, am I? He'd have me keel hauled."

When Abby continued to stare at him, Tony sighed. "Okay, I get it… I could always call him later, I guess, maybe see how he is."

The ringing of Tony's cellphone startled them both and Tony glanced down, seeing Gibbs' name on the display.

TBC…


	8. Chapter 8: Fanning the Flames

**Slow Burn**

A/N: Spoilers for _Extreme Prejudice_

* * *

**Chapter 8 - Fanning the Flames**

_The ringing of Tony's cellphone startled them both and Tony glanced down, seeing Gibbs' name on the display._

* * *

Abby grinned. "Wow, I know Gibbs is magic but I'm never quite sure which one of you is the more psychic… or whether it's this whole spooky mind meld vibe you have going between you."

Tony returned her smile. "It's a gift. Anyway, I swear the Bossman knows when we're talking about him."

"He's probably got our apartments bugged." Abby tilted her head on one side, pulling a face. "Which is kind of a scary thought. Okay, moving on, I'll get some more coffee." Abby ruffled Tony's hair and headed for the kitchen as Tony snatched up the phone.

"Yeah, Boss. What's up?"

"Nothing good, DiNozzo." Gibbs' familiar deep voice sounded tired. "Dearing's taken out an FBI team downtown. Fornell just left here with his ass on fire."

Tony slumped back on the couch, keeping his voice down so as not to alert Abby yet. "Jeez… another bomb?"

"Yeah. They thought they'd gotten him cornered but Dearing blew up half the building instead."

"Huh, sounds familiar." Tony paused, trying to get his head straight. "How many down this time?"

"One agent and the SWAT team."

Tony blew out a breath, rubbing a hand over his face. "Okay, Boss, what d'ya need? Want us to come in?"

Tony heard Gibbs sigh and wished he was there to see him and read how the other man was really taking all this.

"No, DiNozzo. Nothing to be done till morning. Need you to stay there with Abby. It'll be safer if no one's on their own tonight."

"That include you, Boss?" Tony could almost hear the eyeroll and Gibbs' voice was dry as he responded.

"Fornell's left two babysitters outside."

To Tony, that was nowhere near enough and he certainly didn't trust the Feebs to watch Gibbs' back, but he sensed it was all he was going to get tonight. That didn't mean he had to keep quiet about it though.

"O-k-ay… I hope that's enough bodies out there but you know it makes sense to have some protection, Gibbs. If this is turning personal and in Dearing's twisted mind, he blames you somehow, even if we know that's crap, then he could come after you too, y'know."

Gibbs sounded mildly exasperated. "I'll be fine."

"Well, I hope so coz if you're not, I'm gonna come over there and kick your ass… or get Abby or Ziva to do it while I supervise." That got him a tired chuckle. "You want me to call Ziva, tell her what's gone down?"

"I'll do it. She was gonna pick McGee up from the hospital and take him back to his apartment. I'll tell her to stay there."

"Okay… You get hold of your dad yet?" Tony knew Gibbs had tried to call his dad a couple of times, but hadn't been able to get through before they'd left the Navy Yard.

"Yeah… he's okay."

"Jack musta been worried."

"Yeah, he was. Asked after everyone." Gibbs paused a moment. "You call yours."

Tony sighed. "Yeah, Gibbs… I eventually gave in to Abby's _nagging_." He held the phone away from his ear and raised his voice so Abby could hear in the kitchen and he heard her chuckle.

"And?" Gibbs voice sounded in his ear and Tony sighed at his persistence.

Between the two of them, they didn't let him get away with anything.

"He said he hadn't called coz he didn't know… said he was on a yacht all day and they didn't turn on the news."

"Sounds like you don't believe him?"

Tony shrugged and then realized Gibbs couldn't see him. "I dunno. Force of habit, I guess, to be wary of whatever my father says."

"Maybe you oughta give him the benefit of the doubt this time, Tony." Gibbs commented after a pause.

Tony huffed a soft laugh. "That's what Abby says."

"Then you should listen to her."

Tony shook his head, fighting a grin. "Don't you two ever tire of being right?"

He heard the simultaneous 'No' shouted from the kitchen and said quietly in his ear and snorted. Gibbs must have heard Abby too and Tony heard the dry chuckle in his ear and fought a sense of longing to see the warm blue eyes and smirk he knew usually went with that rare sound.

Tony pulled the phone from his ear and looked at it for a moment before putting it back against his ear. "Okay, that was spooky… moving on. Abby managed to get through to Luca earlier on too…"

"Good."

Tony debated with himself about asking his next question but let his curiosity get the better of him. "You, er… you manage to get in touch with Dr Ryan and let her know you're okay?"

Dead silence.

As it dragged on, Tony mentally kicked himself, opening his mouth to start digging himself out of the hole he'd just dug when Gibbs finally spoke.

"No."

Not sure what to make of that clipped response and whether that meant Gibbs hadn't managed to get through or whether he hadn't even tried, Tony went on tentatively. "She must be worried about you."

Gibbs didn't comment, instead changing the subject. "You feeling okay? Your lungs alright?"

Tony sighed. Gibbs wasn't the first person today to comment about the dust stirred up from the explosion getting into Tony's scarred lungs.

"I'm just peachy… really I am, Gibbs. Anyway, there wasn't much time to get too much crap inside me this afternoon coz Abby and Ziva kept frogmarching me out of the bullpen every half hour so I could breathe the traffic clogged air of the Navy Yard. I'll give you a deep breathing demonstration if you like, but I might sound like a heavy breather and we don't want you to get too excited, thinking it's an obscene phone call."

Gibbs huffed a laugh. "Okay, Tony… I get it, your lungs are fine." His voice softened and Tony's stomach did a flip flop at the concern he could hear in the tone. "And if they're not fine during the night or tomorrow?"

"Then I promise, Scouts honor, to get them checked out… and you can be sure if I so much as clear my throat tonight, Abby'll have me down the ER faster than you can say, is the coffee on? Or she'll look after me herself and with any luck, she'll be wearing a nurse's uniform." He raised his voice at the end and heard Abby laugh as she shouted back.

"In your dreams, DiNozzo."

Hearing Gibbs laugh, Tony grinned before calling back. "Well, yeah, that's kinda the point, Abbs." He listened to her laughter for a moment before asking quietly, "Satisfied, Gibbs?"

"Guess I'll have to be."

Feeling both a dose of the warm fuzzies and also slightly uncomfortable from the quietly voiced concern drifting into his ear, Tony cleared his throat and softened his own tone as he answered in all seriousness.

"Look… I'm not gonna mess about with my lungs, Jethro. Trust me, the alternative isn't worth risking. I've been there and done that, remember? If there's anything wrong, I'll call Brad, I promise…" Feeling the need to shift the focus away from himself, Tony asked, "You gonna do some basement time tonight?"

Gibbs sighed. "Maybe."

Surprised at the 'maybe' rather than a definite, 'yeah,' Tony sat back, resting his head against the back of the couch. "Well, I won't deny that some time with my piano wouldn't be a bad idea fairly soon… But tomorrow is another day, huh? Although I should maybe get Abby to say that line coz she's got a better voice for Scarlett O'Hara than I have."

"No kidding," came the dry reply. "Get some rest, Tony. Try and make sure Abby does too."

"You too…" Tony found himself casting round for something to string out the conversation, not wanting to let that voice go quite yet. "And lock your door, right?"

Gibbs snorted. "You sound like Tobias."

"Hey," Tony laughed. "There's no need to be insulting." There was another pregnant pause before Tony went on softly. "I'm, er, glad you're okay, Jethro… I said that already, didn't I?"

"Yeah… yeah, you did."

"Okay then… so long as you know." Tony went on after a moment or two, conscious of the presence still at the other end of the line when he'd expected the usual abrupt Gibbs' sign-off by now. "G'night, Jethro."

"Night, Tony."

Tony was deep in thought when Abby came back in, carrying two mugs. Something on his face must have given him away because she eyed him anxiously as she sat down on the couch again. "What's happened?"

Tony explained as succinctly as he could about the second bombing and Abby gnawed her lip as she listened.

She threw up her hands when Tony had finished and jumped to her feet, starting to pace her small living room. "Jeez, is there gonna be anything else from this bastard? We so nearly lost _every_thing today, Tony, and who's to say Dearing's finished now?... Oh my god, what if he comes after Gibbs… at home? He blames Gibbs, doesn't he?" She came to a stop in front of him, hands on hips. "You should be there, Tony, on his six."

She was just echoing his own worries but hearing them voiced wasn't helping his own peace of mind. "Of course, I wanna be there, Abbs, but the Boss wants me here and he says he's got it covered at home. There's two FBI agents outside the house."

"Is that all?!" Abby gestured animatedly, glaring at him. "For god sake, Tony… that might not be enough."

"Don't you think I don't know that?" Tony shot back. "But what d'ya want me to do, Abbs? Run over there and say, hey, Boss, it's okay, I'm just having a panic attack, don't mind me. I'll just squat in the hallway with my gun trained on the door… you just carry on with whatever you're doing, you won't even notice I'm here."

They stared at one another and Abby's mouth twitched as the mental image flashed across her mind. Her angry stance softened and she slumped onto the couch beside him, her voice quieter. "Well, that would be a start but how 'bout, hey, Gibbs, I wanted to see if you're okay coz I really care and I could have lost you today."

He looked away, shaking his head. "Abbs… don't go there."

"No, don't Abbs me, Tony, and I _will_ go there." She reached out to turn his face towards her, waiting till he made eye contact. "If today doesn't tell you that life's too short to waste, then I don't know what will. I know you care about him, Tony… a lot and it goes way beyond the job… More than care maybe, huh?... Don't deny it."

Tony broke her gaze, looking down while he gathered his thoughts. He was so tired… not only physically but mentally and emotionally and he really didn't wanna do this right now.

But then when would be a good time?

Because Abby was right.

He had nearly lost everything he cared about today… and not just Gibbs but it had been the thought of losing the Marine that had scared him witless, and it would take a while before he got over the emotional battering.

And there was a part of him that _wanted _to talk to his friend about his feelings for Gibbs.

He needed to get his head straight about this because with everything else that was happening… the bombings… Ryan leaving… he felt very close to freaking out. Not sure if he should have a sliver of hope because Ryan was no longer around and Gibbs' reaction today, or if he was kidding himself and reading more into it than he should.

Tony rubbed the back of his neck, eventually glancing up at Abby. "Not gonna deny it, Abbs. Tired of denying it… but what the hell can I do about it, huh?"

Abby tugged him back until he was leaning against the back of the couch, and swing her legs across his lap and squirmed as close as possible. "What d'ya wanna do about it? Well, you love him, right? I mean I know you love him, you always have but it's more now, isn't it?"

Tony rested his hands on her legs, sighing as he relaxed into Abby's sitting version of her wraparound hug. "Yeah… it's more but this is _Gibbs_. I mean I couldn't fall in love with Mr or Mrs Ordinary, could I? Oh no… not me, it has to be Gibbs, has to be my boss, has to be my friend. If I could pick the one relationship in my life not to screw up, this one would be it. Well, other than you and me but we're solid, right?"

"As a rock, Tony. But this is different." Abby leaned the side of her head on the back of the couch, gazing at Tony thoughtfully.

"Yeah, very different. I mean we've both screwed up enough relationships… hell, it's the one thing I'm good at, screwing up. But if I get this wrong… I mean really wrong, then I've damaged our working relationship and our friendship, and I dunno, Abbs… it's scary..." Slightly unnerved at the way Abby was just gazing calmly at him while he rambled on, Tony threw his hands up in the air. "Well, say something will ya?"

"You done? I was just waiting till you got it all out." She squeezed his arm. "I get that you're scared, Tony… but does that mean you're not even gonna try?"

"I didn't say that."

"Coz if you don't, you could regret it for the rest of your life. And, y'know, not that I'm arguing that a Gibbs on the rebound is a good idea but you could argue that with _her_ gone, the field is clear for you to do something about it now."

"Like what?"

Her head snapped up and she narrowed her eyes. "C'mon, you don't need me to spell it out. Don't look at me like a startled rabbit, Tony. What would you do if Gibbs were any other man or… a woman?"

Tony snorted. "You mean other than faint?"

Abby stared at him before dissolving into giggles. "Yeah… okay… perhaps not the best image to conjure with."

"Ya think?"

She punched his shoulder. "I'm serious, Tony. If this were any other situation, you'd know what to do… if Gibbs were a man... well, okay he is a man but you know what I mean, if he were _another_ man or a woman, you'd sweep him or her off their feet."

"But this is _Gibbs_."

Abby rolled her eyes. "Well, yeah… I think we've got that."

"Yeah but this is Gibbs, widowed, three times divorced… and all with women. So let's not forget that crucial piece of evidence, shall we? A straight as they come, Marine. What makes you think he'd forget all that… and why would Gibbs even look twice at a guy like me? Or any guy?"

"_Because,_ you said it yourself, he's Gibbs… if anyone can see beyond gender, it's Gibbs. If he cares about someone, then yeah, I could see it not mattering to him what sex they were. I could see him seeing beyond his het past and looking at the person. He's not a judgemental guy, Tony."

"I know that, Abbs." Tony rubbed his hand over his face. "I've worked with the guy, remember? But what makes you think he'd see the possibilities of all that with… with _me_."

"Will you stop putting yourself down, Tony. You know I hate it when you do that… and I've always wanted to strangle any person who's hurts you."

Tony smiled at Abby's fierce tone and glare. "My heroine."

"You got that right. Bring 'em on." She grinned at him before sobering. "But I'm serious, Tony. He cares about you already, you know that."

"Yeah, I guess… in a sort of exasperated older brother kinda way."

"Well, maybe at first," Abby conceded after a moment. "But not now… it could easily be more than that, don't you think?"

Tony eyed her, half wary, half hopeful, wondering what Abby had picked up on. "Could it?"

"You didn't see him prowling around today, waiting for you and Ziva to be rescued from the elevator, I told you how worried he was…" Abby tilted her head to one side as she considered. "And just think about this… why d'ya think Gibbs reacted so badly to EJ last year, huh?"

"Oh, now I know you're crazy," Tony scoffed.

Abby giggled. "That may be true… but all that growling at EJ could easily have been so much more than being pissed at Rule 12 being bent or because he disliked her as a person." She held up a hand as he opened his mouth to speak. "I'm not saying he realized it back then, or even if he realizes it now but you gotta admit, the woman could do nothing right… and when he found out you two were knocking boots, wow… growly bear doesn't begin to describe it."

Tony felt uncomfortable at being reminded of the problems he'd had last year in his relationship with Gibbs but again, she had a point.

He sighed as he conceded reluctantly. "Okay, I'll give you that one. But you know how he doesn't like his rules being broken… and she did go out of her way to wind up the Great White. So I just put it down to that."

"Well, so did I at first but, just remember, he never reacted like that when I was dating McGee," Abby pointed out.

"That's because you can get away with pretty much anything."

Abby grinned. "Also probably true. But you could look at the whole EJ thing another way."

Tony shrugged. "I dunno… maybe… maybe not."

"Wow, Tony, you're hard work tonight. I'm just trying to give you some hope here." She shook her head with a fond smile. "And that hug I saw earlier today was _way_ more than just simple relief… so much more than that. Not to mention hot."

"Abbs…"

"What?" She smiled, her eyes twinkling. "Two hot men hugging... yowza. My very own dark haired, green eyed stud muffin and one silver haired, blue eyed fox."

"You think Gibbs is hot too, huh?"

"Well, duh, Tony." She rolled her eyes. "I'm female… and I'm breathing... He's sex on a stick, you both are, and the two of you together." Abby fanned herself, her smile widening. "Hubba hubba. It's bad enough when Gibbs walks across the Navy Yard, leaving a trail of hyperventilating men and women all over the place, but when the two of you do it, there's like an orgasmic wave that moves _slowly_ across the whole Navy Yard."

Tony started laughing. "Abby. Stop it."

"Oh, you know you love it." She squirmed closer and managed to get her arms around his neck in a tight squeeze. When she pulled back, she framed his face in her hands, telling him seriously, "You gotta do something, Tony."

"At the risk of repeating myself, like what?"

She dropped her hands, shaking her head. "And at the risk of sounding like a stuck record, what would you do in any other situation? If you want someone, you charm them… you woo them, Tony. So… that's all you gotta do."

"All?!" Tony rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right. Woo Gibbs… Sure… simple."

Abby nodded as if it was. "Yup."

Tony stared at her. "Now I know you're crazy. That's a surefire way of being posted to Alaska."

"Don't be silly… he'd never be mean to you like that. And you need to try coz I think you two would be totally fantastic together."

"Is this your hormones talking or your head right now?" Tony teased with a smile, taking in the mischief in her eyes.

"As hard as it is to separate those two sometimes when we're talking about hot men, it really is my head this time… and my heart. You know I love you both, right?" She waited till Tony nodded and gazed at him solemnly, all trace of teasing gone from her expression. "Well, my head and my heart says you two deserve happiness… you both don't deserve to be alone. So you listen to your Aunt Abby."

"Abbs… look, I know what you're saying and there's no one who wishes you're right more than I do and god knows, I wanna do this." Tony took a deep breath. "Hell… I look at the guy and sometimes I can hardly breathe. But it's more than just risking a job. He's my friend and I don't wanna do anything to jeopardise that."

"I know you don't… but do you honestly think you would? Gibbs isn't like that…"

"No, he's not," Tony acknowledged with a sigh. "He'd let me down easy but I'd know that I blew it and then I wouldn't be able to look him in the eye again… and then I might as well be in Alaska. All that trust and friendship… gone."

"I doubt anything could make that go away, whatever happens between you… or not." She leaned in to kiss his cheek. "Think about it… just promise me that."

"Oh, trust me, Abbs, it's all I think about at the moment… well, in between getting blown up and stuck in elevators with a pissed off Ziva, which is not an experience I recommend, by the way, or wanna repeat any time soon. Okay... but you promise to scrape me off the sidewalk when Gibbs kills me?"

"I do but I won't need to." Abby reached down to take his hand, squeezing his fingers tightly. "Go for it."

"Go for it, she says… Go for it. Oh boy." Tony let his head drop back, staring at the ceiling for a moment before a thought struck him and he glanced at Abby. "You realize this could all be academic. I mean just because Ryan is gone now doesn't mean she's gone for good… if this _thing_ with her ex gets straightened out, she could be right back and straight into his bed again."

"Well, then, you gotta ask him about her."

Tony suppressed a snort. "Oh… just like that, ask Gibbs about Ryan."

"Yup… why not?"

"Well, he barely answered me tonight when I asked him if he'd called her, so I doubt asking about their relationship is gonna go down too well" He shook his head. "You make it sound simple, Abby."

Abby stared at him seriously. "No… what's simple is that you love him and want to try and start a relationship with him, and all you _don't_ know is how Gibbs feels or if he's willing to give it a try too. That's the evidence, Tony. Follow the evidence. I think you can do it. I have faith."

"I'm glad someone does."

A teasing grin crept across her face. "Besides, the thought of you two together, it's just so totally hot. And if you do get it on, I want details… and pictures."

Tony shook his head, chuckling. "All this is not just to feed your fantasy life, Abbs."

"Damn."

TBC...


	9. Chapter 9: Light the Blue Touch Paper

**Slow Burn**

A/N: Spoilers for _Extreme Prejudice_. This chapter is set after they thought Dearing was dead… the first time. Many thanks for all the reviews – including the guest ones which FFnet won't let me reply to directly; every one is appreciated. And anyone would think I was having fun making you all wait for something to happen…

* * *

**Chapter 9 – Light the Blue Touch Paper**

Tony stood with Abby by Gibbs' desk, listening, along with the rest of the bullpen, to Vance finishing his announcement that Dearing was dead… laid out on an autopsy table below decks right now.

With Fornell beside him, Vance wound up, thanking everyone for their hard work and Tony exchanged glances with Tim and Ziva, who was perched on McGee's desk. As everyone began to disperse, the buzz of relief was palpable that the hunt for this guy who'd haunted them for months was finally over.

Tony watched the Director move along the upper deck in the direction of his office for a moment before turning back to Gibbs.

"That's it then. Who'd have thought it would be over so quick and easy in the end." He caught Gibbs' look and held up his hands. "Well, okay, not easy as in easy but after this week and all this build up, it seems almost an anti-climax now that we've got him. But maybe we can get back to normal… whatever passes for normal around here."

Gibbs nodded. "Guess so, DiNozzo."

Tony looked over at Abby, who was biting her lip and looking thoughtful. "What's up with you two? I mean there's no doubt it's him, is there? Nothing's hinky?"

Abby shrugged. "50% DNA match."

"Well, considering he must be a crispy critter, that's not surprising, is it?" Tony glanced back at Gibbs but his expression was impassive.

"No, it isn't, Tony," Abby agreed. "We've worked with a lot less and still gotten IDs that stood up in court."

"In Israel, we sometimes had to be content with an identification from a small scrap of tissue," Ziva reminded them.

Tony held Gibbs' gaze, trying to read his expression. "But it's not as… satisfying as being able to look the guy in the eye as you take him down and really know you've got him, am I right or am I right?"

Gibbs tilted his head in acknowledgement. "Yeah… somethin' like that."

"I guess we have to go with what we've got," McGee commented as he turned back to his desk. "It's over… that's the main thing, isn't it?"

"Guess it is. Okay, guys. I got other… stuff to do." Abby turned away only to be stopped by Gibbs' voice.

"Abbs." He waited till she turned. "Any of that stuff urgent?"

"Well, no, Gibbs but…"

Gibbs shook his head, cutting her off. "No buts… Go." He let his gaze run over the three agents. "You too. Paperwork can wait till tomorrow. You all look exhausted. Go home."

Tony stared at Gibbs, momentarily surprised, but McGee and Ziva didn't need telling twice and began gathering up their gear. With a wide smile on her face, Abby ran over to hug Gibbs, reaching up to kiss him on the cheek.

Abby giggled when she pulled back, wiping at the smudge of lipstick she'd planted on his cheek. "This is why it's probably better the other way round. You don't leave lipstick on my cheek. Well," Abby grinned as she teased. "Almost never. There was that one time."

Gibbs fought a smile, tilting his head. "Go."

"Yes, Sir." Abby threw Gibbs a sloppy salute and when he raised an eyebrow, her grin widened. "Ma'am."

As Abby turned, Tony tilted his head, pointing at his cheek. "Plant one, Abbs. I don't mind being covered in lipstick."

Abby smiled, leaning in to press her lips to his cheek. "Yeah, I heard that about you, Tony." She threw her arms round his neck for a hug and whispered in his ear. "Go for it."

"Abbs, behave," Tony muttered as he returned her hug and she pulled back with an unrepentant grin on her face, waggling her eyebrows with her back to Gibbs.

Oblivious to the byplay for once, Gibbs shook his head, amusement lacing his voice. "Get outta here, the pair of ya."

"Alright, alright… I'm going, I'm going." She waved her hands, backing away and grinning at them. "You two do whatever it is you were gonna do tonight. Night, guys."

As McGee and Ziva left too, Tony began closing down his own computer and gathering up his belongings.

Gibbs sat down, a smile tugging at his mouth as he watched Abby leave. "You two oughta be on the stage as a double act."

Tony smiled. "Nice to know we've got an alternative career when you finally fire me then."

Gibbs smirked, pointing at his cheek. "You've got…"

"Oh, right… Thanks." Tony scrubbed at his cheek. "Got it?" When Gibbs nodded, he asked, "You're not gonna stay, are you? That 'you look exhausted' comment applies to you too, y'know. Be honest… is there anything that can't wait till another day, Boss?"

Gibbs eyed the paperwork on his desk before shaking his head ruefully. "Maybe not."

"Well, there you go then… for once, follow your own advice and go home."

Gibbs shot him a look. "Maybe."

"C'mon, you know it makes sense… Basement?"

Gibbs nodded before countering, "Piano?"

"Yeah, I thought I might. Seems like a while since I had some time at home just to hang, y'know." Tony hefted his backpack onto his shoulder. He moved over to stand in front of Gibbs' desk, trying to suppress an attack of nerves. "You, er… if you feel like some company later, just come on over… I'll order enough takeout for us both and if you don't make it, I'll, er, have it reheated tomorrow… which is another bad habit I've picked up from you, by the way."

Gibbs gazed at him for a moment before nodding. "Okay… Thanks."

"I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to… you probably want some time on your own too… I just thought…"

Gibbs rolled his eyes at the rambling. "Okay… I got it. Go."

* * *

Gibbs paused outside Tony's apartment door. He could hear the piano playing through the closed door and leaned against the wall, listening to the soothing sound for a few moments.

On the way over, he'd tried working it through in his head why he'd been so restless again tonight; why he had no appetite for his basement for once and why he couldn't settle to reading or watching a game.

He was no nearer an answer that didn't start to freak him out than when he'd started the car to drive over here.

Even without a specific invite, usually neither of them needed to think twice about going to the other's home. It wasn't unusual for Tony to just turn up at his house unannounced or for Gibbs to just head on over to Tony's apartment if he knew the guy didn't have any plans.

So why did he feel antsy and nervous?

Why did tonight feel different from all the other times?

The piano stopped and Gibbs shook himself out of his thoughts, raising his hand to knock, and he waited a few moments before he heard Tony approaching, talking to himself.

"Well, that's fast even for that place." The door opened and Tony looked momentarily surprised before a big smile spread across his face. "Y'know, I really gotta tell that Chinese place that one of their delivery boys looks just like my boss."

Gibbs rolled his eyes, a grin tugging at his mouth. "Looks like I forgot the food."

"That's no tip for you then."

At that moment, the real delivery boy appeared at the end of the hallway and Tony grinned at Gibbs. "Now _he_ looks nothing like you but he has got the food at least, so that's a bonus straight away… and it's still fast." He jerked his head. "I got this. You go on in."

As Gibbs moved past him into the apartment, Tony headed down the hallway to intercept the delivery of their food. When he returned laden down with bags, Gibbs was standing at his window, gazing out at the darkened city.

Tony noted the preoccupied expression on Gibbs' face as he headed for the kitchen. As he began unpacking the bags, Tony called out. "Basement not cutting it?"

"Stairs were empty," Gibbs muttered before he could stop himself.

Tony's head popped around the kitchen archway. "Say again?"

Gibbs shook his head and Tony disappeared back into the kitchen. Gibbs huffed a breath, relieved the younger man hadn't heard that comment as he wasn't sure he could explain it to himself, let alone Tony.

It was like several instances over the past few weeks, when he'd realized Tony's presence somehow helped him feel grounded… either in person or on the phone, as it had been on the evening of the bombing.

It was disconcerting that he'd felt more comfortable and at ease with Tony than he had with Ryan recently; although with her never ending mind games, maybe it wasn't such a mystery and was hardly a fair comparison.

Tony accepted him for who he was.

Didn't try to change him. Didn't play mind games the way Ryan had. And he didn't have to watch every single thing he said like he'd ended up doing with Ryan.

He could be himself.

Tony also had a seemingly unshakeable faith in him which was humbling at times, and Gibbs felt he didn't always deserve. But it made him want to make the effort not to disappoint the younger man.

Gibbs was jolted out of his thoughts as Tony brought the food through, dumping a couple of bottles of beer on the table. "There you go. Make a start. I just gotta feed Kate… ladies first. Hope you said hi as you came in… she'll only sulk if you didn't."

Tony grinned as Gibbs rolled his eyes. By the time he'd fed his goldfish, Gibbs had distributed their food and opened the beer, settling on the couch. As they ate, they talked about wrapping up the case and the latest on Ducky and updates on injured colleagues in the hospital.

"Have we had any details of the funerals yet?" Tony asked.

Gibbs sighed. "Not yet… Vance'll make sure we know, for those being buried here. I think for some, the families are taking them home."

"I dropped by the hospital on the way home. So many to see, I feel like doing it in shifts… popped in to see Nikki." Tony dug around in his carton. "I'm not sure what she was freaking out about more, breaking her leg or the fact that she was stuck in a germ ridden hospital for a few days more. I think Probie's gonna visit Susan tomorrow."

"How's she doing?"

"Okay, I think… her back's pretty cut up by flying glass but they say she'll be fine. Y'know the real irony? If she'd still been in her office, she'd have been okay… she was outside when it blew."

"I'll drop by tomorrow now we've got more time… do the rounds of everyone." Gibbs paused. "Vance said Agent Adams didn't make it."

Tony grimaced. "Aw, hell… not another one. He had two kids, didn't he?" Gibbs nodded and Tony went on. "Damn… and Midge is still missing, isn't she?"

"Yup. All they know is she left the building."

"And vanished into thin air. A bit like Matt Damon in The Bourne Identity, although Midge was hardly an assassin with multiple passports and not quite like Harrison Ford in Regarding Henry coz while he lost his memory, he didn't actually disappear."

Gibbs considered for a moment. "I remember that one… second wife liked Harrison Ford. Come to think of it, all of 'em did."

"Wow… you making a movie reference. Stop the world, I wanna get off," Tony teased and Gibbs reached over to try to steal some of Tony's food, who laughingly batted his chopsticks away as he leaned back out of reach.

As they ate, Tony surreptitiously studied Gibbs, seeing the tension gradually seep from his shoulders but he could still sense his distraction. The Marine hadn't eaten nearly as much as he usually did, even of his favourite dish which Tony had ordered, and was now just picking over the remains of one carton without much enthusiasm.

"You organized the insurance guy for your truck yet? Kinda symbolic your truck protected both my car and Abby's. A bit like you do with all of us anyway."

Gibbs' truck had taken a direct hit from some of the debris from the explosion and wasn't repairable. His bigger vehicle had protected Abby's hot rod and Tony's car had also escaped damage for once, which, given his track record with cars, was a welcome surprise.

Gibbs nodded. "Coming over tomorrow."

"It's totalled though, right?"

"Yeah."

"That's a shame." Tony waved his chopsticks as a thought struck him. "You gonna get the same kinda truck?"

Gibbs shrugged. "Hadn't thought about it yet. Imagine so. Works for me."

"Aw, Gibbs… there's so many cool trucks out there." Tony grinned as he was on the receiving end of a look. "Don't look at me like that, you know I'm right."

"It's a truck, Tony." Gibbs nodded towards the piano. "Heard you playing when I got here. Haven't heard that in a while."

Tony followed Gibbs' glance. "No… we haven't exactly had much time lately, have we? I've missed playing."

"It sounded good."

Tony gave him a pleased smile. "I can play again if you want."

When Gibbs came over to his apartment and either there wasn't a game on or Tony couldn't persuade Gibbs to watch a movie, or Tony simply needed to get his own head on straight, he often played while Gibbs stretched out on his couch. The Marine would sometimes bring a book to read or just simply relax and would often end up drifting off to sleep.

Tony loved those quiet evenings, when he could play and let his own mind drift while sneaking glances at Gibbs lying there on his couch, looking so at home in his space… which was just how comfortable Tony felt at Gibbs' own house.

It was an image he'd give his right arm to have in his life as something more than friends.

"I'd like that."

"I'll even take requests." Tony teased with a smile.

Gibbs snorted, reaching for his beer before a thought struck him. "But if you need some space, I can leave you to it."

Tony shook his head. "No need. Could do with some company myself. It was good being with Abby the other night but last night on my own… well, last night sucked. Couldn't seem to settle to anything."

Gibbs looked at him, concerned. "Nightmares?"

"Not so much that, just…" Tony shrugged, not sure how to explain his restlessness. "Well, it would have been just nice to have someone to talk to, I guess… someone who understands what we went through, and I think Abby's struggling to come to terms with it herself, so I didn't wanna burden her anymore… and I knew you were busy."

Gibbs stared at him seriously. "Never too busy if you need to talk, Tony… or even if you don't wanna talk."

"Thanks, Jethro…" Tony shot him a rueful smile. "I should know that by now, shouldn't I?"

"Yeah, you should." Gibbs began gathering up the debris from the takeout. "I'll take care of this." He nodded toward the piano. "You. Play."

"On it, Boss." Tony grinned widely before settling himself at the piano and beginning to pick out a soft jazz tune, something that he could just float along with and not concentrate on too much. He could hear Gibbs in the kitchen and found himself relaxing into the familiarity of the scene.

It felt like a welcome respite from all the craziness of the past weeks… and despite the worry over injured co-workers, a string of funerals to attend and repairs to the building to work around, moments like this were something to be treasured.

Tony looked up as Gibbs returned from the kitchen carrying two mugs, putting Tony's within reach on the coffee table.

Gibbs sipped his coffee for a while, a small smile on his face as he listened to Tony playing. It wasn't long before he stretched out on the couch, resting his head against the armrest and closing his eyes and Tony risked more glances his way, soaking up the Marine's presence.

Tony eventually broke the silence, but didn't pause in his playing. "So… are there any loose ends left over from Dearing we should be thinking about? Well, apart from Midge disappearing… anything case related to follow up tomorrow?"

"Nope."

Tony looked Gibbs over carefully before asking. "What about what happened with Dr Ryan's ex-husband? He's still out of jail, right? And I presume she and Parker will have to stay in hiding until he's dealt with? You gonna try and help her with that?"

Gibbs opened his eyes, staring at Tony for a long moment before shaking his head.

"She didn't ask you to help, did she?" Tony took a guess.

Gibbs didn't answer the question directly but it was answer enough. "Haven't spoken to her."

Tony frowned, letting his fingers still on the keys. "And she hasn't called you either, has she?"

Gibbs shook his head, looking away.

His earlier disappointment that Ryan had chosen to run instead of letting him help was now combined with hurt that she hadn't made contact with him after the bombing.

Gibbs figured she could probably find out easily enough that he wasn't on the casualty list, but the fact that she didn't seem to want to talk to him… that hurt, however much he tried to ignore it.

But it also told him how little Ryan was invested in their relationship.

And Gibbs was so tired of the way she blew hot and cold towards him that Gibbs was beginning to feel more relieved than anything else that he didn't have to deal with her in this immediate aftermath of the bombing.

There was a certain irony to be on the receiving end of being shut out of a relationship when he was usually the one doing the retreating.

It wasn't a comfortable feeling to experience a taste of his own medicine.

Tony watched Gibbs as he made a conscious effort to bring his face under control. If he didn't know the guy so well, it would have been tough to read him but Tony could see the subtle play of emotions passing fleetingly across his face.

Tony felt anger rise up at the thought that Ryan hadn't even made an effort to make contact with a man she supposedly cared about, even just to see if he was okay.

It wasn't the action of a woman who had Gibbs' six.

Even if Ryan couldn't risk direct contact, five minutes on a burn phone would at least have sent a message to Gibbs that she was thinking about him. After all, it's not every day your lover nearly gets blown up on the same day you decide to skip town.

If she'd cared at all about Gibbs, she'd have found a way.

He would have.

He'd have moved heaven and earth just to speak to the guy.

"Well… maybe she found out you were okay through… someone else."

As much as it stuck in his throat to try to be fair to Ryan, his main concern was to try to reassure Gibbs, but the older man merely shrugged. Tony wasn't sure what else to say and in the end just asked, "So you don't know when she'll be back?"

Gibbs shook his head. "No idea."

"I'm sorry, Jethro… I don't like to think your relationship has been affected by Dearing's manipulation."

Gibbs rubbed the back of his neck. "He only speeded up the inevitable, Tony."

"Oh…"

That was unexpected.

"But she will be back eventually, won't she?" Tony went on, cautiously feeling his way. "I mean, even though she's not here now, you're still together, right? Okay, you could be apart for months, I get that but it doesn't mean it's over over… does it?"

Gibbs shook his head, swinging his legs off the couch and sitting up, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. "We're done."

It was only when he said it out loud that Gibbs accepted it as the truth.

He was done with the games.

Tony stared at him. "Then I'm doubly sorry. I don't like to see you get hurt."

Gibbs looked down at his clasped hands for a moment and his voice was so quiet, Tony had to strain to hear him. "They all leave… in the end."

"I wouldn't."

The words were out of his mouth before Tony could stop them and he froze, wide eyed, when he realized what he'd said.

_Holy shit, did I really say that out loud?_

TBC…


	10. Chapter 10: Ignition

**Slow Burn**

A/N: Spoilers for _Extreme Prejudice._ So, not a fan of where I left the last chapter, eh?! Ooops… *innocent face*

* * *

**Chapter 10 – Ignition**

_"They all leave… in the end."_

_"I wouldn't."_

* * *

Tony heard the panicked note in his voice as he scrambled to escape from the hole he'd just dived into headfirst. "Wow, where did that come from? I guess I must be really tired. What I meant to say was, as a loyal St Bernard, you could've counted on me to, erm, be here when you needed me… that, uh, I wouldn't leave coz friendship's important, right? Like we said weeks ago."

Tony risked a glance at Gibbs whose head had snapped up and he was staring at him intently, with those blue eyes that always seemed to see right through everything.

"But I didn't mean anymore by it… not that you would think I did." Tony stood up suddenly, feeling his alarm building. "I'd better go home… leave you to relax."

Tony started towards the kitchen, before stopping in his tracks, looking around at familiar surroundings and wincing internally. "Except I'm here because this is my apartment so, uh, I can't go home coz I'm already here… or, I know, I could just go for a run and come back after you've left… not that I'm trying to get rid of you."

_Aw crap, with every word he was making this worse._

"Tony."

Tony spun around to meet Gibbs' piercing gaze and the two of them stared at one another for several moments before Gibbs inclined his head. "Sit."

Gibbs waited until Tony sat down next to him, but the younger man looked poised for flight as he perched on the edge of the couch, looking everywhere but at him. He kept his voice level and quiet. "Care to explain?"

"No… not really." A quick glance and then Tony's eyes skittered away, darting around the room. "You, er, might not like it."

"Tony…"

Gibbs gazed at Tony steadily until the younger man eventually met his eyes and he tried to make his posture and expression open and encouraging. His gut was telling him that Tony's soft comment just now about not leaving him was more than just a slip of the tongue and Gibbs wanted to get to the bottom of it.

"Okay… okay, I'll try…" Tony ran his hand over his hair, puffing out a breath and looking up at the ceiling as if it would give him inspiration. "Abby, this is all your fault, you're the one who said go for it. Just you wait till I get hold of you next week."

Gibbs frowned. "Tony, you're not making any sense… Well, less than usual."

"Sorry…" Tony shot him a nervous smile. "Uh, okay, let me get it straight in my head first. I was gonna say something tonight anyway, if I could, but I was gonna lead up to it, not just blurt it out like that. But I kinda dumped myself in it there, didn't I?" Tony didn't wait for a response but plunged on "So I haven't had time to think about how to word things."

His head rocked forward as Gibbs whacked him lightly upside the head, cutting into the ramble.

"Word what?"

"Well, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, Jethro, especially after the bombing. Remember the conversations we had way back about things going wrong with Wendy… again?"

Tony waited till Gibbs nodded before going on, hoping his courage wouldn't leave the building before he got this all out. "And we talked about how we trusted one another and how it would be nice to find that in a partner, and you were worried about trusting Dr Ryan, which turned out to be okay in the end… well, at least professionally okay. Remember all that?"

Gibbs nodded, puzzled and intrigued by the almost pleading look in Tony's eyes as he talked, wondering where the younger man was going with this. "Yeah, I remember. Go on."

Tony took a deep breath. "Okay… And then the other day, when I nearly lost you, I was so scared I'd left it too late to tell you." His hand rubbed over his face. "Oh god, where am I going with this, apart from around in a circle?"

"Tony…" Gibbs reached out to lay a hand on Tony's arm, keeping his voice calm. "Whatever it is, just tell me."

Tony stared down at the hand on his arm for a moment and then up at Gibbs, searching his eyes. "Just tell you… Right, okay, I can do this… remember what you said to me at Christmas, that I needed to get out of your basement coz I wouldn't find what I was looking for down there?."

Gibbs nodded again and Tony continued. "Well… you were wrong. I think your basement has exactly what I need in my life… what I want… coz it's got you."

Tony saw Gibbs' eyes widen and he plowed on, wanting to finish before Gibbs either headslapped him into the next state, reached for his gun or fired him… or all three.

"I mean some of the day it's got you, not all the time I know but it does… sometimes have you…" Tony trailed off lamely, conscious of the weight of Gibbs' gaze as he stared at him.

Tony began shifting nervously on the couch, willing Gibbs to say something… anything. But the guy didn't look angry and hadn't cut and run… yet.

Gibbs was still trying to recover from the initial surprise and sort out his own emotions before Tony bolted.

It was like sitting next to a skittish horse.

"That's a surprise." Gibbs winced inwardly as he said it, conscious how lame it sounded, but it was all he could manage to start with.

"Yeah, I figured it might be." Tony's smile turned sheepish, slightly surprised he'd got anything out of his functional mute after that bombshell. "I did hit you with it out of left field, didn't I?"

Gibbs nodded. He was silent for a moment. "You talking more than friendship here?"

"Yeah, I am… way beyond friendship. It's been building for a while I guess, although I only realized recently how strong it is, or I'd never have said anything. And then what happened this week… well, it reminded me life's too short." Tony held his gaze, his voice softening. "Never been more relieved to see anyone when I got outta that elevator."

"Was pretty relieved you were okay too."

"And I just want… more. And I have no idea how much I'm screwing this up by even mentioning it and I ought to start packing for a stint in Alaska." Tony rubbed the back of his neck. "The last thing I wanna do is damage our working relationship or our friendship coz both mean the world to me, you know that, but I just can't… go on hiding how I feel anymore. I nearly lost you and that woulda killed me…"

Tony stared at Gibbs, trying to read beyond the impassive mask but failing for once. He hated the imploring note in his voice as he murmured, "Say something, Jethro, please."

"Not sure what to say, Tony." Gibbs began but Tony didn't let him go on before jumping in.

"Maybe I shouldn't have said anything... I'm sorry if I've embarrassed you… made things awkward. I'd better start packing for the frozen north." Tony made to stand up and was stopped by a firm hand on his arm.

Gibbs squeezed his arm. "You're not going anywhere… just give me a minute, will ya?" He held Tony's gaze until he felt the younger man relax, even if his eyes were still troubled.

Tony nodded. "Sure… take as much time as you need."

Gibbs let his head fall against the back of the couch and stared up at the ceiling for a few minutes. Tony tried to will himself to calm down, looking around the room in between shooting glances at the Marine, who now had a thoughtful expression on his face.

Gibbs also hadn't seemed to notice that his hand was still on Tony's arm but the strong reassuring grip was the only thing keeping Tony from leaping up and pacing the room, or running for the door.

Eventually, Gibbs huffed out a breath and spoke without turning his head and what he said initially confused Tony with the apparent change in subject.

"Ask me about the basement again?"

"Huh, what?"

"That question earlier… ask me about the basement."

"Uh… okay." Still puzzled but willing to play along, Tony repeated his earlier question. "Basement not cutting it?"

"No." Gibbs turned his head to meet Tony's gaze. "The stairs were empty."

"Oh?... _Oh_." Tony stared at him wide eyed as the words sunk in.

Gibbs gave a self-deprecating, almost bashful smile, shrugging lightly. "Yeah… crazy, huh?" He paused and Tony waited him out patiently, his heart still hammering from the Marine's admission.

Eventually, Gibbs continued. "Not sure when it started or what it means but when you were flying back from Naples with Ziva… I couldn't settle to anything in the basement. Kept looking across at the stairs as if expecting you to be there."

Tony grinned. "Trust me… on that flight back with Ziva and Stan, I'd rather have been there too."

He remembered Abby grabbing him to say that Gibbs had been acting hinky and he'd seen the evidence for himself easily enough.

Maybe she'd been right after all about the cause of it… _him_.

"The other night, wanted to… hear your voice, make sure you were okay." Gibbs shifted on the couch, feeling uncomfortable with admitting this but figuring Tony deserved his honesty.

"Well, that's good."

Tony saw the rare vulnerable expression cross Gibbs' face as he huffed a self-conscious laugh. "Confuses the hell outta me."

Tony chuckled. "Well, thanks… I think."

"Aw, hell… I didn't mean…"

Tony shook his head, smiling, wanting to cover Gibbs' hand where it still rested on his arm but not sure if the older man would welcome it just yet. "It's okay… I get it, Jethro. Glad I'm not the only confused one around here."

They stared at one another for a long moment until Gibbs spoke again. "Didn't know you felt like this, Tony."

"And there was me thinking I'd given myself away lots of times before now… letting things slip," Tony confessed quietly.

Gibbs tilted his head as he thought back and then nodded briefly. "Maybe we should."

Tony heard his words repeated from that night weeks ago when Gibbs had joked they should sleep together if they couldn't trust women anymore, and grinned at the Marine, pleased and nervous in equal measure that Gibbs _had_ remembered what he'd said.

"So you did pick up on that, after all. I wondered at the time if you had… was scared how you'd react."

Gibbs lifted one shoulder briefly. "Couldn't work out if you were joking or not. You covered pretty well… but then you always do."

"I thought I'd really blown it," Tony confessed ruefully. "I wondered why you didn't tackle me about it at the time… figured you were just ignoring it and putting it down to my big mouth. Can't do that now, can I?"

Gibbs shook his head, returning Tony's smile.

"The cat's well and truly out the bag and through the cat flap and roaming the neighbourhood…" Tony hesitated before admitting. "I'm glad I told you though."

Gibbs squeezed his arm before letting his hand drop. "Took a lot of guts… How long you felt like this, Tony?"

"A while… you're an attractive guy so that was a given from the get go." Tony fought a blush, but found himself gaining some confidence as Gibbs continued to look at him with interest and warmth and not disgust and horror.

"I guess it's just crept up on me gradually that it's… more than just friendship. Never felt I belonged anywhere until I came here, and that was just as much down to you as it was the job. Then you became more than my boss, you became my friend and my… anchor."

Tony trailed off and let the silence drift for a while, watching Gibbs carefully. Eventually, he went on, feeling his nerves rising again. "So, is this where you let me down gently and I try not to think about how I've screwed up our friendship."

Gibbs shook his head, meeting his eyes seriously. "Nothing you do or say can ever do that, Tony." Gibbs fell silent and Tony waited him out. "As for letting you down gently… not gonna do that either. Gotta work it through myself."

Tony blinked at the somewhat unexpected response. "Take as long as you need… as long as we're still friends."

"Been friends for a long time, Tony." Gibbs held Tony's eyes, his expression serious. "Nothing's gonna change that. Our friendship means a lot. And there's no one I trust more… on and off the job. Rely on you."

"Even the yabba yabba?" Tony teased with a smile.

"Even that." Gibbs chuckled, his gaze softening. "Told you I depend on you." He paused for a moment, trying to order his thoughts and feelings, which he was only really starting to face himself. "Missed you when you were agent afloat. Last year when you went off grid for Sec Nav, hated not having your back… Was worried about you. It was a long four months."

Gibbs watched a range of emotions race across Tony's face. He looked pleased, embarrassed, proud and hopeful in quick succession.

"Didn't like being out there either without you on my six and really hated not being able to talk things through with you." Tony grinned. "And God, I missed that basement… and you. I even missed the sawdust."

"These last weeks, missed you when you weren't here. Seemed to need you around." Gibbs felt his cheeks burning slightly and his eyes darted around the room. "Not sure what it means yet or how to handle it but you… anchor me too, Tony."

"You saying it could mean more for you?"

Gibbs looked at Tony seriously. "Honestly? I don't know if it means more or even what type of _more_ it could be, but it feels like… something."

"Feels like a heck of a something to me…" Tony hesitated before asking almost tentatively. "Do you wanna see if we can make something of this… something."

Gibbs considered how best to reply.

Could he turn a friend into a lover?

He'd done it before, even if it hadn't worked so well, so there was no reason why he couldn't do so this time… with a man.

And with someone who knew him so well, maybe it stood more of a chance of working?

So perhaps he should take a leap?

"Don't wanna ignore it." Gibbs admitted. "Wouldn't be fair to do that to ya anyway."

"So… perhaps we should try figuring it out?"

Gibbs nodded slowly. "Yeah, perhaps we should." His eyes roamed over Tony's face and the younger man sat still under his inspection with difficulty. "Give me some time, Tony. Can you do that?"

Tony smiled slowly, feeling his nerves starting to settle. "I can do that… as I said before, take as much time as you need, Jethro. Just promise me one thing… that we'll still be friends at the end of it, whatever happens."

"Don't wanna do anything to jeopardize that…" Gibbs considered for a moment, but felt he had to mention it. "If this… works, you know I don't do casual well?"

From the wry smile Tony gave him, it was hardly news.

"Well, yeah, I kinda got that…" Tony sobered quickly as he realized what Gibbs might be getting at. "Are you worried about my track record of casual flings and running a mile from commitment?"

Gibbs nodded. "It's gonna come up."

Gibbs knew it was unfair to automatically think of Tony this way. It wasn't quite as simple as Tony leaping from one bed to another. There was a good reason why the younger man had gone down this route in the last ten years…

… and her name was Wendy.

But Gibbs also didn't want to be another notch on Tony's bedpost.

"I won't insult you by promising anything, but I think… no, I _know_ this could be very far from casual for me too. I wouldn't do that to you, Jethro."

Gibbs saw nothing but sincerity in Tony's gaze and nodded slowly. "I think I get that… Good to know."

A thought struck him out of left field.

"Wait. You said something about Abby telling you to go for it."

Tony looked sheepish for a moment. "Yeah, well… I had to confide in someone. She's my friend and I was freaking out… again. But she's the only one who knows how I feel about you."

"Not complaining, Tony. Glad you had someone to talk to."

"She said she wants details if we get together."

Gibbs laughed. "That sounds like Abbs."

"And preferably pictures," Tony added, grinning.

"Thought she might." Gibbs returned his smile before looking at Tony curiously. "She always known you're bi?"

Tony nodded. "Yeah, pretty much… and I could trust her with it, long before it became a bit easier… more acceptable… but even then, I keep it quiet around work, for obvious reasons. When did you know?"

"Didn't for sure… not until tonight. Suspected. Figured some of those women might be men."

Tony hesitated before asking, pretty sure of the answer. "I'm guessing you've not looked twice at a guy before?"

Gibbs shook his head. "Not till now, no."

Tony resisted the urge to turn cartwheels around the room at the 'till now'.

"Shannon always said that gender didn't matter," Gibbs went on. "That it was the person that was important and I agree with her. It's the feelings that matter… trust, getting along well, sharing… stuff, understanding, supporting each other."

Gibbs let his words falter for a moment as he realized all those things already existed here, with Tony.

He shook himself and looked at Tony seriously. "We've got all that already."

Tony nodded, watching Gibbs' face carefully. "We do."

"The rest is just… packaging I guess." Those eyes held his again and Tony fought a shiver as Gibbs continued, "So if it's possible I could take a chance with a man, I could see it being you."

Tony smiled widely. "So what next?"

Gibbs rubbed his hand over his head, giving a self-conscious smile. "Damned if I know."

That got him a laugh and he let his gaze move over Tony's face before asking quietly, "What do you want, Tony?"

"Would you believe me if I said I'm not sure… Hadn't let myself hope I'd get this far," Tony admitted quietly. "Maybe… we could just spend more time together, see if we can turn this something into something that means… something." Gibbs snorted with amusement and Tony grinned. "I know, I sound about 12, don't I?"

Gibbs nodded, his half smile quirking.

Tony laughed, rubbing his neck. "Okay… spend more time together than we do already which is a lot anyway… and see how we go and where we go from there? What d'ya think?"

Gibbs felt something settle inside him as he looked at the younger man.

"I can do that."

TBC…


	11. Chapter 11: Balls of Fire

**Slow Burn**

**Chapter 11**** – Balls of Fire**

"I went for it."

Startled, Abby jumped as Tony's voice sounded right by her ear. She spun round, her hand pressed to her chest. "Tony! Jeez, you nearly gave me a heart attack. You been taking sneaky sniper lessons from Gibbs or something? Wait… you went for it?"

Tony nodded, smiling as Abby's eyes widened. He winced as she squealed, grabbing his arms. "Oh. My. God! That is awesome, Tony. And how did going for it… go?" She peered at him closely, holding up her hand. "Wait… don't tell me. I can see by your face."

Before Tony could say a word, Abby launched herself at him and he grunted as he staggered back under the force of her hug. "Whoa, Abby… and keep your voice down, will ya?"

"Oh yeah… sorry." She grabbed his hand and dragged him into her office, grabbing her remote control to close the door and shutting off her music. She spun around, hands on hips. "Okay, Tony… speak!"

"Thought you could see it all from my face?" Tony teased with a grin, settling one hip on the edge of Abby's desk.

"I did… and I can, but don't try and tease me with this, Tony." She started to pace, waving her hands. "This is _way_ too important for that. When did you go for it? Was it last night? How did you go for it? What did he say? He didn't turn you down, did he? Well, no, I guess he didn't, judging by that smug look on your face. Is it gonna be okay? Please tell me it's gonna be okay? What are you gonna do now? Speak Tony! I need more details… and are there pictures?"

Tony burst out laughing as Abby came to a stop in front of him, practically vibrating out of her skin. "No, there aren't any pictures. Just slow down, will ya, and maybe let me get a word in? Yeah, I went for it last night and we talked… I mean my functional mute really talked to me."

Abby grinned, bouncing on her toes. "That's awesome."

"Took me by surprise a bit… but it was good, Abbs. He really listened… let me talk, and I know for Gibbs any kinda talking is huge."

"Gibbs rocks as a good listener. Oh my God, Tony, this is so exciting." Abby launched herself at him again, hugging him tightly. "I told you it'd be okay, didn't I?"

Tony smiled at her enthusiasm as he held her. "Yeah, you did, Abbs… and boy, am I glad you were right."

When she pulled back, Abby rested her hands on his shoulders. "So he does return your feelings, right?"

Tony shrugged. "Well, I wouldn't go that far but he didn't run away or blow me off… He thinks there might be… something."

"Well, of course there's something."

Tony shook his head, a fond smile breaking out at her certainty. "And we're gonna see if we can work it out. Gotta take it a step at a time."

"Of course you're gonna work it out. You two are gonna be so awesome together, I can just feel it. I mean, you've really been dating for years anyway, even if you didn't know it… and without the sex."

Abby gazed off into space and Tony could easily guess at the images running through her head because he'd had the same ones flashing through his head pretty much since last night.

Her grin widened. "And that's gonna be totally awesome too."

"Abby…" Tony interrupted hurriedly before she could start on about orgasmic waves again.

"Oh, Tony, you totally rock! I'm so proud of you!" Abby grinned, waving her arms.

Tony stood and grabbed her shoulders. "Abby… calm down. You gotta remember it may not work. Neither of us are poster boys for long term relationships, are we?"

"No…" Abby deflated momentarily but he could see the wheels turning and her face soon lit up again. "Well, you were just waiting for Gibbs, that's so obvious now… and you don't know but he's been waiting for you too, Tony, even if he hasn't realized it… until now."

"Abby…" he tried to halt the flow before she could get going again.

One of them had to keep their feet on the ground, even if her joyful enthusiasm was infectious.

"Sorry… okay… shutting up now." She zipped her mouth up, her eyes still smiling.

Tony rolled his eyes. "That'll be the day." He ran his hand over his hair, moving away to start pacing his own circuit of her office. "I don't know how it's gonna work out, Abbs… or even if it's gonna work out and I gotta tell ya, I was pretty scared last night. Really thought I was gonna screw up."

Tony turned and saw Abby tilt her head, looking at him expectantly. "Okay, okay, speak."

She unzipped her mouth. "But you didn't, right?"

"Well, he didn't stiffen up on me."

An eyebrow raised, a gleam in her eyes. "Well… not yet but very soon."

Tony laughed. "I'll rephrase that. And you… behave. Your mind lives in the gutter."

"You say that like it's a bad thing, Tony. Okay… okay…" Abby drew a hand down her face as if smoothing out her expression but it was given away by the twinkle in her eyes. "I'll behave. So, what are you gonna do to work it out? Just to keep my fantasy life fed and watered."

Tony grinned, shaking his head. "You don't need my help for that one, Abbs." Tony shrugged. "We're gonna just spend more time together."

"There you go then… dating," Abby stated as if it was obvious.

"Yeah… dating. Sounds simple, huh?" Tony moved to sit back on the edge of her desk, running his hands over his face. "And sounds so damn good too… but I don't wanna scare him off by coming on too strong."

"You won't, Tony. Time to bring out the charm."

Tony shook his head. "No. Gibbs deserves better than that, Abbs. He deserves better than _that_ Tony."

Abby came and perched next to him, nudging his arm. "And he'll get the real Tony, won't he?

Tony wrapped an arm round her shoulders. "Sure gonna try…"

"And you'll get the real Gibbs, I know it." Abby rested her head against his. "You two just fit like… peas in a pod, Yin and Yang… and I still want pictures."

TBC…

A/N: A short chapter this time… split off from the next as my fiddling got out of hand and I've added a lot to the next chapter… which is SO not like me! *rolls eyes at self*


	12. Chapter 12: Like a House on Fire

**Slow Burn**

A/N: Spoilers for _Extreme Prejudice. _And I'm sorry to laugh at all the impatience but it's just too tempting. Hope you're figuring out that the clue's in the title… and that I'm having a great deal of fun winding you all up by taking it so slowly... although you might view this chapter as a little bit of progress? Maybe?

* * *

**Chapter 1****2 – Like a House on Fire**

Gibbs stood outside Tony's apartment once again, six pack in one hand, and feeling more than a little self-conscious.

This was just another night at Tony's place, like he'd done dozens of times but after their conversation and Tony's confession a couple of weeks ago, these evenings now felt more like dates.

Maybe because they were.

And he was still getting his head around that… and still getting used to the fact that that wasn't freaking him out as much as he thought it might.

In fact, the whole thing with Tony felt pretty darn good so far.

And, Gibbs reflected, glancing down at the six pack in his hand, if he were here for dinner with Antonia instead of Anthony, would he be standing here with flowers or a bottle of wine?

He chuckled at the thought of Tony's reaction if he turned up carrying flowers. It might be worth doing that one day just to see the look on his face.

In fact, the last weeks had been a strange mixture of different and normal. They'd spent more time together as Tony suggested and it had felt just as relaxed and comfortable as it always did.

Gibbs wasn't sure what he'd expected but hadn't been quite prepared for how… easy it was.

How right it had felt.

He also knew Tony was being patient with him and seemed willing to wait while Gibbs worked it all through in his head, and for that he was grateful. A lot of the getting to know you parts of any relationship were already behind them and Gibbs was sure that was helping.

Gibbs shook himself out of his thoughts and knocked on the door and when it opened, Tony waved him inside with a smile. "For a guy who leaves his door unlocked, you could use your key and come straight on in, y'know."

"Force of habit."

"Well, remember next time, 'kay?" Tony threw the remark over his shoulder as he headed for the kitchen. "Stick those in the fridge, there's cold ones already in there. I gotta get on with this or we'll never eat."

Gibbs followed Tony, moving to dump the beer in the fridge and remove two of the chilled bottles in there. He turned back as he popped the caps, placing a bottle on the counter near Tony.

"You're cooking."

Tony paused in his chopping, looked down at what he was doing and suddenly backed away from the counter, waving the knife and looking horrified. "Argh… God, how did that happen?!"

Gibbs snorted, reaching up to deliver a light head slap which ended more in a hair ruffle. "Smart ass."

Tony grinned before moving back to the counter and resuming what he was doing. "I just felt like a change… Very Special Agents cannot exist on takeout alone, Jethro."

Gibbs turned to lean back against the counter, eyeing Tony. "No, dear."

Tony laughed, waving a knife. "I'm serious. Besides, I enjoy cooking when I'm in the mood and tonight I was in the mood… and if I didn't use this stuff up today, it was gonna grow legs and start marching out of the kitchen under its own steam."

"Hey… I'm not complaining." Gibbs leaned past Tony to snag a carrot. "I can eat anything."

Momentarily startled at the brief close up view of short silver hair and strong neck… a strong edible neck right under his nose before Gibbs pulled back, Tony cleared his throat as he forced his concentration back onto what he was doing. "Good… coz this chilli will set your socks on fire, which you may or may not view as a good thing."

By the time they sat down to eat at the counter Tony used as a table in his kitchen, Gibbs' stomach was growling from the appetising smells emanating from the oven, and he tucked in eagerly.

"S'good, Tony," Gibbs mumbled around a mouthful of chilli.

Tony grinned. "Not too hot?"

"No such thing."

Tony chuckled. "I always forget you like your food nuclear. One day I'll make it too hot even for you… although that'd probably put me in the hospital."

Gibbs tilted his head, smiling slightly. He sipped his beer. "Spoke to Ducky today."

"Yeah? How is he?"

"Impatient."

"Well, in his shoes, I'd be the same. And you would too, don't deny it." Tony pointed his fork at him. "In fact, between you and Ducky, it's pot and kettle as to who's the more impatient patient."

"Says the guy who demands the paperwork to sign himself out as he's being wheeled in the door still bleeding."

"Point." Tony grinned, unrepentant. "Any news on when Ducky can fly back?"

Gibbs shook his head. "Won't let him fly for several weeks after the op, so another week maybe before he's home."

"And in the meantime, he's stuck down there… yeah, I can see how that would piss him off. It won't please Abby too much either. I think she's already planning Operation LAD."

Gibbs raised an eyebrow and Tony grinned.

"Operation Look After Ducky," Tony explained. "Not sure of the details yet but I'm betting it's a full on care package delivered at tornado speed."

Gibbs chuckled. "Yeah… that I can imagine. Gonna have to get her to dial it back a bit. Ducky won't like being fussed over."

Tony shook his head. "Oh no, I'm not getting in her way on that one… _you're_ gonna have to get her to dial it back a bit. She's not gonna listen to anyone else."

Gibbs rolled his eyes as he conceded Tony's point.

"You get from Vance what time Adams' funeral is tomorrow?" asked Tony.

"Yeah… four o'clock. His wife's okay with everyone coming to the funeral but not back to her house."

Tony nodded, grimacing in sympathy. "Understandable… she's got enough on her plate with kids who've just lost their dad without hosting a house full of strangers. You wanna share a car?"

Gibbs hesitated for a moment before shaking his head. "Got something I wanna do after."

"Well, at least you won't have far to go home afterwards." Tony sipped his beer. "Out of all the funerals we've gone to this past week, this one's at the nearest cemetery to Casa Gibbs, isn't it?"

Gibbs glanced at him quickly before nodding. "Yeah… yeah it is."

Tony paused as he saw a strange expression flit across Gibbs' face, but it was gone so quickly that he wasn't sure what to make of it and decided to leave it alone.

They continued eating until Gibbs pushed his empty plate away, with a satisfied sigh. "You should cook more often."

Tony gave him a shy pleased smile before shrugging. "For you… any time," he said simply and Gibbs stared at him. Feeling his ears burning, Tony got to his feet before the moment became too uncomfortable and headed for the coffee maker, nodding through to the living room. "Go… relax. I'll bring coffee out."

When Tony came through carrying coffee mugs, Gibbs was sprawled on his couch, head resting against the back, and Tony took a moment to absorb how relaxed the Marine appeared, his eyes drawn down the length of that long body. Gibbs was wearing his red hoodie and jeans and looked good enough to eat.

The whole quiet, intimate domesticity of recent evenings was like a fantasy come to life for Tony. Anyone who thought they knew the extrovert playboy side of him that he presented to the world, and which was mostly a mask, would be surprised at how content Tony could be with something so simple as evenings spent at home with someone he loved.

Handing Gibbs his coffee, Tony hesitated for a moment before sitting down next to him. Gibbs was positioned more towards the middle of the couch than he usually did, so as Tony settled back, their shoulders were touching and Tony was all too conscious of his closeness and the heat radiating off the Marine.

While he thought it had been going well and Gibbs hadn't seemed even remotely freaked out by Tony being more open around him, Tony hadn't yet made an overt move on the guy.

Partly because it was _Gibbs_ and Tony felt he still had to get over the mental hurdle that it could be a make or break move.

But also because Tony wasn't sure how he was going to stop and if he came on too strong, that might be a surefire way to alarm Gibbs. And admitting his feelings and getting them out in the open hadn't eased the tension at all for Tony.

It had only magnified just how much the Marine made his nerve endings hum whenever he was near.

So Tony was giving Gibbs ample opportunity to get used to the increased closeness slowly, keeping his touches subtle, and not pushing to get too near or too hands-on too soon, however much he wanted to.

But the fact that Gibbs hadn't taken any opportunity to back off, hadn't reacted negatively to Tony's touch, had even initiated some of his own, made Tony's stomach flip each time it happened…

… and, if Tony was honest, it had been more than he'd hoped for so soon.

Little by little, it was giving him more confidence.

Tony snagged the remote off the coffee table and grinned at Gibbs. "You in the mood for a movie?"

Gibbs smiled slightly, as if accepting the inevitable. "Which one?"

Tony's grin widened and Gibbs saw the mischief gleaming in the green eyes. "Got it all cued up… Harrison Ford, Air Force One. Thought it'd be good to watch someone shooting up the President's plane with the guy who actually _did_ shoot up Air Force One."

Gibbs laughed. "Hey… I didn't shoot it up, that was the other guy."

Tony smiled. "Yeah, well, that's not how Kate used to tell it. Besides, it's got one of my favourite movie lines ever, right at the end when Harrison tells Gary Oldman to 'get off my plane,'" Tony lowered his voice in a passable imitation and Gibbs smothered a grin.

"I remember."

"Although given the number of times he's played the bad guy, I'm surprised anyone lets Gary Oldman on a plane anymore… You ready?" Tony looked at Gibbs expectantly.

Gibbs sipped his coffee, smirking. "Shoot."

Tony snorted and shot him a look before starting the movie. As with all movies, Tony couldn't just sit and watch, quietly. There had to be a running commentary, usually complete with impersonations and the flagging of lines before the characters on the screen even got anywhere near them.

It was alternately annoying and amusing.

After listening for a while, Gibbs came to the conclusion that Tony's Jack was more accurate than his Harrison.

As the movie progressed, Tony kept glancing at Gibbs who eventually said, "What?"

"Just realized something, Jethro… you've got a Harrison Ford smirk vibe going on there… or is it the other way round? Very similar smiles. Did he copy you, huh?"

Gibbs rolled his eyes as Tony laughed.

Interspersed with comments on the movie, Tony talked about Kate and what she'd told him about her time on Air Force One in her years with the Secret Service, and Gibbs contributed some things that had happened on that plane which didn't make the report.

While it was still occasionally bittersweet talking about their colleague and friend, enough time had passed that they could both now talk about Kate with more fondness than pain.

Gibbs relaxed back into the comfortable couch, finding himself watching Tony almost as much as he did the movie.

Tony looked… happy.

He often looked happy but there were different kinds of happy with Tony and not all of them were genuine. Over the years, he'd learned to read each version, from the goofball trying to deflect Gibbs' temper to the quietly satisfied guy at the end of a successfully concluded case, and all those in between.

Now Gibbs was confident he could see past the masks to recognize what a truly happy Tony looked like.

And it wasn't often the mask dropped completely but it had happened a lot over the past couple of weeks, and now he could recognize the obvious contentment on Tony's face and in his smile tonight.

Sometimes it felt like looking at a side of Tony he'd rarely seen before.

It still seemed unlikely that he could be the reason for that?

Did he really make Tony happy?

Since Tony had confessed how he felt about him, Gibbs had caught the younger man looking at him more than once with open longing on his face. It had been such an honest expression that Gibbs wondered how many times in the past Tony had brought his undercover skills to bear to cover that up. Gibbs felt a flash of guilt that he hadn't spotted something before now, that he'd made Tony suffer by having to hide it.

As the movie ended, Tony eventually acknowledged his scrutiny, glancing his way. "What?"

Gibbs shook his head, about to brush it off but stopped.

This was partly why things always got difficult in his private life, giving in to his first instinct to close down and shut people out.

But he knew he could trust Tony.

And maybe trying to open up a little wouldn't be so hard when he knew Tony wouldn't deliberately hurt him.

And he owed it to Tony to try. The guy deserved a little honesty from Gibbs, given how Tony had put himself and his feelings so much on the line already.

"You look happy."

"Well, that's coz I am… you make me happy, just in case you didn't get that memo," Tony teased gently.

"It's been a long time since I made anybody happy, Tony," Gibbs confessed wryly. "I'm outta practice… You really sure about this? Wanting me?"

Surprised at the question, Tony turned to face Gibbs, looking at him seriously. "Never been more sure of anything in my life."

Gibbs looked down at his hands, eventually saying softly, "You're crazy… you know that. You know I'm a bastard and I screw up every relationship I touch."

Tony spread his hands, smiling. "And yet, here I am… and I screw up everything too, Jethro. You know that better than anyone." He nudged Gibbs, waiting till he looked up. "But, hey, we've got one thing going for us… we know each other really well… and I've been thinking about this and perhaps that's what's been missing for both of us for a while."

"Maybe. Sure feels like it sometimes." Gibbs conceded quietly. "You understand me better than most, that's for sure. But it won't be easy."

Tony laughed lightly. "Oh, I got that. Nothing with you ever is…" Gibbs shot him an amused glance. "And I know it's complicated… not sure if it makes it easier or more difficult if we work together… and yeah, you don't have to tell me about Rule 12. I haven't forgotten what happened last year with EJ. It wasn't my best moment."

"Nor mine."

Tony shifted slightly, uncomfortable at the memory of how they'd butted heads last year. "Although I think you should have a special sub-clause for that rule all of your own."

Gibbs saw the teasing glint in Tony's eyes. "Go on. I'll bite."

"Really?"

Gibbs smirked. "Oh, believe it."

Tony stared, feeling a rush of heat at the image that flashed into his head. "That's… a thought."

Was Gibbs actually _flirting_ with him?

From the boyish grin and steady gaze, it sure looked like it. Tony shook his head, seeing Gibbs' grin widen which really didn't help his concentration much.

Tony reached up to head slap himself. "Okay, focus, DiNozzo. As I was saying, you should have your own special sub-clause for Rule 12."

Gibbs raised an eyebrow. "Spit it out."

"You should _only _date a co-worker."

Gibbs let out a laugh. "Tried that. Crashed and burned. Why d'ya think Rule 12 is there in the first place?"

"Jenny."

Gibbs nodded slowly. "Yeah… Jenny."

"Yeah… well, I'm not gonna give up on how I'm feeling because of something that happened to you years ago with Jenny. So suck it up, Marine. Got it?"

Tony met Gibbs' gaze steadily as he let his arm rest along the back of the couch, his hand briefly squeezing Gibbs' neck, thumb stroking the warm skin, and the older man stared at him for a moment before nodding, his lips twitching. "Got it."

"Okay, I've give you another version… How about, you should only date _this _co-worker?"

Gibbs laughed. "You got an answer for everything, huh?"

Tony grinned, gaining confidence from Gibbs' reaction. "Pretty much. And you said it yourself, we know each other really well already. And I think you need someone who understands what happens on the job, who gets that you need space… who knows you're a bastard but wants you anyway, and doesn't try and change you."

"You got a point there."

He didn't have to watch what he said with Tony. He knew that whatever he said wasn't going to be ripped apart and a label stuck on it.

"And I need that too, Jethro," Tony continued softly, shifting to face front again, looking down at his hands as he confessed something he'd rarely felt comfortable acknowledging to himself, never mind anyone else.

"I need someone who understands me… gets _me_, not the me they think they know or see or want, which isn't me at all. Someone who gets what I need… lets me have that space too but knows when I need help snapping out of it…" Tony looked over, smiling sheepishly. "And I think that's you… so I wanna try working that out with you."

Gibbs reached over and slowly grasped Tony's hand, lacing their fingers together. "Okay then."

* * *

Later as he was ready to leave, Gibbs was conscious of Tony close behind him as he made for the door. As he reached it, he turned to find the younger man staring at him intently.

Tony watched as Gibbs blue eyes widened, that rarely seen vulnerable expression coming over his face. Tony steeled himself, stepping nearer before his courage failed him.

If this were anyone other than Gibbs, he'd have had them pinned against the door by now and well on the way to bed.

_Okay, Anthony, probably not the best image, given that's exactly what he wanted to do to Gibbs._

Taking a deep breath, Tony reached up to cup Gibbs' face in his hand, stroking his cheek lightly. Emboldened when the older man didn't pull away but merely held eye contact, Tony leaned in to brush his lips with a feather light touch against Gibbs' mouth.

He kissed his way slowly across Gibbs' lips, feeling the other man beginning to respond but letting Tony have control of the kiss, which had a warm, hesitant first time feel to it.

Tony tugged gently at Gibbs' bottom lip, one hand sliding slowly into the short hair on the back of Gibbs' neck as he savoured his first real taste and feel of the man. Tony registered in the back of his mind somewhere the feel of Gibbs' hands coming to rest on his waist, the strong fingers flexing into the muscles of his lower back.

As much as he wanted to deepen the kiss, Tony kept it light and tender, eventually pulling back, his heart pounding as he met Gibbs' eyes again. Steel blue was gazing at him warmly, the expression on Gibbs' face almost intrigued and Tony stood still as those eyes roamed over his face.

Gibbs reached up to lay his palm against Tony's cheek before his hand slid to Tony's neck and before Tony could react, he was pulled gently forward into another kiss… one which this time Gibbs controlled as he took possession of Tony's mouth.

Tony opened to Gibbs without hesitation, feeling a rush of heat spreading through him, swallowing a moan as he felt the first brush of Gibbs' tongue. Tony basked in the flurry of sensations as his body reacted to the kiss as Gibbs slowly, thoroughly explored his mouth…

… the hungry dominance he'd expected from Gibbs having an edge of tenderness that made Tony's heart squeeze in his chest.

Of course Gibbs tasted of coffee… he probably bled the stuff by now but there was also a hint of the beer he'd drunk tonight and something so obviously _Gibbs_, it was making Tony's blood hum in his veins, and not just from being on the receiving end of the intense focus Gibbs brought to everything he did.

Mouths moved leisurely, lips sliding and clinging and tongues teasing as Tony returned the kiss, trying to pour everything he felt for the man into it, until just as slowly, they backed off. Tony rested his forehead against Gibbs, their breaths still mingling, trying to calm down as he inhaled raggedly, shaken by something as simple as a kiss, his whole body aching for more.

Conscious his fingers were still stroking through Gibbs' hair, Tony slowed his caresses and raised his head, eyes searching Gibbs' face. Gibbs looked a little stunned but his eyes were warm and Tony's heartbeat ramped up again as that slow full-on grin spread across the Marine's face.

Tony returned the smile. "Wow… that was worth waiting for."

Gibbs' hand came up to cup his cheek, his thumb brushing across Tony's mouth, his voice more gravelly than usual which sent a shiver through Tony.

"It was."

Gibbs leaned in for a light kiss before releasing Tony and moving to the door. He turned, a half smile breaking out as he saw Tony standing there, still staring at him. "Night Tony."

TBC…


	13. Chapter 13: Still Burning

**Slow Burn**

**Chapter 13**** – Still Burning **

Tony had never gotten used to funerals.

Either as a small boy standing at the graveside of his mother, or later as a cop, and now as an agent.

All of the team had attended far too many over the years and they certainly didn't get any easier. And the last few weeks had added to the tally in a way none of them would have wanted.

Tony let his gaze run over the assembled gathering at the graveside, a mix of grieving family members, friends and co-workers from NCIS who'd worked with Agent Adams; those from his team clearly suffering the loss of a valued teammate standing with those who'd not known him well but had shown up at his funeral out of respect and a sense of solidarity.

Not all of the victims of the bombing were being buried in D.C.

Some had families out of state and their funerals were taking place in their home towns. But some of the dead had barely any family beyond the job itself and those funerals had been some of the bleakest.

Tony glanced over as Gibbs arrived at his side.

"Tell me this the last one." Tony winced at his own choice of words. "And… I didn't mean that to come out how it sounded."

Gibbs tilted his head. "I know, DiNozzo, and yeah, it's the last one… unless we lose someone else."

"Well, I won't be sorry to see the back of this black suit for a while," Tony admitted, "and not just because it's too hot to wear in summer."

Some people injured in the bombing were still in hospital and likely to remain there for some time, and there were several in intensive care whose outcome could still go either way.

Vance appeared on Gibbs' other side, his expression grim. "You ready?"

Gibbs nodded, following Vance towards Agent Adams' widow and kids, to pay their respects as Director and senior agent of the agency, and Tony watched them go. Gibbs looked particularly tired and strained today, almost distracted, and Tony pondered how best to help him this weekend.

Maybe seeing Leyla and Amira would help?

"Is he okay, Tony?"

Tony felt Abby's arm loop through his as she came up beside him. "Yeah, I think so, Abbs."

"Your functional mute doesn't seem a bit… off to you?"

"Maybe a bit." Tony eyed Abby. "What d'ya mean mine?"

"Well, you said it yourself, Tony," She squeezed his arm affectionately. "And it's true."

Tony looked over at Gibbs, watching him for a moment, taking in the familiar ramrod posture and air of controlled command the guy carried so naturally, the slight change in body language that had given away his weariness earlier all but gone, except if you knew where and how to look… like he did.

He glanced back at Abby, responding to her warm eyes and slight smile, patting her hand where it rested on his arm. "Yeah… mine. He'll be okay. It's been a heck of a strain. He's been carrying a lot these past few weeks."

"And so have you."

Tony shrugged that off. "Everyone has."

Abby gnawed her lip, her eyes drifting towards Gibbs. "I know, it's just… I dunno. Maybe I'm wrong but…"

"He's a bit distracted, I'll give you that one but I'll keep an eye on him."

Abby studied his face before nodding, apparently satisfied. "I know you will… and you look tired too, Tony, so don't forget yourself. Look, I'm heading for a drink afterwards with Ziva and Timmy, d'ya wanna come? Jimmy's heading home to Breena."

Tony shook his head. "Not today, Abby. You got it in one… I'm too tired. You go on without me."

Tony watched as Gibbs headed back in their direction, meeting his eyes. Tony nodded at the silent request as the Marine joined them and Tony kissed Abby quickly on the cheek and walked off to do his bit with platitudes he knew wouldn't help the family at all, but it was something they all felt obliged to do.

Gibbs pulled Abby into his side when he drew level, looking her over briefly. "You okay?"

Abby nodded, giving him a strained smile. "Yeah… it's just so sad. Those poor kids growing up without a father. I found a photograph of James earlier today… taken ages ago in my lab when it was Ducky's birthday. I'd forgotten I had it… He was a really nice guy."

"Good agent."

They fell silent for a few minutes, Gibbs watching Tony talking to the family with McGee at his side while Abby started sneaking a few glances at Gibbs. Becoming aware of her gaze, Gibbs turned his head, eyeing Abby a little warily. "Abbs?"

"Don't 'Abbs' me in that tone, Gibbs. I'm just concerned about you."

"No need." Gibbs glanced around quickly, surreptitiously checking who might be within earshot.

It was inevitable Abby would tackle him about what was going on with Tony, but he'd hoped she'd do it somewhere quiet and not where other ears could overhear them.

"Relax, will ya." She rested her head briefly on his shoulder. "I can be discreet too, you know I can… and anyway, I'm not going to say much at all."

Gibbs shook his head, huffing a quiet laugh. "That'll be the day."

She raised her head and squinted at his dry comment. "I'm serious, Gibbs." She studied him carefully, head on one side, and Gibbs stood still under her scrutiny. When Abby spoke, it was quietly and with a soft smile on her face. "I said to Tony you looked tired but… there's also something else now that I can see you up close. He's good for you, Gibbs."

He squeezed her shoulder reassuringly. "I know, Abbs. Just… let us work it out for ourselves, huh?"

"Sure… but it's gonna be great, I know it is. Just don't screw it up… and I've told Tony he mustn't screw it up either." She held up her hand. "And my lips are sealed, pinky promise. I know I talk a lot but you know you can trust me, right?"

Gibbs pressed a kiss to her cheek. "I know."

* * *

As everyone began to disperse from the graveside, Tony walked beside Gibbs as they headed for their respective cars. Even for Gibbs, he was quiet and Tony found himself occasionally glancing over at his profile as they walked.

He pushed down the urge to talk just to fill the silence but the more he studied the Marine, the more concerned Tony became that something was wrong.

His first thought was that it might be the kiss they'd shared last night.

Did Gibbs now regret it?

He hadn't seemed to at the time, and Tony could still conjure up the taste and feel of the older man. He'd woken up this morning still buzzing from how they'd moved things forward… from the trust Gibbs had shown him in allowing Tony to take the lead in that.

But in the long hours since, had Gibbs begun to freak out about it?

So by the time they reached their cars and Gibbs opened the door of the Challenger, Tony had worried himself around in a circle.

But as Gibbs bent into his car, Tony's attention was drawn to what was on the front seat and the realization of what might have Gibbs so distracted today slammed into him.

Silently cursing, Tony could have head slapped himself into the next state.

Gibbs picked up two white roses off the front seat and closed the car door behind him, standing holding them as he gazed at Tony, looking suddenly unsure of himself.

Tony stared at him.

_His girls. _

_Shannon and Kelly were buried here._

Of course they were. He'd almost said it himself yesterday when he'd commented on this being the closest cemetery to Gibbs' house.

Where else would they be buried but here?

And the roses were for them.

_You idiot, Anthony. _

The guy's got other things on his mind than what happened yesterday… not everything is about you. No wonder he's been distracted today.

Tony shook himself out of his thoughts and stepped closer. "I didn't realize your girls were here, Jethro, and I should have. I'm sorry."

"No reason why you should, Tony." Gibbs looked down at the roses in his hand.

"Were they… were white roses their favourite?" Tony asked tentatively.

Gibbs' face softened in a small smile. "Shannon's."

Feeling at a loss all of a sudden, Tony cleared his throat. "I'll leave you in peace… give you some privacy. I'll, um, I'll see you tomorrow."

Tony turned to move away, only to hear his name being called softly.

When he looked back, Gibbs was staring off into space, the struggle clearly visible on his face. Tony held still, waiting for he wasn't sure what but content to be patient while Gibbs worked through whatever was churning through his mind right now.

"Stay."

Tony's eyes widened. "Are you sure? I don't want to intrude."

Gibbs' eyes came back to his and he nodded. "I'm sure."

Feeling slightly overwhelmed at the sudden invitation, Tony wasn't sure what to say so merely nodded and stood still, waiting for Gibbs to make a move. He met the older man's gaze steadily, trying to pour all the reassurance he could into his eyes and expression.

Gibbs led the way through the quiet lanes of the cemetery, feeling slightly uneasy but resolved… helped by the patience and understanding Tony was showing him.

Tony walked beside him silently, not quite sure if he belonged here at all, feeling almost like an intruder. Glancing at him periodically, Tony saw his expression smooth out as Gibbs tried to control his emotions, but as always, it was given away by the blue eyes which looked so sad.

It wasn't far until Gibbs halted by a row of graves under the shade of a row of oak trees.

"I'll wait here," Tony offered quietly.

Gibbs nodded, not looking at him but over at a simple headstone set back from the path.

Tony watched as Gibbs walked over to the graveside and knelt before placing the roses onto the small headstone, his heart aching for the man as he saw the Marine trace the names gently.

Gibbs stayed kneeling for long minutes, obviously lost in his thoughts and memories.

Still stunned and not a little humbled that Gibbs was allowing him to not only share this place with him but to see him so vulnerable, Tony felt a wave of strong emotion wash over him.

He'd always known Gibbs still grieved for his girls.

How could he not?

But seeing the visible evidence of his grief and the final resting place of his wife and daughter was heartbreaking.

Eventually, Gibbs stood slowly and walked back to Tony, his eyes still carrying that haunted, defeated look Tony had come to recognize over the years… and which he'd come to realize he'd give anything to be able to ease.

Tony wanted nothing more than to put his arms round the older man and hold him, and while that wouldn't have looked entirely out of place in a cemetery, he knew he daren't risk it.

For one thing, Gibbs might not welcome it at the moment and there might have been a few people from NCIS still around after the funeral and that _would_ be hard to explain, so Tony contented himself with reaching out for Gibbs' arm as he drew level with him.

He squeezed his arm gently. "Thank you, Jethro… for sharing this."

Gibbs nodded but didn't reply.

"I wish I'd brought flowers," Tony told him.

"Next time maybe."

Tony stared at him, startled at the ready suggestion that there'd be a next time. "I'd like that."

He held still as Gibbs studied him seriously, heartened when the tension he could feel under his hand eased as the Marine nodded slightly in acknowledgement.

Tony fell into step beside Gibbs as they began walking back towards their cars, content to walk in silence, hoping but not sure if his presence was some support and comfort.

As they reached their cars, Tony paused before turning to Gibbs. "I'll, er, see you tomorrow. We still on for taking the table to Leyla?"

Gibbs nodded again. "Yeah." He paused before going on. "Tony… thanks. Haven't… haven't brought anyone else here, apart from Jack."

It had not been easy asking Tony to stay, but Gibbs felt he'd owed it to the younger man who'd shown nothing but understanding and compassion over his girls ever since he'd found out about them.

And Gibbs hadn't set out this morning planning to ask Tony to stay with him at the cemetery. It had been a spur of the moment thing, slipping out before he could have a chance to second guess himself and change his mind.

So now he felt vulnerable and a little uncomfortable but also surprisingly okay to share this private place with someone he trusted… someone who seemed to be carving an essential niche in his life.

And for the first time in a long time, Gibbs felt he wanted to share his girls… that it was maybe time to try and open up.

Tony blinked at the implication that Gibbs hadn't shared this with any of his ex-wives. "Then I'm honoured you've shared them with me, Jethro. I don't take it for granted." He paused, hesitating about asking. "Do you visit them often?"

Gibbs shook his head. "No... it's too much."

He couldn't come here on their birthdays or any anniversaries. The pain was just too much.

He hardly needed a reminder Shannon and Kelly were gone by standing at their graveside. He managed a handful of visits each year, preferring to remember them in the house where he had such vivid memories of them both.

Every important milestone in his life with his girls was tied up in that house.

"I can understand that. I'll come with you whenever you want me to… or leave you alone. Whatever you need." Tony rested his hand on Gibbs' shoulder. "On your six, Jethro, always."

Gibbs swallowed hard at the understanding on Tony's face. "I know, Tony." Gibbs saw Tony biting back something he wanted to say. "Go on. Ask."

Tony studied his face. "Will you tell me about them some day? I'd like to know what they were both like. One day… but only if you feel comfortable with that." Tony trailed off, wondering if he'd gone too far.

Gibbs nodded slowly. "Working on it."

TBC…


	14. Chapter 14: Smouldering

**Slow Burn**

A/N: the Kesterpan bunny farm is still smothering me in the pesky wee critters so bits of this chapter are entirely her fault. Big hugs to her and Gibbsredhoodie for helping me with it. Many thanks to all the alerts, reviews and follows – FFNet is playing up again so it wouldn't let me reply to everybody but please know every one is appreciated.

* * *

**Chapter 14**** – Smouldering**

"Please tell me that's not your new truck out front, Jethro."

Tony started down the basement stairs, grinning as Gibbs shot him a look.

"It's not my new truck."

Tony laughed at the dry comment. "Good… coz I gotta say that heap of junk looks even worse than your truck did _after_ the bombing."

"It's Ed's down the street."

Gibbs nodded into the darkened corner of the basement under the stairs, raising his coffee mug as if acknowledging someone sitting there, and suppressed a grin as Tony's eyes widened as he spun around. When he saw the empty corner, Tony glanced over his shoulder at the Marine, narrowing his eyes.

"Funny guy. You nearly got me there."

Gibbs' mouth twitched. "Borrowed the truck to move the table to Leyla's… it's either that or we strap it to the roof of your car."

"Ed's truck it is then."

Gibbs chuckled at Tony's quick reply and downed the rest of his coffee in one gulp. "All set?"

"Yup… guess so." Tony hesitated briefly before stepping close to Gibbs, who glanced up startled as Tony cupped his cheek, staring at him intently. "You okay… after yesterday?"

Gibbs swallowed, unsure if it was Tony's sudden nearness or the mention of yesterday at the cemetery that was making his throat go dry.

"Fine."

Tony studied him seriously for a few moments, eventually nodding as if satisfied with what he saw on his face, his thumb gently stroking Gibbs' cheek before he released him and stepped back.

"That's okay then. Was worried about you last night."

Gibbs heard the soft confession as Tony turned away and automatically reached out to rest a hand on his arm. He waited until Tony looked back at him. "Felt right you were there."

A wide smile broke out on Tony's face and his hand came up to squeeze Gibbs' where it lay on his arm. "Was glad to be there with you too. I know what it took to let me stay."

Before the moment could become too intense, Tony turned back to the table, his gaze moving over the padding Gibbs had tied to the legs and the corners. He looked beyond the table to the stairs again, grinning to himself at the trick Gibbs had pulled before frowning.

"Hang on… what's that?"

Gibbs resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "You only just noticed it, Agent Observant?"

"Well, yeah, I was too busy looking for phantom neighbours. What is it?" Tony pointed at the cloth covered _thing_ that he hadn't seen before tucked under the stairwell.

Gibbs gestured. "Take a look."

Tony shot him a look. "You're full of surprises this morning." He walked over and pulled off the dustsheet and staring for a moment at the unfamiliar object. "It's a chair."

A large armchair that looked old but comfortable and which he was positive he hadn't seen before anywhere in the house.

Gibbs came up beside him. "You should be an investigator, skills like that." Gibbs grinned as Tony sent him a mock glare. "Try it out."

Tony glanced at him, surprised before lowering himself into the chair, wary of any stray springs sticking into his butt like a lot of Gibbs' furniture. "Not bad… good chair for sprawling in. A bit lumpy but comfortable." He bounced and shifted in the chair, trying out different positions. "Where you been hiding it?"

Gibbs shook his head. "Haven't. Got it this week, secondhand. It'll be better for your back than those stairs."

Tony gaped at him as Gibbs turned back to finish wrapping the table leg. "You mean you got it for me?"

"Well, yeah, Tony… s'what I said."

"But…" Tony levered himself upright and moved slowly over to Gibbs, looking between him and the chair. "But… this… this is for _me?_"

Gibbs glanced at him curiously, nodding when Tony turned back to him. Before he could react, Tony had stepped close again and pulled him into a fierce hug. Taken by surprise at the strong reaction for something so ordinary, Gibbs nevertheless returned the embrace, enjoying the warm hug as the younger man's arms tightened around him and his head dropped onto his shoulder.

When Tony eventually released him and pulled back, looking sheepish, Gibbs shook his head, smiling. "It's just a chair, Tony."

It wasn't just a chair and 'promotion' from the stairs, and Tony knew it.

It was as if Gibbs was giving him a sign that he accepted Tony's presence in his house… in his life on a more permanent basis, and the chair was just a tangible indication of that.

It was typical of a Gibbs 'show and not tell.'

"I know but…" Tony waved his hand almost helplessly, not sure he could explain. "But it's not often anyone gets me anything like this… in fact, I can't remember the last time I had a present like this."

Gibbs' gut twisted at the quiet comment and the world of loneliness that could lie behind it.

He reached up to squeeze the back of Tony's neck, before ruffling his hair affectionately. "'Bout time I started then."

Tony's smile widened, his whole face lighting up. "Not gonna argue with that. Hey… does this mean I can work on you for cable or even a new TV to replace that ancient one?"

Gibbs snorted as he turned away. "Don't push your luck."

"Jethro." Gibbs turned at his softly voiced name. Tony leaned in to plant a light kiss on Gibbs' mouth. "Thank you."

Gibbs quirked a half smile. "Welcome."

Tony turned back to the table. "Right then… let's get this show on the road… or we won't get any of Leyla's cooking and that's a pretty big incentive."

Tony helped Gibbs finish wrapping the last table leg before they carried it up the basement stairs. It wasn't a large table but it was solid and awkward to manoeuvre, especially in a confined space. Tony walked backwards through the basement door into the kitchen, supporting his end of the table as Gibbs followed him through.

Glancing behind him, Tony stepped carefully around the dining table until they'd reached the hallway, talking all the way.

"Hey… did you hear the latest today on the rumour mill? About me and Ziva having wild sex in the elevator after the bombing as we were in there so long? As if we had nothing else on our minds in that damn elevator and we weren't worried at all about plunging to the ground floor leaving us with various limbs detached. I tell ya, some people in that building have nothing better to do with their days than gossip."

Preoccupied with not trapping his feet under the table legs as they carried it, Tony didn't look up until they reached the hallway. As they dropped the table to the floor just in front of the door, Tony finally glanced over at Gibbs and ground to a halt when he saw the guy's face… that carefully blank, emotionless stare that hinted at a lot of things churning away under the surface.

"Hey… it's just gossip, Jethro."

Gibbs nodded, his voice curt. "Yeah… I know that."

"Then why that look?"

Gibbs hesitated before replying.

Did he really want to have this conversation now?

It had to happen sometime, he knew that.

There was a history between Tony and Ziva that went beyond mere gossip and Gibbs knew he had to tackle it at some point if he wanted this _something _to continue with Tony.

And after the past couple of weeks, Gibbs was coming to realize more and more that he did want exactly that… that this _something_ with Tony was very much a _something._

Gibbs shrugged mentally.

So maybe now was as good a time as any to tackle the subject of Ziva?

Gibbs met Tony's eyes. "Wouldn't be the first rumour about you and Ziva."

"Yeah, but… don't tell me you ever believed any of them?" Tony looked concerned as he moved closer.

Gibbs shook his head, hesitating for too long, and Tony's expression took on an even more worried look as Gibbs answered.

"No."

"But? I can hear the but loud and clear, Jethro…" Tony reached out tentatively laying a hand on Gibbs' arm.

Gibbs sighed, shaking his head. "It's not a but, Tony."

"Well, it's a something, even I can see that…" Tony frowned. "Please don't tell me you don't trust me."

"Do trust you, Tony. I just…" Gibbs pulled away, turning to run a hand over the back of his neck.

"Then what is it?" Tony persisted.

"Ziva," Gibbs stated flatly. "She's got feelings for you."

It wasn't a question.

Tony smiled a little sadly. "Maybe… don't think Ziva knows quite what they are though. Sometimes I think she almost hates me and then... I dunno." Tony trailed off, shaking his head, looking off into the distance.

There were lots of times when he couldn't work Ziva out.

Hell, there were times when he was positive_ Ziva_ couldn't work Ziva out… especially when it came to how she felt about _him_.

He'd been attracted to her at first.

Any man with a pulse would have to be blind not to be and she'd been both an intriguing and annoying challenge from the start, all wrapped up in one beautiful package.

But even without Rule 12, Tony also couldn't ignore the many times Ziva had hurt him.

And as much as Tony cared about her, the lack of trust and the guilt left over from the mess around Rivkin had never really gone away completely, and Tony knew that was no basis on which to build any kind of closer relationship, even if he'd wanted to… which he didn't.

It was a wonder sometimes that their friendship and partnership had survived under the weight of it all.

Gibbs' voice drew him out of his thoughts.

"And you?"

Tony turned to face him. "My feelings for Ziva? She's my partner… my friend, but that's all, Jethro. All it'll ever be. She's like the exasperating kid sister I never had and I love her but she'd more than likely end up killing me rather than marrying me."

"That I can see." Gibbs quirked a half smile. "But didn't wanna stop you being happy if it's what you wanted, and don't wanna hurt Ziva's feelings…" Gibbs trailed off, not sure how he could express his conflict over the subject.

This wasn't an EJ situation all over again.

He knew that Tony cared about Ziva and he'd seen the young woman go through a whole gamut of emotions over Tony, from one extreme to the other, over the years.

But what Tony said next startled him and his gaze snapped back to the younger man as he stated quietly, "We're not you and Jenny, Jethro."

Tony waited till Gibbs tipped his head in acknowledgement before reaching out to rest his hand on Gibbs' shoulder. "Hey… were you worried? I mean, really worried?"

Gibbs shrugged, eyes searching Tony's face for a moment, making a conscious effort to relax his shoulders. "Crossed my mind. Wanted to clear the air but wasn't sure how… You gotta know I don't share."

"Well, then, uncross your mind," Tony teased gently with a grin, his hand squeezing the muscle under his touch. "Besides… I've got a feeling I won't have enough energy left to be sharing anything with anyone else anyway."

Gibbs' expression softened and he grinned as he stepped forward to crowd Tony against the wall. "You got that right."

Tony rested his hands on Gibbs' waist, feeling heat rush through him at the look in Gibbs' blue eyes, only inches away. "Good… coz there's no need to worry, really, and I'll keep telling you that every day until you start to believe me." He leaned in to kiss Gibbs softly.

Gibbs responded immediately and soon deepened the kiss. Tony felt himself reacting to the hint of possession in the way Gibbs explored his mouth and wrapped his arms around the older man as he returned the kiss eagerly.

When they broke for air, Tony rested his forehead against Gibbs. "Absolutely no sharing. Got it. And why would I want to share anyway when I've got all I want right here."

He felt Gibbs' hand squeeze the back of his neck and Tony leaned in for another kiss which rapidly intensified, the slow burning heat causing Tony's senses to ache as he responded.

When he pulled back from the kiss, there was a look almost of surprise on Gibbs' face, his eyes fixed on Tony's mouth and his thumb almost unconsciously stroking the skin of his neck before moving to his cheek.

"Wow," Tony murmured.

Gibbs' boyish grin broke out as his fingers moved over Tony's skin. "Yeah… wow… Still getting used to being on the receiving end of beard burn. Different."

Tony laughed. "Good different… bad different?"

Gibbs tilted his head as he considered, lips twitching. "Just different."

"It can chafe like a bitch."

There was that flare of heat again as Gibbs met his gaze as he got Tony's meaning. "I'll remember that."

Tony grinned after a moment, feeling he could stare at those eyes all day. "This isn't getting that table delivered, is it?"

Gibbs chuckled and Tony watched fascinated as his ears turned pink. Gibbs stepped back, releasing Tony with an a almost self-conscious smile.

Between them, they managed to get the table onto the back of the truck and secured.

Tony looked down from the back of the truck. "That it?"

"Almost." Gibbs disappeared back into the house and Tony jumped down from the truck and followed him back inside. By the time he'd reached the hallway, Gibbs had reappeared from the kitchen carrying a bunch of flowers.

Tony looked askance at the red tulips. "Those are for the girls, right?"

Gibbs raised an eyebrow, keeping his face impassive, only given away by the glint of amusement Tony could see in the blue eyes.

Tony laughed. "Oh no, you're not getting me a second time… anyway, they are so not my colour. I'll ask again, they are for the girls, right?"

Gibbs grinned. "Yup." He walked over to the door. "But this one's for you." He pulled a separately wrapped single flower from the back of the bunch, slapping it into Tony's chest as he passed.

Tony grabbed the flower reflexively, gaping at Gibbs' back as he walked swiftly outside. He looked down at the flower in his hand, mottled red and white and looking like a tulip but… not quite.

He followed Gibbs out to the truck. "This is for me? What for? What is it? I mean it looks like a tulip that's been nibbled by mice and painted by Amira." He waved the flower with its ragged edges and striking colouring.

Gibbs rolled his eyes as he pulled open the truck door. "Parrot Tulip."

"Parrot what?!" Tony examined the flower. "Never heard of it but then, that's not unusual coz plants and me, we don't get along too well, Jethro. Any pot plants I try and keep alive in my apartment give up the ghost pretty soon."

Tony hurriedly jumped into the passenger side of the truck as Gibbs gunned the engine.

"Jeez, what's the rush all of a sudden?" Tony buckled his safety belt and braced himself before looking over at Gibbs as he pulled out of his driveway. "Why Parrot Tulip? You saying I look like a parrot or I sound like one," Tony grinned as Gibbs shot him an amused look. "That's it, isn't it? You're trying to tell me I squawk like a parrot."

"If the shoe fits."

Tony laughed, watching Gibbs' smile, before settling back in his seat, feeling slightly self-conscious as he clutched his flower, so he placed it next to the larger bunch of tulips for Leyla on the seat between them.

The flower had been shoved at him almost as a joke but Tony knew Gibbs didn't do anything lightly and wondered at the meaning behind it, especially after the roses Gibbs had given his girls yesterday.

When he had a chance later, he'd look up the meaning of tulips and see if that gave him any clues. He looked over at Gibbs again, his eyes roaming over the rugged profile, the broad shoulders and strong hands gripping the wheel, feeling like he was getting new insights into the man every day.

His Marine was just full of surprises.

TBC…


	15. Chapter 15: Sparks of Life

**Slow Burn**

A/N: Apologies if I've missed thanking anyone for reviews… FFNet has been playing up and wouldn't let me reply. Probably about another three chapters after this one… provided I can sabotage Kesterpan's bunny launcher and stop her adding any more! And after last week's episode _Anonymous_, how could I miss out Amira's way of greeting Gibbs?!

* * *

**Chapter 15 – Sparks of Life**

As they pulled up outside Leyla's house, the front door opened and a dark haired mini whirlwind flew out of the door almost before Gibbs had even turned off the truck's engine.

"Gibbsy!"

Tony couldn't help his broad grin at Amira's usual greeting. She was probably the only one who could get away with calling the Marine something like that… although he'd put money on Abby trying and probably succeeding, even at the risk of her first head slap.

As Amira ran down the driveway, Tony watched that rare boyish grin he loved break out on Gibbs' face as he got out of the truck to greet Leyla's daughter, holding his arms wide. Gibbs scooped up the little girl as she reached him, swinging her up off the ground as Amira giggled, her arms going around his neck as she hugged him tight.

"Whoa… too heavy." Gibbs grunted, grinning as he lowered her to the ground.

"I'm not heavy!" Amira protested, laughing. "Hey Tony." She ran over to him, holding her arms up. "You don't think I'm heavy, do you?"

"Hi Amira… Don't listen to him, he's getting old." Tony bent and picked her up, staggering around as if under a heavy weight. "On the other hand… _noooo_… too much. Gotta agree, Boss, _waaay_ too heavy."

Amira punched him on the shoulder and giggled as Tony winced. "Hey! That hurt… and I know who you learned that move from. You're turning into a mini Abby."

"Totally!"

Tony joined in the laughter as he straightened up, holding Amira more firmly in his arms as the young girl clutched his neck. "Nah… okay… I give in, you're not heavy at all."

Leyla emerged from the house, walking down the driveway, smiling. "Hello Gibbs… Tony."

"Hey, Leyla," Tony replied as he put Amira down, ruffling her curls.

"So do I finally get to see my table? I've not been allowed in the basement while he was working on it," Leyla confided in Tony with a smile as Amira moved over to stand by Gibbs, slipping her hand into his.

"No patience," Gibbs teased. "Wait till we get it unloaded and unwrapped, you can see it properly then." Gibbs bent to kiss her cheek as Leyla reached them.

"Although you can see the bit that I did," Tony pointed. "Right there, Leyla… halfway down that side on the left… I sanded that… oh, and those two legs there, varnished with my own fair hands."

"Very impressive, Tony." Leyla chuckled before turning towards Gibbs. "If my daughter will let you go for one moment, Gibbs, the coffee is ready."

Tony laughed. "Ah, the magic words, Boss. Okay, on your mark, get set… and look at him go!"

Gibbs rolled his eyes, smirking as he wrapped an arm around Amira's shoulder and walked with her towards the house. "Grab the gear, DiNozzo."

Tony shook his head with a fond smile, picking up the flowers from the front seat of the truck. "I'll get these, shall I, Boss?" Tony called out after Gibbs' disappearing back. "Hey… what about the table?"

"Let's bring it in after lunch, Tony," Leyla suggested.

"Mmm, you're probably right… stand not between a Marine and his coffee, eh? Oh, and these are for you…" Tony held out the bunch of flowers with a flourish.

Leyla smiled, taking the tulips from Tony, burying her nose in the blooms and breathing in the scent. "Thank you."

"Well… I gotta confess, Gibbs bought them," Tony added. "Should've thought of it myself."

"I'm not keeping a record, Tony. Come into the house, let me put them in some water." Leyla turned towards the house.

Tony hesitated as he closed the truck door, leaving his own tulip on the seat. Leyla might think it was also for her and explanations could be awkward, so maybe it was best if he left it in the truck. It had its own vial of water so hopefully it wouldn't wilt.

Tony followed Leyla into the kitchen where Amira was babbling on excitedly to Gibbs, who was pouring coffee. "Mom says we can go to the park later and I can take my bike, and I wanna show Tony how high I can go on the climbing frame, and will you push me on the swings? And will you come outside now and play, oh, _please?_"

Tony shared a smile with Leyla as Gibbs let himself be dragged out into the back yard by Amira, clutching his coffee mug and unsuccessfully smothering a grin.

"I see the joint fan club is in full swing still," Tony commented.

Leyla nodded, opening a kitchen cupboard to lift down a vase. "She loves having you both here and Gibbs has always been wonderful with Amira, ever since she was very young."

"He's good with kids… always has been. Although I'm sure it would freak out half the agents at work if they could see him now… they don't know there's really a teddy bear underneath that terrifying exterior." Leyla shot him an amused look and Tony laughed. "Okay, maybe not a teddy bear, make that a grizzly bear with a marshmallow centre."

"He covers well… and so did Mike."

"And I bet Amira had Mike wrapped round her little finger, right?" Tony guessed.

"Always." They heard shrieks of girlish laughter outside and Leyla chuckled softly. "Gibbs too."

"Oh yeah… I noticed." Tony smiled before sobering and admitting quietly. "I like to think it's a bit like seeing a glimpse of how he was with Kelly."

"I'm sure it is." Leyla nodded, glancing at Tony as she filled the vase with water. "Mike told me a little about Kelly over the years, especially when Gibbs gave us his boat. I think Amira is about the same age now as Kelly was when she died. It must make it difficult for him sometimes."

"I'm sure he'd figure the good outweighs the bad memories. He's never more relaxed than when I see him like this with Amira… it's really nice to see," Tony confessed quietly as he leaned back against the counter, gazing off into the distance, momentarily unaware of Leyla' smile as she watched him.

Tony turned and Leyla turned her attention back to the tulips. "They look nice," he commented as Leyla finished arranging the flowers in the vase.

Leyla stood back, head tilted to one side. "They're beautiful. Gibbs knows I love tulips… so many different varieties and colours."

"I confess I don't know too much about them… other than when I've given them to women." Tony shrugged. "Although my fallback position is always roses. You can't go wrong with roses… especially black ones to Abby."

Leyla laughed. "Yes, I heard about her liking for those."

Tony grinned. "She's the only one I know who can view black roses as a romantic gesture… and not worry about their obvious meaning."

Leyla reached for two mugs and poured them both coffee. "I suppose we can take any meaning we wish to from a flower if we like it enough, and there are so many different meanings to choose from with most flowers."

Tony glanced at Leyla, surprised. "I didn't know you knew so much about them."

Leyla gave him a shy smile. "Only a little. It's an interesting subject."

Tony hesitated only briefly, trying to sound nonchalant as he gestured at the vase. "What do tulips mean then?"

"Oh, well, there are a few meanings I think." Leyla thought for a moment. "They can be given between lovers of course… or to convey a feeling of trust and loyalty… and I think they can also mean a renewal of warmth in someone's life, the return of love and hope."

Stunned, Tony stared at the tulips for a moment, not quite sure what to make of what Leyla said. Was that what Gibbs meant to convey to him with _his _flower or was it just a coincidence?

It made sense for the last sentiment to be so apt for Leyla and Amira… as they'd given Gibbs back so much in his life again.

Even though the reason Leyla and Amira were now here in D.C. was triggered by the trauma of losing Mike, helping the girls to move and looking out for them ever since, and being there as an honorary Uncle Gibbsy for Amira must have given a lot of meaning to the Marine's life.

Of course it couldn't be like having his girls back but Gibbs now had the opportunity to watch Amira grow up… something he'd been cruelly denied with Kelly. So while it was a wonderful opportunity, there had to be some bittersweet memories for the Marine as he was involved in Leyla and Amira's lives now.

But did the same sentiment of love and hope apply to _him_?

Anthony DiNozzo… Very Special Agent, loyal second and St Bernard, friend, hopeful lover… and failure at every relationship he'd ever attempted?

An explosion of girlish giggles drifted in from outside and Leyla laughed as she peered through the kitchen window before turning back with an impish gleam in her eye. "It looks like Gibbs might need rescuing, Tony."

Tony shook himself out of his thoughts and put his coffee mug down on the counter, grinning at Leyla. "On it, boss."

Tony opened the back door to find Gibbs flat on his back in the yard on a familiar Twister mat, with Amira sprawled sideways across his stomach, both of them almost helpless with laughter… and Tony felt a surge of strong emotion as he took in the sight of a Gibbs _laughing_, looking utterly relaxed, his arms around Amira.

Tony leaned against the doorframe, folding his arms. "Well, I gotta say that's not the usual way to play Twister. You're clearly not trying hard enough and need my help."

Amira giggled as she looked up at Tony, propping her elbows on Gibbs' stomach. "We fell over."

"Well, yeah, I can see that." Tony exchanged a grin with Gibbs.

"You knocked me over." Gibbs reached down to tickle Amira, who squealed and wriggled out of his grasp.

"I only leaned across you… like this," Amira made to repeat the movement, giggling as Gibbs threatened to tickle her again and she rolled away to land on her back next to him, "and we sorta collapsed." She held up her arms. "Help me, Tony."

"You mean they don't teach Twister in the Marines, Boss?" Tony sauntered over and pulled Amira to her feet and reached a hand down to help Gibbs up. "I'm shocked."

Tony waited till Amira ran back into the house before looking Gibbs up and down… relishing that warm gaze and the smile which took years off the Marine.

Tony grinned. "Twister, huh? I think Probie would have heart failure if we set it up in the bullpen, although it might be worth it just to see his face. Hey, maybe we could play it in Abby's lab… she'd love it. She'd have us all tied up in knots faster than you could say," Tony lowered his voice, "going for coffee."

Laughing, Tony ducked out of the way of the playful head slap before stepping closer to Gibbs and lowering his voice. "Or better yet, we could set it up in the basement coz I gotta say if we… no, make that _when_ we play Twister, it'll hopefully turn into a red light situation pretty fast."

Heat flashed in Gibbs' eyes and his gaze flicked down to Tony's mouth, his own relaxing into a crooked grin. "Count on it."

* * *

Much later that day, Gibbs was in the kitchen with Leyla, helping her move some things around to accommodate the new table. When they'd finished, Leyla stepped back, hands on hips as she surveyed the changes.

"Looks good," Gibbs commented.

Leyla smiled warmly, leaning up to kiss his cheek. "It does… thank you."

Gibbs tilted his head in acknowledgement as Leyla headed for the fridge. "It's quiet outside," he commented after a moment.

Leyla laughed. "Yes, I noticed that… I wonder who has fallen asleep exhausted."

"Nah, if it was DiNozzo, he'd be snoring by now. You want some help?"

"No, you go outside… relax for a while. Go on, go…" Leyla glanced his way, smothering a smile as she poured coffee and handed Gibbs the mugs. "Here… take this to your Tony."

Gibbs stared at her, startled but all Leyla did was give him a warm smile, patting his arm as she held the door open.

Leyla was a perceptive woman but Gibbs honestly hadn't realized the changes between himself and Tony would be that obvious, although she'd been giving him knowing smiles and looks all morning. She either knew him too well by now or she'd spotted something… which he guessed was possible.

He'd even startled himself today.

He hadn't intended giving Tony that tulip. It had been a spur of the moment thing, after he remembered thinking the other night about seeing Tony's face if he bought him flowers.

So he'd added the Parrot Tulip to the bunch for Leyla merely as a joke to start with, only realizing afterwards how it might be viewed by the man himself. As the assistant in the flower shop had wrapped up the tulips, she'd been babbling on about their meaning and it had dawned on Gibbs what message it might send to Tony.

So he'd spent a good part of the morning battling with a little bit of insecurity, wondering if he'd done the right thing and trying to get his head around it all.

And judging by Tony's shocked expression and nervous banter at the time, it was clear the younger man wasn't sure how to take the gesture either.

But then, if he were honest with himself, some of the meanings fit Tony, as much as they did Leyla and Amira.

The sight which greeted Gibbs as he walked outside caused him to smile inwardly as he approached the swing seat he'd set up months ago on Leyla's back porch.

Tony was sitting at one end of the seat with Amira curled up fast asleep in his lap, her head resting on his shoulder, her small hands fisted in his T-shirt. She looked as tired as Gibbs felt after spending the morning playing with his goddaughter in the park and trying to keep up with Tony. He wasn't sure which was more exhausting.

Tony looked up with a smile as Gibbs sat beside him on the seat, handing him coffee.

"Thanks… Gibbsy."

Tony grinned as Gibbs glared at him half-heartedly, his mouth quirking in a smile.

Tony gestured with his head at Amira. "The cushions weren't good enough… seems I'm a better pillow."

"I'll remember that."

And there was that flirting again… the intense blue eyes, deep voice and confident manner that promised so much.

Tony grinned. "I feel like a nap myself… she's worn me out."

"Looked the other way around for a while back there." Gibbs reached over to smooth Amira's curls back from her face but the child didn't stir, even when Tony shifted slightly, easing her into a more comfortable position against his arm.

"She's fun." Tony sipped his coffee. "Leyla want any help back there?"

Gibbs shook his head. "Says not. I got shooed outta the kitchen."

"Shooed, huh?" Tony snorted. "Hard to imagine you getting _shooed_ anywhere."

Gibbs chuckled. "It happens… you gonna argue with her?"

"Oh no, not me. I remember she even managed to boss Mike Franks around." Tony glanced down. "This one looks as if she could sleep the day away."

Gibbs watched Tony gazing down at Amira, wondering what he was thinking. Despite Tony's protests about feeling uncomfortable with kids, he got on well with Leyla's daughter and Amira adored him. It was a marked contrast to his usual unease around most children.

Gibbs remembered the day they'd spent here at Christmas and once Tony had gotten past his initial nerves with the girls, the younger man had seemed to enjoy himself, and had come here several times since… mostly to dinner or to help Gibbs with something for Leyla on the house.

"Amira's a lot easier to get along with than Fred, that's for sure," Tony revealed. "Wendy's kid didn't like me at all."

Gibbs shrugged. "Not surprising. You were dating his mom."

"Yeah, guess he was scared I was trying to replace his dad."

"Maybe," agreed Gibbs.

"I remember the same feeling when I was a kid… when dad remarried for the first couple of times. I thought he was trying to replace my mom and I resented the hell out of the new wives, even if they didn't last too long," Tony admitted quietly.

"You were young, Tony… and still hurting."

"Yeah… yeah, I was." Tony was silent for a while, lost in his memories. He glanced at Gibbs with a rueful smile. "Anyway, Wendy couldn't understand it. Thought I should've been able to get through to Fred and be best buddies real quick. So I doubt that helped the whole thing with Wendy second time around either. Doomed from the start… as I said before."

Gibbs let the silence drift for a moment. "You two discuss kids… the first time?"

"Yeah, but in a kinda vague someday we'll have them sorta thing." Tony shrugged. "We didn't have any definite plans but I knew Wendy wanted kids when we got together. To be honest, I never really thought of myself as father material… not after the kinda role model I had growing up, but I was willing to go along with it if that's what Wendy wanted."

"You're wrong. You'd have made a good dad."

Gibbs let his mind drift to the glimpses he'd seen of his alternate realities where Tony had had kids… with Kate.

Tony eyed him curiously before shrugging. "You're just trying to make me feel better."

Gibbs quirked an eyebrow. "Is it working?"

Tony smiled gently. "Maybe… but I'm not so sure, and we didn't talk about kids this time around either. But then it never lasted long enough for that, did it?"

"Guess not."

"Anyway it's great like this," Tony nodded to the sleeping girl in his lap, "when I can sort of borrow Amira like this and share her with you, but I get to hand her back at the end of the day. But I don't think I'm cut out for fatherhood… not day to day."

"Think you're doubting yourself again, Tony." Gibbs turned sideways slightly so he could see Tony's face more clearly.

"Maybe… but I'm not a natural at it like you. You are so great with kids… any kids. Used to envy you… watching you with the kids we met through cases. You remember Carson?" Tony waited till Gibbs nodded, smiling before going on. "He was great. Kids are drawn to you and it's really great watching you with Amira… it's like… like I imagine you were with Kelly."

Gibbs was silent for a long moment, gazing off into the distance before smiling slightly and meeting Tony's gaze. "Being a dad was one of the best experiences of my life. You shouldn't turn your back on it."

_And don't give it up for me._

The thought remained unsaid but from the gentle, understanding smile Tony gave him, Gibbs figured the younger man had heard him loud and clear.

"Oh, I don't think I'm doing too badly out of this deal so far, Jethro." Tony stared at him seriously for a moment. "What about you… You never thought of having another kid? Although I think I know the answer to that one already."

Gibbs shook his head, the familiar pain welling up and it took a moment or two to control it. "Too painful… couldn't go through the risk of losing another child, Tony."

Tony nodded. "Can understand that… even if lightning shouldn't strike twice."

"Still couldn't."

Tony rested a hand on Gibbs' leg, watching his face and the glimpse of the anguish the older man couldn't quite hide. "Sorry… didn't mean to…"

Gibbs covered his hand and Tony twisted his over to entwine their fingers. "S'kay, Tony… Don't mind you asking."

Tony smiled, shaking his head slightly. "Who are you and what have you done with my functional mute?"

Gibbs returned his smile briefly, looking sheepish. "He can talk when he needs to"

"Yes, he can… and does and says just what I need to hear." Tony squeezed his hand.

Tony felt he was getting a glimpse of the guy who'd gotten four women to marry him and the more he saw, the harder he fell.

He was still getting over the shock of the chair, never mind the flower. The chair itself was huge enough and Tony wasn't blind to the implications. Gibbs could have given him the key to the house and it could hardly have meant more… well, it would have if the guy ever locked his damn door.

Tony looked down at their joined hands. "Y'know, I'll have to be careful Leyla doesn't catch me doing this. Might leave me with some s'plaining to do, Lucy."

"No need to tell her."

Tony stilled and started to withdraw his hand. "No, you're right… no need at all to tell her about this."

Gibbs saw Tony's face and felt the sudden tension under his fingers and gripped his hand tightly to stop Tony pulling away, reading the not so carefully hidden hurt at the thought Gibbs wanted to hide them.

"Hey… didn't mean that. She's already guessed I think."

Tony's eyes widened. "She has?"

Gibbs smiled. "Oh yeah."

"And are you okay with that?" Tony asked, surprised.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Gibbs shrugged. "She's family. We gotta keep this quiet from almost everyone else coz of work but that doesn't mean I'm ashamed of this… of us."

Tony smiled widely and stared at Gibbs who paused in the act of swigging his coffee. "What?"

"You said us." Tony pointed out.

Gibbs rolled his eyes. "Well, yeah… thought that was the point of all this. You okay with Leyla knowing?"

"I'm very okay with it."

"Good." Gibbs nodded briefly.

He was too.

In fact, he was surprising himself with how comfortable he was with it all.

The kiss yesterday and the ones this morning had been more than okay… the remembered taste and feel of the young man in his arms had only made him want more.

He'd always believed in his head about gender being irrelevant but had never thought to experience it himself, simply because he'd never been this close to another man – either mentally or physically.

And far from freaking out about kissing Tony and touching him, his body was starting to tell him that he wanted the same again and so much more.

And the armchair he'd been thinking about for a while anyway, even before they moved this _something _on beyond friendship. He'd meant what he'd said… it _was_ better for Tony's back, although he'd long remember the surprise and joy on Tony's face for something so simple.

But the invitation yesterday at the cemetery had been as spur of the moment as the flower today, and all had more of a significance than he'd be able to explain, even to himself.

But it all felt right to make an effort.

More right than anything had in a very long time… and maybe it was time to share something else with Tony.

"You got plans next weekend?"

Tony glanced his way. "Not thought that far ahead yet. Why? You got plans?"

Gibbs nodded but didn't elaborate, supressing a smile when Tony lasted barely half a minute before asking his next question.

"These plans involve me?"

Another nod was all he got and Tony grinned as he saw the amusement lurking in the blue eyes. "You're not gonna tell me, are you? Not even a tiny clue."

Gibbs considered for a moment. "Bring your hiking boots."

Tony looked alarmed. "I knew it… you're taking me up in the hills to lose me. It's gonna be some bad ass Marine survival thing and if I make it back by Monday, I can keep my job."

Gibbs smiled. "Don't put ideas in my head." He looked over at Tony. "It's a surprise." Gibbs knew Tony was going to plague him all week and he was going to have just as much fun not telling him.

Tony rolled his eyes. "Well, I got that much… I like surprises."

"No, you like working out what the surprises are."

Tony glared at him. "Jethro… you're an evil man."

Gibbs grinned. "Ain't got started yet."

TBC…


	16. Chapter 16: Campfire

**Slow Burn**

A/N: Spoilers for _Extreme Prejudice_ and _Damned if you Do_. A short diversion into cabin land. Anyone who reads my Gabby _Seasons_ tags will know I'm obsessed with it! I am also using the same back story for the cabin that I used in _Seasons_, and have Bamacrush to thank for thinking of it in the first place. As always, huge tackle hugs to Kesterpan and Gibbsredhoodie… without whom, this fic would be half the length it is and we'd all have gone home by now! *grin*

* * *

**Chapter 16 – Campfire**

_A cabin!_

There was no end to the surprises Gibbs had pulled lately, and Tony was loving every minute of it.

First a new truck that _was_ actually _new_ and now _this_.

Tony chuckled to himself as he headed back up the path to the lake, after collecting their lunch from the truck. He emerged from the trees to find Gibbs sitting on the dock, legs dangling over the side, fishing rod in hand, the small rowing boat they'd decided not to take out this time moored at the end.

The sun glinted off his silver hair and Gibbs looked relaxed, turning to give Tony a warm smile as he approached. Tony couldn't resist an answering smile as he took in the way those blue eyes crinkled at the corners and the mouth crooked in a boyish grin.

Not usually a fan of plaid shirts – _was there anything Sears didn't sell?_ – Tony thought he could experience a rapid conversion if the results looked like this; the sleeves rolled up and drawing attention to the strong tanned forearms and large hands.

The man looked good enough to eat, never mind the lunch Tony was carrying.

"You hungry?"

Gibbs glanced up at him. "I could eat."

"Good coz I'm starving. I'm not sure we've brought enough to last the day and I'm no good to anyone if my blood sugar drops, you know that… and I don't know if you noticed, Jethro, but we're in the middle of nowhere here and I can hardly run out to a 7-Eleven and stock up."

Tony dumped the bag containing their lunch beside Gibbs before dropping down to sit on the dock next to the Marine, who eyed him before announcing dryly, "You'll live."

"Y'know, as I was walking back through the trees there, it crossed my mind that you might have done a disappearing act on me." Tony handed over a sandwich, grinning as Gibbs raised an eyebrow. "Not that I'm trying to give you any ideas, but I'm still not convinced you haven't brought me all the way out here so you can abandon me in the woods and expect me to find my way home like McBoyScout."

"What makes you think I haven't?" asked Gibbs around a mouthful of food.

Tony stared at him, squinting as he saw the gleam of amusement in the blue eyes, not entirely convinced Gibbs wouldn't pull… something like that. "Then I'm just gonna have to keep you under my nose the entire time."

Tony waved his sandwich. "Or maybe I should've disabled the truck so you can't drive off and leave me." That got him a look and he grinned. "Or maybe just frisk you for the key and only give it back when we leave."

Gibbs chuckled. "Good luck with that."

Tony raised an eyebrow as he let his eyes run down Gibbs' body. "It'd be fun trying though." That got him another look, this one with a lot more intensity behind it and Tony smiled happily as he tucked into his food.

They hadn't managed to spend much time together in the week. The caseload had been too heavy and most nights all both men had managed to do was go to their separate homes, eat and sleep, so this day was the first one they'd had a chance to relax together. They were planning to spend the day here but go back to D.C. later as it was a school night.

Enjoying both the quiet of the place and the man beside him, Tony was content to take in his surroundings but found himself more and more drawn to watch Gibbs' profile, savouring a rare opportunity to look at him without having to worry about schooling his face so as to not give away what he was thinking and feeling to anyone else.

It was equally rare they were somewhere so private that it was unlikely they were overlooked, but Gibbs had reassured him there were no immediate neighbours.

Conscious of Tony's gaze, Gibbs turned his head before raising his eyebrow. "What?"

"Nothing… just admiring the view."

Gibbs rolled his eyes and faced front again but Tony could see the brief quirk of his mouth which gave away his amusement.

"And… admiring all this." Tony gestured with his hand at the lake and surrounding woodland.

The lake wasn't that large and was completely surrounded by woodland, with no other visible properties along the water's edge and judging by the lack of noise, the nearest roads were some way off.

It was the kind of place that had _Gibbs_ written all over it.

"And a cabin?! I mean it's _you_ building a _cabin_."

Gibbs gave him a look that clearly said 'so?' and Tony grinned.

"Okay, I know it's wood and therefore, a no brainer where you're concerned and I shouldn't be surprised because you built a boat… several boats, in fact." A thought struck Tony. "Hey, you're not planning on burning the cabin when it's built, are you, like you did with the boat before last… or make that the two boats before The Kelly?"

Gibbs shook his head, lips twitching. "Not planning to."

"Good, coz I gotta say there's something awesome about the idea of you going all Grizzly Adams on us."

Gibbs snorted. "Not gonna move here, Tony. Just using it… getting away."

He was pleased about Tony's enthusiasm and had been looking forward to sharing his plans for the cabin with the younger man… he had a feeling Tony would understand the place and what it meant to him more than anyone.

"I get it, Jethro." Tony cocked his head as he considered. "It's a basement in the woods."

Gibbs nodded, something in his blue gaze that Tony couldn't put a label on but which he liked to see as it softened his whole face. "Yeah, somethin' like that."

"Complete with…" Tony waved his hands, "critters, large and small… and that's not the critters from the 1986 movie, which were small furry aliens lunching on the locals in a farming town. Although if they are critters that bite and sting and growl, they probably would eat me, given half a chance."

Gibbs looked Tony over. "Not their fault if there's tempting meat around."

Tony laughed, enjoying that flash of heat in Gibbs' gaze he was seeing more and more. "Thank you… I think."

"And they were here first." Gibbs pointed out.

"Yeah… I know, and they may get annoyed with you for moving into their territory and staking a claim."

Gibbs shook his head. "Not planning on bothering 'em, city boy."

"Hey, Marine, I've watched Bonanza. I can fit in."

Tony nudged Gibbs, who could no longer contain his smile. Tony basked in the boyish grin and twinkling blue eyes, amazed all over again that he could make Gibbs look like that… that he seemed to make him happy.

The more time they spent together outside of work, the more everything seemed so at ease and comfortable.

Tony reached for his hand, enjoying the way Gibbs not only let him but entwined their fingers firmly and rested both their hands on his leg. "Seriously, Jethro. It means a lot that you've brought me here… to share this whole place and watch you build it."

"Help me build it." Gibbs corrected him.

"You mean you trust me with woodwork?" Tony teased with a grin, pretending shock. "Oh boy… Now that's what I call responsibility."

Gibbs chuckled. "Some things I can't do by myself, Skippy. Got a Marine buddy who can help with some of it or he can do stuff while we're not here, but it'll be good to have some help." He held Tony's gaze for a moment. "Wanna share it with you."

Tony blinked, absorbing that for a second, wondering if he could take it as another indication of the long term nature of what Gibbs was _maybe_ trying to tell him.

Mentally admonishing himself not to overthink it too much, Tony grinned and leaned in to plant a light kiss on Gibbs' mouth. "And I wanna share it. I love that I'm here, Jethro… that I can watch all this take shape. You'll have to show me how, y'know. I mean on the plans too, I wanna see what you intend doing, even if I won't understand half of it. It's quite an undertaking, right?"

Gibbs wrapped a hand around the side of Tony's neck and pulled him in for a longer kiss which Tony returned eagerly, his arm looping around Gibbs' waist.

Gibbs eyed him when he pulled back. "Gotta build it right. Build it strong."

Tony got the feeling Gibbs wasn't only referring to the cabin and he cleared his throat before he could find his voice. "Copy that… and that takes two, right?"

Gibbs nodded, squeezing Tony's neck, his hand warm, the gesture somehow more intimate than the kiss. "Yeah… yeah, it does, Tony."

Tony grinned, his face lighting up. "Good thing I'm here then."

Gibbs tilted his head, his eyes warm. "Yeah, it is."

Tony's eyes roamed over his face, feeling a strong surge of emotion and he couldn't help but lean in again, taking Gibbs' mouth in a kiss that intensified rapidly.

When it ended, Tony felt a surge of satisfaction that Gibbs' breathing was as ragged as his own, his blue eyes dazed.

"Wow…" Tony grinned, reaching up to stroke his thumb gently over Gibbs' cheek, all too aware his other hand was gripping a strong thigh and Gibbs' hand had slipped around his back to anchor him in place.

Gibbs grinned back. "Yeah… wow."

Tony laughed as he pulled back, untwisting from the awkward angle and feeling the need to dial down the heat lest he leap on the guy right here and now. "Okay, moving on and calming down." He rummaged in the lunch bag to see if there was any food left. "Hey, I forgot to tell ya… My parrot finally wilted." Tony paused and looked up. "And I gotta say that's a weird sentence more worthy of Abby than me, but anyway… it wilted, shedding petals into Kate's bowl. I don't think she was too pleased."

"It lasted."

"It did…" Tony hesitated, stopping his fidgeting and looking at Gibbs. "Never thanked you for it… you know what that flower meant, right? The meaning, I mean…" he trailed off lamely, suddenly nervous he was pushing Gibbs to admit something he was uncomfortable with.

Gibbs held his gaze steadily. "Yeah, I know, Tony."

"Right," Tony stared back, feeling warmth rolling through him as he absorbed that. He reached for Gibbs' hand, waiting a few moments before he could find his voice again and move onto safer ground. "Will you show me the rest of the place later? You said there was more that's yours on the other side of the clearing."

Gibbs had shown him around the immediate area surrounding where he was planning to build the cabin and had briefly pointed out the boundaries of the property where it ran down to the lake further along the shoreline.

"Sure, we can take a walk around before we drive back."

"So, do you come here often?" Tony asked, before huffing a laugh. "And that sounds like a very bad pick-up line worthy of McRomeo."

Gibbs quirked a half smile. "Try to… not had much chance these past few months but been working on the plans for the cabin anyway and also got the road in cleared."

His relationship with Ryan and the hunt for Dearing had taken up a lot of time, and he'd never mentioned the place to Ryan. He had a feeling she wouldn't have liked it out here much anyway and wouldn't really _get_ why he loved it here… and he really hadn't been in the mood for one of her long winded psycho-babble guesses about what needing this cabin really meant to him.

Tony's question brought him out of his thoughts. "But it was Mike's to start with, right?"

Gibbs nodded. "Yup. He bought the land and used to come out here, fishing… get his head right."

Tony looked around. "I can imagine that. We all need ways of doing that, of unwinding and burying what we see. With me it's movies, my apartment and my music, with a little sex thrown in." At Gibbs' look, Tony rolled his eyes. "Okay, a lot of sex thrown in. With you it's wood… and women… and bourbon," Tony added with a cheeky grin. "And I can see how it'd be fishing with Mike… and women… and tequila."

Gibbs smirked. "Method's the same. Location's different."

"Result's the same too, I guess. I'm surprised he never wanted a cabin here too." Tony saw Gibbs' expression and he smiled. "Oh, he did, huh? And I bet he wanted you to build it for him too." When Gibbs grinned, Tony burst out laughing. "I knew it! Yeah, that sounds like Mike… But he kept hold of the land when he retired."

Gibbs nodded. "Yeah… not sure why he didn't get rid of it."

Gibbs was pretty sure Mike had shared this place _just_ with him through the years they'd known one another, maybe because his mentor figured _his _probie would understand it and appreciate what this hideaway meant to him.

"Maybe he knew you'd still wanna use it? Maybe that's why he gave it to you now?" suggested Tony.

"Maybe." Gibbs shrugged. "Or he coulda figured the land'd be worth something some day."

"And Leyla didn't want it you said?"

Gibbs shook his head. "But she'll get it eventually, from me, and she can sell the land if she wants. Should be worth a bit." He figured that Mike knew he'd leave it to Leyla as well, trusted Gibbs to look after _his _girls.

It was another one of those unspoken rules that never needed articulating between them.

"Has Leyla seen it? Have they been up here?"

"Yeah. Brought the girls here a couple of times. Amira loves it. She swims like a fish." Gibbs smiled at the memory.

Tony grinned in return. "I'd like to see that some day. Not quite Baja but peaceful enough I guess."

Tony was quiet for a while before an inevitable question flashed through his head and he started to blurt it out before he could stop himself. "Did you… I mean, have you…" Tony trailed off, biting off his words and shifting his gaze to the water.

Gibbs rested a hand on the back of Tony's neck, massaging the muscle gently as he answered. "Not brought anyone else here, Tony."

Tony leaned into his touch and turned his head to meet Gibbs' eyes. "You haven't?"

Gibbs shook his head. "No one."

That meant no Ryan, no Hollis, no ex-wives.

Tony stared at Gibbs for a moment. "Then that means a heck of a lot that you've brought me here, Jethro."

A final squeeze of his neck and Gibbs released him. "We can come back when ya like, Tony. We've gotta lot to do."

Gibbs noticed the smile that lit up Tony's face and the soft chuckle he gave and nudged him. "What?"

Tony eyed him. "You keep saying _we_… does that mean you're okay with us? That you think we're okay as a… we? As a something?" He couldn't help his lingering insecurity.

Gibbs saw the vulnerability hovering under the surface in Tony's green eyes and wanted nothing more than to make it go away.

"Yeah, I do. I'm more than okay with it, Tony."

Gibbs was surprised with how 'okay' he was, how comfortable he was feeling with it all so far.

He still wasn't sure if part of it was the contrast with how uncomfortable his relationship with Ryan became towards the end, and he didn't want to be unfair to Tony by using him as some kind of… comfort blanket because everything was instantly so easy and familiar with him, and Gibbs didn't want to be alone.

"That's good coz I think it's going great," Tony told him softly, "and I don't know if you need to hear me say this but I'm gonna say it anyway, that I really wanna make this work, wanna work at being what you need. Not really had that before… not like this and it feels good."

Gibbs nodded, not sure he could trust his voice to reply but from the patient smile Tony was giving him, he figured the younger man understood what he was unable to articulate, as he always did.

Tony looked down at their entwined fingers before going on quietly. "I said I'd give you as much time as you needed and I meant it. You take as much time as you need but you know me, I gotta have regular sit reps." He glanced over at Gibbs. "As long as I know you want this… want us to continue."

"Do want this… want more too." Gibbs gestured between them. "Feels good."

Another surprise, and a welcome one, was how good it had felt physically between them and Gibbs definitely wanted to explore that more.

Tony relinquished his hand and turned sideways to face Gibbs, sitting cross-legged. "So we… us… _this_ doesn't freak you out… physically, I mean?"

"You couldn't tell?" Gibbs quirked a grin. "Must be doing somethin' wrong."

Tony laughed. "Oh, you're not doing anything wrong, trust me. I'm just checking in."

Gibbs suddenly pushed him and startled, Tony tumbled backwards onto the dock and before he could recover his balance, Gibbs was crawling over him. He came to a halt with his arms framing Tony's head, gazing down at the younger man seriously. Tony lay there, his hands gripping the front of Gibbs' shirt, wanting so much to pull him down on top of him but willing himself to let Gibbs set the pace.

With a brief smile, Gibbs lowered his head and kissed Tony gently, lips lingering, tugging and sliding and Tony opened his mouth to welcome him in, teasing Gibbs with his tongue. With a soft groan, Gibbs deepened the kiss and their tongues tangled as both men took turns dominating the kiss.

Gibbs settled his body against Tony's and the younger man couldn't help a moan into Gibbs' mouth at the feeling of the Marine stretched full length on top of him. Tony let his hands roam over his back, learning the feel of the solid muscles as Gibbs seemed intent on kissing him into the dock.

When Gibbs broke the kiss, he nuzzled his way across Tony's face to his neck, finding Tony's pulse point with his mouth and causing the younger man to shiver. He raised his head eventually, grinning at the hazy look he got from green eyes.

Tony's hands were anchored around his back, holding him in place and Gibbs let the jolt of need wash through him as he felt Tony's reaction pressed against him.

His voice was hoarse to his own ears. "That any better?"

Tony cleared his throat, a slow smile spreading across his face as his hands came up to slide into Gibbs' hair, leaning up to kiss him softly. "Well, I might need regular replays, you know how slow on the uptake I can be."

Gibbs snorted and rolled off Tony to rest on his back next to him on the dock. "I can do that."

Tony turned on his side, head propped on one hand and stared down at Gibbs. "I'm glad you're okay with _us _though… was worried you were being polite." Gibbs shot him a look. "Yeah, I know… it's you we're talking about, you don't do polite. But I… I care about you and I didn't want all this to turn you off."

Tony stumbled over his words, stopping himself in time from telling Gibbs he loved him. That might definitely qualify as way too much, way too soon.

"Turns me on, Tony. Kinda surprised by that," Gibbs admitted quietly.

Tony ducked his head. "Good or bad surprise?"

"Definitely good." Gibbs reached up to card his fingers through Tony's hair.

"We can go as slow as you want… don't wanna do anything that makes you uncomfortable."

"Sounds good." Gibbs felt nervous too, which was less welcome but he figured years of instinct would take over when they really were in bed. It was the one part of a relationship he usually got right. He was just crap at the rest of it. "But then I figure it's just you, Tony, not… not men in general. That make any sense?"

"Yeah, it does… and I'm glad it's just me too, coz I don't wanna share you either and it's gonna be bad enough beating 'em off with a stick. And I gotta tell you, trying to keep my hands to myself sometimes has been really hard these past few weeks… Pun intended." Tony looked down the line of Gibbs' body. "Wouldn't take much for me to take it further right now… however much I don't like exposing my ass to critters that sting."

Gibbs grinned. "My bones are too old for fooling around out here." He stroked the side of Tony's face. "Wanna go further but in bed."

Tony grinned and leaned down to snatch another kiss. "Sounds good and I definitely wanna see you stretched out in bed so I can show you how much I want you. Besides if we tried anything here, we might roll right off the dock into the water."

"Better be my bed too."

"Not your couch?" Tony teased.

"We'd fall off there too. And there's no room for both of us in your small bed."

Tony rested a hand on Gibbs' chest, picking at the shirt buttons. "I've been thinking about that and I'm gonna get a bigger bed."

Gibbs stared at him for a moment. "Thought that was your bed just to sleep in."

He knew Tony's whole apartment was his refuge and that he didn't bring dates home. He'd long ago gotten over being startled to find a single bed in Tony's room, understanding his reasons.

"Think it's time to share it," Tony admitted softly.

Gibbs nodded slowly, covering Tony's hand on his chest, knowing what it meant to Tony to let anyone into his sanctuary.

"Anyway, if we're going to spend time there… together, then we might as well be comfortable." A thought struck him. "Hey… you're gonna build a bed for the cabin, aren't you?"

Gibbs laughed. "Wondered when that would cross your mind. Yeah, there'll be a bed."

Tony narrowed his eyes. "A bed big enough I mean… not some narrow cot against the wall."

Gibbs rolled his eyes. "Was gonna be but guess I'd better build a bigger one… or you'll hog all the space."

Tony grinned, flopping down on his back. "That's the idea. I'll make it worth your while."

"Oh, count on that." Gibbs reached down for Tony's hand, turning his head to eye him seriously for a moment. "We okay? You're not still worried, are you? Coz I wanna make it right, make the effort but you know I'm crap at… talking about all this _stuff_."

"No kidding."

"You've been patient, Tony… it's more than I deserve."

In a lot of ways, Tony had taken control over the past weeks, taking the big steps when the time felt right, but letting things move forward at Gibbs' pace. It was a role reversal in many ways, but there wasn't anyone else Gibbs would trust to take charge like this, especially in a relationship.

"It's okay, Jethro… I get it." Tony squeezed his hand. "You're showing me by everything you're doing. Bringing me here, that chair you got me… and not forgetting my parrot," Tony grinned before sobering, "But most of all, letting me be with you when you visited your girls."

Tony wasn't blind to how huge it was for Gibbs to share or do any _one_ of those things, let alone all of them; it was stuff he perhaps hadn't shared with Ryan or any woman before.

"Something triggered this worry though."

Tony gave him a rueful smile. "You know me too well. Yeah, I was just a bit worried this week… you were distracted and I was anxious it was because you were having second thoughts."

"Not about us, Tony." Gibbs paused for a moment, not surprised Tony had picked up on his distraction but not wanting to explain it yet. "Got something on my mind… to do with work."

"Care to share?"

Gibbs shook his head. "Not yet. Let me work it through. Got a few things lined up to figure it out and then you'll know."

Tony studied him seriously for a long moment, sensing there was more but deciding not to push for now. "Okay… I'll hold you to that."

TBC…


	17. Chapter 17: Into the Fire

**Slow Burn**

A/N: Spoilers for _Extreme Prejudice_, with some bits taken directly from the episode_._ These last 3 chapters will be mostly dealing with the fallout from events in canon… tackling Dearing for the final time. Well, you didn't expect it to be all sweetness and light, did you? ;)

* * *

**Chapter 17 – Into the Fire **

Gibbs paused in the doorway of the lab, taking in the familiar scene as he watched Abby work, her head bobbing to the noise she called music… a fleeting thought crossing his mind that this might be one of many cherished parts of his life he could be seeing for the last time today.

But he had to believe what he was going to do was worth it… and it was if it kept the people he loved from harm.

Kept his family safe.

That is, if Abby or Tony didn't kill him first before he even got out of the building.

Gibbs had been tempted to leave without seeing Abby but she'd never forgive him if he did. And he wanted to see her, to say goodbye in his own way, even if this wasn't going to be easy for either of them… and he had a fair idea what her reaction would be.

While Abby's back was turned, he moved up quietly behind her, planting a Caf!Pow next to her on the workbench.

Abby jumped when she realised he was there and spun round, grabbing for the remote to mute her music, a wide smile spreading across her face. "Hey, Bossman! You're here! This is early for one of these babies, even for me but…" She grabbed the drink as he made to move it away, "not that I'm going to say no." She took a slurp of the drink and then slammed it down on her workbench turning to him with an expectant smile. "Do you need something, Gibbs? Coz I'm drowning in evidence from Balboa but just say the word and I'll squeeeeeze you in."

Gibbs shook his head. "Don't need anything, Abbs. Not this time. Just heading out."

"Oh… okay. McGee didn't mention a break in a case." She eyed him warily, something in his face obviously giving her pause. "Where are you going?"

"Dearing."

Abby's eyes widened. "Oh… So you figured out where he is?"

Gibbs nodded but didn't reply.

Abby stared for a moment, gnawing her lip, before launching herself at him and he patted her back as she hugged him tightly. "Then be careful, Gibbs, you and my three musketeers, you watch each others' sixes and come back safe, you hear me? I'd better go and see them before you all go."

Abby stepped back but Gibbs caught her arm as she made to leave. "No need, Abbs. They're staying."

Her eyes narrowed as Abby studied him for a long moment before she shook her head and turned back to her workbench, her arms crossed and a familiar mutinous expression taking over her face. "Are you crazy?"

Gibbs sighed inwardly, unsurprised at her reaction but feeling a flicker of irritation, his voice a warning. "Abbs…"

She held her hand up in his face, keeping her gaze averted. "No! I don't wanna hear it."

He waited her out and it only took a short time of standing quietly and staring at her before she broke and turned to face him again, hands on her hips, glaring angrily. "Okay, I do wanna hear it but you're gonna listen first. I can't believe you're doing this, Gibbs… _again_. Going all Lone Ranger again, and without Tonto… without several Tontos."

Gibbs kept his face impassive. "It's necessary."

Abby was never happy with him going on his own, whatever the case. It was a familiar argument they'd had many times and the outcome rarely varied.

She ripped him a new one.

He glared.

She got upset.

And he did it anyway.

Abby narrowed her eyes and punched him on the arm. "No… no, it's not necessary."

"Hey!" Gibbs rubbed his arm, glaring back but it just made her jaw set in a stubborn line and amid his feelings of irritation, there was more than a sliver of pride that she always stood up to him.

"You're going after him and you're going alone! How can that be necessary?" Abby waved her hands. "You should be going in there with your team at your back… or preferably an entire platoon of beefy Marines. I mean it always goes _sooo_ well when you go off on your own, doesn't it?"

Gibbs felt his own jaw clenching at her sarcasm. "Have to."

"It's not worth it, Gibbs, to risk your life like this… I mean I know you risk your lives all the time, it's part of the job but _this_… this is different, however important it is to get… _him._ It could be a trap."

"S'why I'm going alone."

Abby stared at him, her eyes clearly showing her distress and worry. "If one of the team pulled this, you'd head slap them into the next state."

Gibbs stepped close, putting his hands on her shoulders and squeezing. "That's why I need to go alone, Abbs." When she opened her mouth to speak again, he held up his finger and Abby subsided. "Whether we all go or it's just me, if it's a trap, the outcome's the same. Somebody dies. Not gonna risk everyone else." He paused, holding her gaze. "Need to know they're all safe."

He waited while Abby turned that over in her mind and she eventually sighed, her shoulders slumping, her angry expression softening and when she spoke again, her voice sounded resigned. "And what do they say to that? What does Tony say? You can't tell me they like it… they never do when you do this… and I hate it."

"They don't know yet. Gonna tell 'em now."

"Well, good luck with that… Just… just come back safe, Gibbs… Promise me you'll try to come back safe." Abby's eyes filled with tears as she hurled herself at him again, wrapping her arms around his neck in a bone crushing hug. "I'm scared."

He held her until she pulled back and he cupped her cheek, swiping a tear with his thumb. "No tears, Abbs." He kissed her cheek, allowing himself one last look in case it _was_ the last, letting his eyes take in her familiar features. "Look after yourself."

Abby sniffed, wiping her eyes as she composed herself before staring at him seriously. "And you've got to take care of yourself too, Gibbs… for Tony."

* * *

In the bullpen, Tony watched while Gibbs threw a few things into his backpack, conscious of Ziva at her desk almost vibrating with anxiety and exasperation, and Tim doing the same thing… but more quietly.

"Don't give it to him, McGee. He's being a stubborn fool."

Tony inwardly winced at the look Gibbs shot Ziva in response to her remark.

_Not the way to handle the bear, Ziver. _

Ziva rolled her eyes before conceding reluctantly, "Okay… he's being stubborn."

"Ziva is upset." Tony put in.

Gibbs shot him a look and Tony got the feeling the Marine knew he'd meant _Tony _was as upset as the rest of them.

McGee approached Gibbs' desk, holding out a piece of paper. "You sure you don't want me to go with you, Boss?"

Tony felt a glow of pride at the offer his Probie was making in all seriousness, even though if anyone was going to be on Gibbs' six today, it was going to be him.

But Tony could sympathize with the worry being exhibited so openly by his teammates for their Boss as he shared it, in spades.

Shouldering his backpack, Gibbs strode away from his desk, turning as he reached the corner, and Tony got the feeling he was carefully avoiding eye contact with him as the Marine's gaze moved swiftly over Ziva and McGee before nodding.

"Watch out for each other."

Rising to his feet, Tony trotted after Gibbs as he headed for the elevator, slipping inside just as the doors were closing, not caring what Ziva and McGee thought of his actions. Hopefully, they'd just figure he was going to give Gibbs a hard time professionally and not realize the very real personal fear that was gripping him by the throat.

Gibbs eyed him briefly, his face expressionless, and Tony stood at his side, facing front, without speaking. Tony waited until the elevator began moving before reaching out to flip the switch and braced automatically against the jolt of it coming to a stop, both of them bathed in the familiar blue light.

If Tony hadn't been so worried about Gibbs, he might have spared more than a thought about triggering an emergency stop in Gibbs' 'office' for the first time since the bombing.

Tony stayed facing forward, aware of Gibbs' gaze as he tried to order his thoughts and work out the best way to tackle the Marine. He didn't want to trigger Gibbs' temper as that would get him nowhere, but Tony was equally resolved to make the man realize how worried he was by this unwelcome turn of events.

Gibbs' distraction last week had been explained when the body down in autopsy was revealed to be not Harper Dearing but his brother. Ever since then, Tony had seen this coming and he didn't like it one bit… even if he understood it and knew how much it fitted Gibbs' psyche what he was about to do now.

All that didn't make it any easier to accept.

Gibbs was going Lone Wolf on them all again.

He was going to confront Dearing on his own.

They hadn't spent a lot of time together outside of work this week as they'd been too busy and he'd also given him the space Tony sensed Gibbs needed, even though he worried if that was the right thing to do this time.

No good usually came of Gibbs going off grid.

_Yeah, right, Anthony… you going for understatement of the decade there? _

As his Senior Field Agent, Tony had no problem getting in Gibbs' face to challenge him. But as he was still finding his feet as a partner in this very new, very tentative, very precious relationship, Tony was less sure how to handle things… when to push Gibbs and when to back off without damaging _them_.

But if Gibbs was putting himself in harm's way again, then all bets were off and there was no point holding back.

He might never see the guy again.

An impatient growl brought him out of his thoughts. "Spit it out, DiNozzo."

Tony turned to face Gibbs. "Okay, Boss, I get it. I get what you need to do and why you're going after Dearing and hey, I even understand why you want to do it this way… but it doesn't mean I have to like it."

Conscious of Gibbs' increasing glare, Tony held up a hand to try to forestall any comments before he got it all out. "In fact, I'll go further. I hate it. And I know I can't stop you coz that's not gonna work… it never does, but I really don't like not being on your six. In case you've forgotten, it's my job… both on and off… the job."

Gibbs had hoped that Tony would leave it, this time… would not tackle him but it was perhaps naïve to think he wouldn't, especially given how Abby had reacted just now.

Tony had never been afraid to confront him when they were merely boss and subordinate, and then friends. Now they were more, it would be out of character if Tony didn't make it clear that he was pissed at what was happening.

Gibbs hoped he wasn't about to screw things up… again, and before they'd even gotten started.

He knew Tony understood more than most of the women in his life ever had about his job as an agent, his life. Being in the same profession helped in that way at least.

But it also made Tony more aware of the dangers and less likely to let Gibbs get away with too much. He'd been able to hide a lot of what went on at work and the risks he took from his wives as they were never exposed to it in the same way. They just had to deal with the aftermath.

Tony was different, in so many ways.

"You done?"

"Yes… and no." Tony stepped right into Gibbs' personal space, meeting the steel blue glare steadily as they stood almost nose to nose. "Do you really have to go alone?"

Gibbs suppressed his exasperation at going over the same ground he'd just covered with Abby. "He'll vanish again if I don't."

"And you know this how?" Tony demanded.

"I know."

Some days Tony hated Gibbs' deep down, visceral, in-his-gut certainty and this was one of them.

"He'll be waiting for you, you know that, right?" Tony tried a change of tack, knowing already by the stubborn set of Gibbs' jaw that he was wasting his breath.

Gibbs nodded. "Countin' on it."

"So he'll have had time to work out a trap. He's had plenty of time to work out how to take you out, along with himself, the house and half the surrounding countryside."

Gibbs just stared at Tony with an unreadable expression. "Worth the risk."

Tony ran his hand over his head, feeling his anger warring with his worry and sadness as he turned away. "Not sure I agree with you on that one either, Gibbs. You ever gonna realize that you're also worth saving?"

When he got no answer, Tony braced his arms on the railing around the elevator, leaning forward with his head down as he tried to bring himself under control again, fighting down a sense of loss before it had even happened.

Gibbs just stood there, shifting slightly on his feet, trying to keep his own anger in check. He wanted to reach out to Tony but wasn't sure the younger man would welcome it, and was unsure what to say to make it right anyway, and afraid he'd just make it worse.

He usually did.

After a long minute, Tony eventually glanced over, surprising Gibbs by switching direction. "You seen Abby yet?"

Gibbs raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah."

Tony smiled briefly, guessing her reaction. "She's pissed, right?"

"Very." Gibbs paused. "Look after her Tony and… yourself."

Tony stepped forward again, crowding Gibbs against the elevator wall. He came to a stop, arms braced on either side of Gibbs' head, staring at him, taking in the slightly startled expression in the blue eyes.

He laid his palm against Gibbs' cheek. "You come home to me, you hear me, Marine."

Gibbs' expression softened, his heart squeezing in his chest at the raw emotion on Tony's face and in his voice. "Copy that." He pulled the younger man into a hug, folding his arms around him tightly and pressing a soft kiss to his hair. "Planning to, Tony."

Tony closed his eyes, dropping his forehead to Gibbs' shoulder, trying to control the pain that rose up at the thought of losing Gibbs… that this could be the last time he held him or saw him like this.

Tony turned his head and pressed a kiss to Gibbs' neck, wanting to nuzzle against that strength and warmth and not let him go but forcing himself to step back. He drew in a deep breath, holding Gibbs' eyes. "Gonna hold you to that, Jethro… I… I just found you, don't wanna lose you now."

Gibbs reached up, squeezing the side of Tony's neck. "Got a reason to come home now."

TBC…


	18. Chapter 18: No Smoke Without Fire

**Slow Burn**

A/N: Spoilers for _Extreme Prejudice_.

* * *

**Chapter 18 – No Smoke Without Fire **

"It's done."

Tony gripped the phone tightly as Gibbs' gruff voice rolled into his ear, feeling a surge of relief that it was over and Gibbs was alive… and presumably in one piece? Although with Gibbs, getting him to even admit he was hurt was never easy but that didn't mean Tony wouldn't try.

"You okay? Are you hurt?"

Tony could almost see the eyeroll as Gibb replied. "I'm fine."

"And Dearing?"

"Dead."

Biting back a barrage of questions, Tony took a deep breath as he leaned back on his couch. "So it's over… I mean really, finally over."

He heard Gibbs sigh. "Yeah, Tony, it's over."

"Where are you?" Tony asked after a few seconds of silence.

"Just finishing up at the scene. Heading back soon."

"Heading home. Sounds good. You'll be glad to get back to Casa Gibbs and down in that basement for some quality wood time."

There was a long pause as Tony waited for the click of the phone going off, wishing he could see Gibbs, to read what he was thinking and to see if the Marine really was okay.

This phone call felt a bit like uncharted waters.

It wasn't just his boss checking in after an op. It was his partner, in every sense of the word, as far as Tony was concerned.

So while Tony believed that gave him licence to push Gibbs with more questions than the Marine would normally have allowed him to get away with, it still gave Tony an odd feeling doing so, as if he was cautiously tiptoeing around in a minefield.

Tony guessed they were going to have to work out how to handle _stuff _like this as a couple.

But whether Gibbs saw it that way was another matter entirely. Although from what the Marine said next, maybe… just maybe he felt the difference too?

When Gibbs spoke again, his voice was quiet but heartfelt and it curled around Tony like a warm hand.

"Thought I had orders to come home to you."

Tony's breath caught in his throat, unable to stop the wide smile spreading across his face. "You did… and you do… Does that mean you wouldn't say no to some company tonight?"

"If it's yours…" Gibbs paused and Tony heard the uncertainty in his voice when he spoke again. "If you wanna be there."

"Oh, I wanna be there alright. Just try and stop me." Tony was already on his feet and grabbing keys and phone from the table on his way to the door. "On my way… how long will it take you to get back?"

"A few hours."

"Have you eaten? I guess probably not is the answer to that one if you're still at the scene." Tony pulled his apartment door closed behind him and set off down the hallway. "A better question would be, are you hungry? I've eaten… but you know me, I can always eat again. I could start on something while I'm waiting for you… that's assuming I can find anything in your kitchen that actually resembles food, or we can order takeout when you get back if you want?"

Tony was interrupted by a quiet chuckle and he paused, laughing a trifle self-consciously. "I'm sounding like your mother again, aren't I?"

"Ya think."

"Not an impersonation I wanna practice, believe me." Tony diverted to the stairs, too impatient to wait for the elevator. "Okay then, I'll stop fussing and get over there right now, though I can't promise I won't grab you when you get there." Tony paused for a moment in his descent and leaned against the wall, eyes closing for a moment as the tension that had gripped him all day began to ease. "Jethro, I'm…" His voice failed him and he cleared his throat before he could go on. "I'm real glad you're okay."

There was a long pause before the quiet reply. "Me too, Tony."

* * *

Unable to settle to anything at Gibbs' house, over the past few hours Tony had restlessly moved from the couch to the basement and _his _armchair and back up to the couch again. He'd made a few calls, to Abby and Ziva and McGee, just to pass on the news that Gibbs was okay, and was currently attempting to fill the time by reading a book but kept catching himself glancing at his watch, convinced it had either stopped or was going backwards.

Tony had compromised on the food, picking up chicken and pasta from his favourite Italian restaurant which he could reheat when Gibbs arrived… whenever that might be.

Headlights flashed across the window and the distinctive sound of Gibbs' truck reached Tony's ears as it pulled onto the driveway, and he scrambled off the couch.

_Finally._

By the time Tony had turned on the oven, removed two beers from the fridge and popped the caps, the front door opened. Tony peered around the kitchen doorway to watch Gibbs drop his backpack just inside the door. "Hey… welcome home."

Gibbs huffed out a breath when he saw Tony, his face softening in a brief smile. Tony approached, holding back the urge to grab the older man and pin him against the nearest wall and show him how relieved he was that Gibbs was here… and safe.

"Just put some food on, it'll be about half an hour. Thought you might like one of these." Tony handed him a beer and Gibbs nodded his thanks before taking a sip.

Tony's eyes roamed over the Marine's face, taking in the obvious tiredness Gibbs was making no effort to hide, and let his gaze move down the line of his body, eyes snagging on the sleeve of his jacket.

"What the…?" Alarmed, Tony grabbed Gibbs' arm, turning the jacket to the light, taking in the blood soaking the material.

"It's not mine."

Tony shot him a look. "Glad to hear it… and even more relieved it's Dearing's."

"Guess he was after suicide by cop." Gibbs commented after a moment.

"Looks like he got it." Tony could see the tension in Gibbs' body language and it triggered warning bells in his head but he wasn't sure why for the moment. "So the place wasn't booby trapped?"

Gibbs shook his head. "Nope… they cleared the house afterwards. Nothing there. He just had a gun."

"But you got there first." Reading the position and spatter of blood on the sleeve, Tony felt his stomach clench. "Gunshot? No… s'not right for that." He looked at Gibbs expectantly but guessing what he was about to say.

Gibbs pulled his arm away from Tony's grasp, simply stating, "Knife."

"Up close and personal… jeez, Gibbs." Tony ran a hand over his hair. "When I said it wasn't as satisfying taking this guy out from a distance, I didn't mean for you to take it to heart. It wasn't an instruction, you know, merely a comment."

Gibbs shrugged out of his jacket, his voice tight. "It's done. Does it matter how?"

Tony felt his own annoyance build. "No… no, I guess not. Why should it matter that you took a big risk again when you didn't need to?"

Gibbs didn't reply, just stared at him silently, and Tony shook his head, turning away, starting to pace the hallway. "And a knife?! Why the hell didn't you use a gun? Or better yet, put your sniper hat back on and take him out from a distance?"

Once started, Tony found himself unable to stop, all the worry and fear from the day pouring out, choosing to ignore the increasing irritation he could see in Gibbs. "Why weren't you in the woods outside the house with your rifle… holed up somewhere to the west for a nice window shot. There was cover within 200 metres and that's nothing for you."

At Gibbs' expression of surprise and annoyance, Tony nodded, stepping toe to toe with him. "Yeah, I checked, we all did… and if we couldn't have seen what we needed to easily, McSatellite was all prepared to hack into… wherever it was he was going to hack into… So we saw the layout of the place and Ziva spent half the afternoon wearing a groove in the floor giving us a blow by blow account of how she'd attack the place single handed, which wasn't helping our nerves any… although McGee did manage to remove all her paperclip ammunition in a brave lightning raid while she was going for coffee. And Abby was in a foul mood too. Every time I escaped down there, I either got hugged to within an inch of my life or had my ear bent for news, in between her growling at anyone else who dared set foot in her lab. It was not a fun time, let me tell ya."

Not fun was an understatement to describe the day they'd had, with Ziva lashing out at anyone who ventured close, McGee doing his quietly frantic worried act and an Abby who was very pissed off and close to panic.

Gibbs just stared at him impassively until Tony felt himself run out of steam. He turned away, heading for the kitchen, bracing his hands on the counter, breathing deeply to try and calm down. Fully expecting Gibbs to storm off to the basement any second, Tony turned in surprise when Gibbs merely followed him into the kitchen and stood there, looking at him expectantly.

Tony sighed. "Look, I get that Dearing blaming you must've preyed on your mind, even though _none_ of this was your fault, Jethro. His son made his own choices… and so did Dearing… and you know that, deep down, don't you?" He waited till Gibbs nodded before going on in a quieter voice. "So… why face to face?"

Gibbs didn't reply immediately and Tony waited him out, even though he could see the Marine's temper was held in check by a thread, his jaw clenched and as tense as the way he held himself.

Eventually, Gibbs sighed and his posture eased fractionally and Tony released the breath he'd been unconsciously holding. Gibbs ran his hand over the back of his neck. "Wanted to see him. Try and understand."

"And did you?"

Gibbs shrugged. "Maybe, maybe not. Guess he needed to see me too… s'why he didn't blow the place up or run. He was waiting for me. Expected me to show up alone."

"And whatever he wants he gets?"

"What d'ya want me to say, DiNozzo?" Gibbs snapped, his eyes flashing anger. "It's done. Does how really matter? So what if I went there alone?"

"Oh, coz you going Lone Wolf always works out so well, doesn't it? I have such fond memories of my swim in the Potomac. I shoulda been on your six, Gibbs." Tony shot back, inwardly wincing as he played the 'Maddie card' which he'd never done before, and certainly didn't want to make a habit of, and saw it hit home with Gibbs.

He got no satisfaction from the flash of guilt that shot through the Marine's eyes.

It took a few seconds for Gibbs to get himself under control before he replied. "Maybe not but it was necessary." Gibbs straightened, holding his gaze. "I _know _it was necessary."

"And when your mind's made up, your mind's made up… or should I say your gut. Yeah, I know…" Tony leaned back against the counter, feeling drained at the familiar argument that he never seemed to win. He scrubbed his hands over his face. "Okay, to be continued next time you do the same thing, which I know you will some day, but I guess what matters is you're here and in one piece."

"You gonna react like this every time I'm in danger now we're… involved?" Gibbs moved to stand next to Tony, looking at him warily. "Coz if you are, we could have a problem."

"Maybe I think we're worth the effort," Tony replied so quietly Gibbs wondered if he was talking to himself. Tony turned to face Gibbs, his voice stronger. "And you don't always go Lone Wolf though, do you? At work, if I'm on your six, then I guess I just feel better about it, feel more in control… and I know it's part of the job and always will be."

Tony sighed when Gibbs didn't speak and averted his gaze as he tried to articulate what he had a hard time thinking through. "But, yeah, I guess personally it has hit me harder this time. I'm finding it difficult to suck it up and move on and focus on what's important, like I usually can. I can't turn off my emotions and how I feel about you just like that, not when something like this happens… when you still don't value your life and choose not to consider that you're important… very important to the people who care about you. You turn the situation around, Jethro. Put yourself in my shoes. You'd be as pissed as I feel right now, wouldn't you?"

Gibbs studied him for a moment before nodding reluctantly. "Guess so… I'd trust your judgement though."

Tony's head shot up at that. "You sure about that?"

Gibbs nodded, this time decisively, determined to at least temper one of Tony's many insecurities.

Tony sighed, meeting Gibbs' steady gaze. His voice softened as he confessed. "Scared the crap outta me, Jethro. I was scared I was gonna lose the best part of my life. Scared I was gonna lose someone I… someone I care about." He bit off the 'L' word again before he could slip up.

"But you didn't. Not gonna argue with you, Tony… it's done. Up to you if you can put it behind you." Gibbs reached out to squeeze Tony's shoulder. "Gonna take a shower."

Tony watched the tall figure head upstairs, wondering if he'd gone too far and just ruined everything?

TBC…


	19. Chapter 19: Going Down in Flames

**Slow Burn**

A/N: Final chapter and spoilers for _Extreme Prejudice_… and thanks to Triggerhappyjax for letting me use a chapter title bunny she inadvertently lobbed my way in a review. Thanks for all the support in the reviews and alerts; every one of them is much appreciated, and huge hugs to Kesterpan and Gibbsredhoodie for their support and help with this story.

* * *

**Chapter 19 – Going Down in Flames **

Gibbs braced his hands on the wall of the shower, the hot water beating down on his shoulders and back, letting the heat soak into his muscles, hoping it would ease some of the lingering tension he felt.

He got it.

He understood Tony's anger.

Had even expected it.

Tony wouldn't be the man he was if he didn't get right up in Gibbs' face when he needed to challenge him. He expected nothing less. So he could have predicted almost everything Tony said to him… had spent the drive home mentally preparing for it.

But Gibbs had also hoped that Tony would be the one person to accept why he did things this way and understand why it had gone down the way it had with Dearing.

One thing did stand out though from what Tony had said.

_Maybe I think we're worth the effort_

It had almost slipped past him in the volley of words, but it was startling enough in its raw honesty to hit home harder than anything else Tony had said tonight… and pretty much summed up the entire problem in a few words.

Perhaps it was what Tony had felt his entire life?

_Worth the effort._

Maybe everyone important in Tony's life had made him feel like he wasn't worth that effort… his father's intermittent and ineffective presence in his life… Wendy not even giving their marriage a chance… Jeanne reluctant to even try seeing beyond what Tony had to do for his job to the man beneath…

… and now him, not able or unwilling to temper his Lone Wolf tendencies for Tony… for _them._

He knew Tony wasn't trying to change him.

He was just fighting for them, for their relationship.

Tony was realistic enough to know what Gibbs' limits were, but the younger man was just trying to draw a line in the sand for their personal relationship. A reminder that he wanted Gibbs to start thinking of Tony and _them _both on and off the job… and Gibbs had to accept that and go with it, if he could.

And he found himself wanting to, as hard as it would be.

He hadn't valued another person and their role in his life like this since Shannon.

So maybe it was time he showed Tony that he _was_ worth the effort.

* * *

The food was heated through and Tony was just dishing it up by the time Gibbs finished in the shower. Tony had spent the intervening time worrying over what had happened, whether he'd gone too far, and replaying Gibbs' words over and over in his head, concerned about the impact of this on their relationship.

Tony thought it would be typical that he'd screw things up.

He always did in the end.

Tony glanced over his shoulder as Gibbs entered the kitchen, still towel-drying his hair and despite his lingering anxiety, he felt desire coil through him at the sight of the Marine in a white T-shirt and sleep pants, his hair still damp and sticking up all over.

Tony mustered up a smile. "Food's ready… beer's on the table."

Tony turned back to the counter, jumping slightly as strong arms wrapped around his waist from behind.

Gibbs pressed a kiss to the sensitive skin on back of his neck, causing Tony to shiver involuntarily. Gibbs' voice was low and gravelly next to his ear. "I get it, Tony. Can't promise it won't happen again but I can try and consider us more. Best I can do."

For Gibbs, that was almost a full blown apology.

The guy must have done some thinking in the shower and for him to actually make the first move to bridge this gap between them Tony knew was a big step for Gibbs.

Warmed by more than just the arms around him, Tony closed his eyes and leaned back against Gibbs. "Then I'll take it…" He turned his head to meet Gibbs' eyes. "And in answer to your question, no, we're not gonna have a problem. Guess I'll have to work harder at accepting it, if you can work harder at making sure I've got your back, whatever's happening, and try to remember there's two of us in _this_… this something."

Gibbs tightened his arms briefly before letting Tony go. He moved to stand next to him, leaning back against the counter and gazing at him seriously. "Working on it."

Tony's face relaxed and he stepped close to quickly pull Gibbs back into a tight hug, needing that physical connection to ground himself. He buried his face in the Marine's neck, breathing him in as he murmured against his neck. "Then that's good enough for me."

Gibbs returned the hug and cupped Tony's face when he pulled back. "I think we're worth the effort too, Tony."

The way Tony's eyes lit up and a wide genuine smile spread across his face was reward enough and reassurance that he'd chosen the right words, for once.

"Good. Let's call it a work in progress then… sort of acknowledge there's a problem and move on, huh?" Tony waited till Gibbs nodded before leaning in for a quick kiss before releasing the older man and turning back to the counter and gesturing at the food.

"Okay… grab a plate, all this arguing makes me hungry." Tony sat at the dining table and began attacking his plate, grinning at Gibbs as his tension began to ease. "Hey, was that our first fight? I mean not our _first_ first fight coz we've had more than a few of those already over the years but our first _us_ fight."

"Yup." A grin tugged at Gibbs' mouth as he sat. "First of many."

"Count on it."

"Figured I'd get my ass handed to me tonight," Gibbs admitted, as he picked up his fork.

Tony returned his smile before laying a hand on Gibbs' arm. "I'm not angry or blaming you for being… you, y'know."

Gibbs snorted. "Sure sounded like it."

"Well, it wasn't meant to come out that way, Jethro. Don't want you to change… you wouldn't be you if you did…" Tony tilted his head, waving his fork, "which is kinda obvious but you get what I mean, right?"

"Uh-huh."

Tony watched Gibbs eat, noticing the guy looked more relaxed than earlier and felt some of his own anxiety ease. "I'm just saying that I get that you've always done it this way, but if we're going to make this work outside of the job, then I reserve the right to worry about you anyway and get in your face when necessary… especially now, okay?"

Gibbs put down his fork and reached across for Tony's hand, gripping his fingers tightly. "Copy that."

* * *

Tony insisted on clearing up after dinner, despite Gibbs' protests, and when he'd finished, he walked into the living room to find Gibbs stretched out on the couch, head resting back on a cushion, eyes closed.

Tony moved across to sit on the coffee table, leaning forward as Gibbs opened his eyes.

"Basement?"

Gibbs shook his head.

Tony raised an eyebrow. "No? Thought you'd need it, especially after today."

"Need you more." The look Gibbs gave him caused warmth to spread through Tony. Gibbs crooked a finger. "C'mere."

Tony grinned broadly, standing up and moving carefully over Gibbs as the older man shifted to make room on the couch.

"You sure there's room on here for both of us?"

"Till we fall off, yeah."

Tony laughed as he stared down at the Marine beneath him. "Or you do, as you're the one nearest the edge… I think all that Twister with Amira has gone to your head."

Tony eased himself into the gap between Gibbs and the back of the couch. It was a tight fit for two large men, but it gave him the excuse to half sprawl across the Marine and he settled in with his head partly on Gibbs' shoulder and partly on the cushion, his arm resting across the man's waist, legs entwined.

Tony could feel the heat of Gibbs all along his side, the mix of his shower gel, the scent of coffee and sawdust combining to soak into him like a comfort blanket as Gibbs wrapped his arms around him.

Content to just lie here, Tony felt all his tension draining away, absorbing everything he could about the feeling of the man underneath him… the steady rise and fall of his chest, the strength in the arms around him, the hardness of the body pressed against his; all too conscious how close he'd come to losing it all.

Soon, the hand that had been resting on his back began to run slowly up and down his spine and the contours of his muscles, to eventually cup the back of his neck and squeezing gently before resuming its journey south, and Tony hummed his appreciation as he relaxed under the soothing touch.

Tony shifted closer, turning to nestle his face into Gibbs' neck, pressing his lips to the warm skin under his nose, murmuring his name.

"God, you smell good." Tony grinned to himself as he felt Gibbs shiver when he reached the sensitive skin under his ear with his mouth.

Long fingers combed through his hair, almost massaging his scalp and Tony closed his eyes, feeling almost like purring as he tilted his head to capture Gibbs' mouth, kissing him softly.

Gibbs pulled Tony nearer as the kiss deepened slowly. Tony burrowed under the T-shirt to reach warm skin, letting his hand roam slowly over Gibbs' stomach, feeling the muscles ripple slightly, absorbing Gibbs' moan into his mouth as the older man arched into his touch.

Tony slid a leg between Gibbs' thighs, and the Marine's hands moved to his hips and ass to pull him even closer, causing a surge of need to roll through Tony as he rocked against the growing bulge he could feel of Gibbs' arousal.

As if a switch had been flipped, the kiss turned hungry and passionate, almost desperately urgent as if both men were trying to reassure the other through their actions… lips warm, tongues slick, teeth nipping.

Only the need for air caused them to back off, breathing ragged as they stared at one another, the atmosphere suddenly charged.

Arousal hummed through his own bones as Tony took in the blown pupils, the blue barely visible in the eyes inches from his own, and felt a surge of satisfaction that he'd caused that reaction in Gibbs.

Tony grinned, his voice hoarse. "Does this mean we're good?"

"Yup." Gibbs crooked a smile, his hand slipping to the side of Tony's neck, squeezing warmly. He pulled Tony into another kiss before skimming his lips along his jawline and onto his neck, his touch so light that Tony shivered as goosebumps chased across his skin.

Gibbs' voice was a low rumble against his skin. "You gonna stay?"

Tony's body responded with enthusiasm to both the idea and the deep voice and Gibbs' grin widened as he felt Tony's reaction against his hip.

Tony let his forehead drop to Gibbs' shoulder. "Hell, yeah!" He raised his head, giving a sheepish grin as he amended hastily, "I mean I want to… if you're sure."

Gibbs stared at him for a moment before nodding. "I'm sure."

Gibbs felt nervous about this next step but was ready to take it… his body reacting with a slow burn tonight that he wanted to go with more than anything.

Tony glanced around, grinning as he took in how jammed against the back of the couch they were, Gibbs partly on his side and almost teetering on the edge of the couch. "Might need to move the party though… not sure there's enough room on here, unless we strap ourselves in. And this feels too good to go anywhere except a bed."

"Planning on it. Need some space." Gibbs let his thumb stroke across Tony's bottom lip before pulling him into another thorough intense kiss that made Tony's head spin.

Tony moaned as he pulled back from the kiss, resting his head against Gibbs, his pulse racing. "Then hold that thought and move that butt, Marine."

Gibbs grinned and pushed Tony back and rolled off the couch, reaching down to pull the younger man to his feet. Tony's arms wrapped around Gibbs as soon as he came to his feet and took his mouth in another kiss, trying to pour his heart and soul into it.

The kiss ended and Gibbs slid his fingers down Tony's arm to link hands, his own breathing ragged. "Felt… good to come back to you. Come home."

Tony cupped Gibbs' face in his palm, stroking his cheek. "Until I nearly ruined it."

Gibbs shook his head. "Not possible. That's usually my job."

Tony leaned in to whisper against Gibbs' mouth. "Not this time."

Gibbs stared at him, a crooked smile breaking out before he turned and all but dragged Tony towards the stairs. They barely made it to the second step before Tony tugged on his hand to stop him, pressing Gibbs against the wall, sliding his fingers into the Marine's hair as he took his mouth in a bruising kiss.

He couldn't seem to get enough of kissing Gibbs, as if trying to make up for all the years of longing. He moaned as he felt hands pulling at his sweatshirt, lost in sensation as he explored and teased the mouth moving under his.

Clothes were discarded as they stumbled upstairs, stopping to kiss and let hands roam over newly revealed skin every few feet. Tony was barely conscious of his surroundings as they staggered, partly undressed, into the master bedroom, which he'd glimpsed before but never entered.

They separated by the bed, staring at one another, panting for breath, chests heaving. Gibbs' hair was mussed, his pants partly unbuckled and belt hanging loose and in Tony's eyes, the Marine had never looked sexier.

Gibbs turned away briefly to flick on the bedside lamp before stepping close, sliding his arms around Tony's waist and Tony closed his eyes against the feel of skin on skin, all coherent thought leaving the building.

Taking him by surprise, Gibbs grinned and pushed Tony back on the bed, moving over him. Tony let his fingers move through the smattering of hair on Gibbs' chest and around to map out the contours of Gibbs' back.

When he reached the base of his spine, Tony slid his fingers under the waistband of Gibbs' pants to smooth out onto his butt, squeezing the firm muscles and arching up as he pulled Gibbs down, heat rushing through him as he hardened further, his body aching for more.

Breaking apart as if by common consent, both men stripped off the rest of their clothes in a rush, Tony the first to finish and he stretched out on the bed as he waited for Gibbs, watching every move the guy made, enjoying the play of muscles under the skin as more flesh was revealed.

Gibbs joined Tony on the bed, laying down on his side, his hand coming to rest on Tony's hip as the younger man rolled to face him. They'd seen one another naked before but this was a whole other level… and for Tony, it was a long held fantasy come to very large life…

… to be sprawled across a bed with an aroused Gibbs within reach of his hands and mouth... a Gibbs who was looking at him with almost an intrigued wonder, blue eyes roaming slowly over his body in turn.

Tony had spent years storing away fantasy fodder of Gibbs' body, craving every detail about the man… glimpses in the shower here, sneaked looks in shared hotel rooms there.

But now he could take his time… to look and linger, and touch and taste.

The man was beautiful… there was no other word for it, although Tony could imagine Gibbs' reaction if he ever told him so.

As well as his handsome face and piercing blue eyes, Gibbs was in amazing shape for his age, defined shoulders and arms, a strong edible neck, a broad chest with a smattering of silver hair, long legs, a softening of the flesh around the belly and hips the only sign of less than peak shape, the skin scarred with knife, bullet and shrapnel wounds that spoke of a life under fire, down to the beautiful hands and thick cock straining against his belly, which twitched under Tony's gaze.

And that was just the front.

He'd seen Gibbs' ass and back enough times in the shower to know it was worth a very lengthy exploration all of its own.

Tony raised his eyes to meet amused blue eyes, _that_ smirk tugging at Gibbs' mouth. "You finished?"

Tony grinned. "Oh, I haven't even started yet."

"Neither have I."

Tony almost heard the 'but' not uttered but clearly flashing through Gibbs' mind and he could see the emotions and vulnerability on his face and guess at the reasons. But the very fact Gibbs was letting him see him emotionally bare as well as physically naked warmed Tony more than any words could.

Tony reached out to rest his hand gently on Gibbs' chest. "You okay?"

"Yeah…" Gibbs nodded but then averted his gaze. "Aw hell, Tony, I feel like a nervous virgin."

Tony let his hand run gently along Gibbs' collarbone and higher, mimicking the firm but gentle way Gibbs clasped his neck that always settled _him_. "Won't do anything you're not comfortable with, Jethro… We'll go with whatever you wanna do. Let your gut take over and just trust me, okay?"

He felt Gibbs relax minutely under his hand. "I do."

Tony shuffled closer, gently urging Gibbs onto his back, leaning in for a kiss as he began caressing his chest and stomach. He kept his touches light, edging closer and closer to his nipples until Gibbs was shifting beneath him, an iron grip on his shoulders as he returned the kiss.

Tony's mouth fastened onto Gibbs' neck, suckling hard at his pulse point and he felt a surge of lust as Gibbs virtually growled in response. Tony grinned against his neck before going back to nipping and licking, hearing the low moan rumbling in the chest under his hands as Tony began rocking against the muscled thigh trapped between his legs.

Tony was just getting into it, hands starting to roam more, when he suddenly found himself flipped onto his back. Tony burst out laughing as he stared up at Gibbs hovering over him, shivering as he saw the smouldering heat in those blue eyes.

Tony ran his hands up Gibbs' sides and around to his back and down to squeeze his ass. "I see you're no more patient in bed than you are out of it."

Gibbs grinned. "Damn straight."

Gibbs settled his weight against Tony, and the younger man groaned, his eyes closing as he relished the full body embrace, the delicious warmth and slide of flesh on flesh.

Tony had wanted to hold Gibbs like this, to feel all of him, for what seemed like forever and he moaned as their cocks brushed against one another, the friction sending a surge of pleasure through Tony as Gibbs flexed his hips.

Tony smoothed a hand up the surprisingly soft skin of Gibbs' back to cup his head, leaning up to nip Gibbs' jaw which prompted the Marine to go for Tony's neck, biting down at the junction where it met his shoulder and Tony gasped, arching up into him.

Gibbs absorbed the feeling of Tony's hands on him, his senses humming with arousal as he explored the younger man's body in turn. Gibbs took his cues from Tony's reactions, almost gently stroking and licking his way across his skin, letting his mouth and hands act on instinct.

Tony lay still, his hands flexing on Gibbs' shoulders and back, letting the Marine explore, conscious of the intrigued surprise on Gibbs' face mingled with the desire, the almost tentative nature of his caresses as he ghosted his fingers over Tony's body.

The Marine behaved as if he was processing all these new sensations and Tony was prepared to be as patient as he could, if his body could stand the wait, to let Gibbs do whatever he wanted. Heat spread through him and blood pounded in his veins as tried to control his body's reactions, not wanting this to end quickly but feeling close to losing it.

His emotions were also close to overwhelming Tony from the almost tender devotion in the way Gibbs was touching him.

Tony had longed to have Gibbs' intense focus on him like this for years and he felt like he was on fire, his senses reeling as he concentrated on Gibbs' hands and mouth on his skin.

Eventually, Tony could stand it no longer… he had to move… to touch.

Tony surged up, pushing Gibbs onto his back and the Marine let him and they landed in a tangle of limbs and laughter. Tony felt his heart seize in his chest at the reflection of his own desire in the blue eyes staring up at him.

Taking Gibbs' mouth in a deep kiss, he felt almost drunk on the man by the time he tore his mouth away and trailed kisses down his neck, suckling on the hollow of his throat and licking his way along the skin, taking note of what made Gibbs groan.

Gibbs relaxed into Tony's touches as he kissed his way down his chest, lavishing attention on his nipples with his tongue and on down his stomach, pressing open mouthed kisses to the heated skin as Tony explored every inch, taking his time… seemingly intent on driving Gibbs insane in the process.

Gibbs propped himself up on his elbows, watching Tony as he slowly made his way down his body, diverting around his aching cock to trail nipping kisses down his legs, hands kneading the muscles until Gibbs was shifting restlessly on the bed under the torture, not able to hold back the moans as he searched for the friction he desperately needed.

His breath hitched as Tony paused, hovering between his legs, green eyes full of mischief as he grinned up the line of his body and Gibbs groaned, dropping his head back on the pillow as he fought for control.

He almost came off the bed when he felt a quick lick across the tip of his cock, followed by Tony blowing lightly on the wet flesh. A strong hand wrapped around him, beginning to move in long steady strokes. He raised his head again in time to see Tony's mouth take him in and suckle on the sensitive tip, tongue swirling slowly around the broad head.

Gibbs rested his hand on Tony's head, carding his fingers through his hair as Tony worked him. The combination of Tony's clever tongue, the heat of his mouth and skilful fingers drove Gibbs closer to the edge as he rocked his hips as the younger man took him in deeper, inch by inch.

Tony was pretty sure he could come just like this, without being touched anymore. The sight of a very aroused Gibbs shifting on the bed, the taste and feel of him in his mouth, the sound of his groans, the hot velvety skin under his hands, all combined to have Tony fighting back his own encroaching orgasm.

Lavishing attention on Gibbs, he concentrated on memorizing every sensitive spot… what made the man moan, cry out, writhe, and downright _growl_ at him.

He could sense Gibbs was close when the older man began to shift his hips, thigh muscles tensing, clearly holding back the urge to buck up harder into Tony's mouth, and Tony hummed around his cock, causing Gibbs to curse as he began to lose control.

Managing a strangled cry of Tony's name, Gibbs tried to warn him, giving him time to back off. But the younger man didn't, only redoubling his efforts, swirling his tongue over the tip and suckling hard, tugging gently on his balls and rubbing gently into the skin behind them.

It was enough to push him over and the intensity of his orgasm took Gibbs by surprise and he arched his back as he came, hand tight in Tony's hair.

When the world righted itself again, Gibbs raised his head, still struggling for breath to see Tony resting his head on his thigh, an insufferably smug grin on his face.

Gibbs grinned back, smoothing his fingers through Tony's hair and beckoned Tony closer. The younger man moved up the bed and into Gibbs' arms, burying his head into the guys' neck, his pulsing hardness digging into his hip.

Tony was almost trembling with need, he felt so close and knew it would take very little to finish him off.

He nuzzled into the damp skin under his nose, managing to rasp out, "Sit rep. You okay?"

Gibbs laughed, ruffling Tony's hair. "You couldn't tell?"

Tony raised his head, grinning at the sated amused expression on Gibbs' face. "Well, I guess the hand nearly ripping my hair out mighta been a slight clue you were enjoying it."

Gibbs urged Tony onto his back, hovering over the younger man, leaning down to kiss his neck, murmuring against his skin. "Tell me what you want me to do, Tony."

Tony shuddered at the light brush of lips on his neck. "Touch me, Jethro. Just… touch me, don't care how… I'm not gonna last long. Jeez, I just need… oh god," Tony broke off, his heart jumping in his chest as a calloused hand suddenly wrapped around his weeping cock, his breath catching as a palm rubbed over the head, spreading the moisture.

"I gotcha, Tony… just let it go."

Gibbs kissed him as he began to stroke Tony's cock, once again going with how Tony was reacting to him and what he liked having done to himself… firmer here, teasing there, increasing pressure and speed gradually.

Tony arched into every stroke, thrusting into Gibbs' strong hand, his breath hot against Gibbs' shoulder. Having his mouth and hands on Gibbs and now being wrapped in the guy's arms with those fingers bringing him off was the culmination of years of need and lust and while Tony wanted to make it last, he was already feeling the tightening at the base of his spine that signalled it was nearly all over.

Gibbs pulled him closer until he was practically sprawled over Tony when his release hit and Tony's hips jerked erratically as he shuddered, groaning Gibbs' name as he came, hard.

Gibbs held Tony as he trembled through the aftershocks, stroking his back gently as Tony's breathing calmed, their limbs tangled.

Tony nuzzled into his neck before capturing Gibbs' mouth in a slow, teasing kiss, trying to convey everything he felt because he sure as hell couldn't find the words; he was pretty sure his brain had just melted out of his ears.

Tony broke for air but barely had time to register Gibbs' full-on grin before the older man pulled him back into another breathy, sloppy kiss, and Tony laughed against his mouth as the kiss went on and on.

Eventually when Gibbs let him go, Tony slid his lips along Gibbs' jawline to his neck. "Well, I tried to hang on but that felt too good…" He felt Gibbs' deep chuckle under his mouth and nipped his neck before sliding to the side and flopping into his back.

"We can go slower next time."

Tony moaned, his spent cock twitching at the thought, sated as he was. "He's gonna kill me, I know he is… it's a Marine thing, right?" He turned his head, taking in Gibbs' smile and raised eyebrow. Tony laughed. "Right now, I think we need to get cleaned up or one of us is sleeping in the wet spot."

Gibbs snorted and rolled out of bed, disappearing into the bathroom, leaving Tony lying on the bed, looking around the room, taking in his sparsely furnished surroundings for the first time, feeling himself grinning from ear to ear like an idiot but unable to stop.

Gibbs reappeared, wielding a damp washcloth which he tossed to Tony who cleaned up and levered himself out of bed to dump it in the laundry basket, returning on still shaky legs to the bedroom.

Gibbs was waiting for him, lying on his side, head propped on one hand and an expression on his face that caused Tony's stomach to flip flop. Tony slid under the covers, shuffling close to Gibbs and mirroring his position.

Gibbs wasn't sure he could find the words to express what he was feeling right now, but maybe he didn't need to… the happiness on Tony's face and shining in his green eyes was so obvious it made Gibbs' chest hurt.

Tony felt his skin heating up again from the warm gaze. It was usually about now that he felt the need to start retreating emotionally from closeness like this, from something that moved him so much and left him feeling vulnerable but Tony was determined to fight that instinct this time.

Gibbs deserved better from him than that, and Tony guessed Gibbs might be feeling the same vulnerability and be needing the same kind of reassurance.

Tony rested a hand on the Marine's chest, smoothing over the muscles. "I'll change what I said earlier… we're not just good, we're awesome. That work for you as well as it did for me, even though I know it's new for you…"

"Felt real good… coz it's you, Tony." Tony shivered at the low, rough note in Gibbs' voice, the certainty in the deep voice. "Wanna go further. Want more…"

"Me too… but not gonna rush any of it…" Tony leaned in for another kiss, murmuring against Gibbs' mouth, "but yeah, there's nothing I wanna feel more than you inside me… when you're ready."

Gibbs pulled him closer, his arms wrapping Tony up. "Want that too…soon. And more."

Tony tensed and felt his jaw drop in surprise, just about stopping himself from asking Gibbs if he really meant what he hoped he did.

Gibbs read him as usual and squeezed tightly, murmuring against his hair and making Tony shiver. "If it's feels good, I want it all… partner."

Tony nuzzled into Gibbs' chest, raising his head to meet intense blue eyes. "I promise you, Jethro, it will feel really, really, really good."

After a bit of restless fidgeting punctuated with more laughter, they eventually settled on a position they both felt comfortable with, Gibbs spooned behind Tony, his arm heavy around his waist.

Tony rested his hand on Gibbs' hand where it lay on his stomach, smiling to himself as one more wish got ticked off the list… to feel the warmth and strength of Gibbs against his back as he slept, held in his arms.

Tony felt he was almost melting into the heat behind him. The guy was going to be a great electric blanket in the winter.

Gibbs felt calm and content, feeling more settled and complete than he had in years, as if something vital had slotted into place in his life again.

He heard the sleepy mumble. "Night, Jethro."

Gibbs nuzzled into the skin on the back of his neck, pressing a kiss to that spot that raised goosebumps. "Night, Tony."

Tony let himself drift for a moment before a thought struck him and he huffed a laugh.

Gibbs' arm tightened. "What?"

Tony glanced back over his shoulder. "I was right, wasn't I, back in your basement all those months ago?" When Gibbs gave him a questioning look, Tony grinned. "Told ya I was giving up women."

The end… for now!

* * *

A/N: There will be a sequel at some point… gawd knows when but this 'verse has been so much fun to do that I'd really like to do more in it.


End file.
